Top 100 Couch Quotes
#1. In durance vile 1here must I wake and weep, And all my frowsy couch in sorrow steep.
Robert Burns
#2. It's a one of a kind, camel-toe couch. For when yoga pants aren't enough.
H.M. Ward
#3. I have a constitutional weakness in which I am very easily distracted by flashing lights. If there is a TV on in the room, I can't have a conversation with you. I won't eat, I won't sleep, I'll just meld with my couch.
Rachel Maddow
#4. Mums ask me how to get their husbands off the couch as well as asking me to marry them. But kids ask me to get their mums and dads to play with them more as well.
Magnus Scheving
#5. I grabbed my mom and I went to the couch and I said, 'Mom I want to ask Jesus to come into my heart.' And I got on my knee and I asked Jesus to come into my heart, forgive me of my sins, and make me a child of God.
Tim Tebow
#6. Sturdy swimmers afloat on water-couch
Beneath the heavy bill their treasured pouch
Fishes pray for them to fly far away
Inland lakes toast to the Pelican's day
Munia Khan
#7. If New York is the City That Never Sleeps, then Los Angeles is the City That's Always Passed Out on the Couch.
Paul Beatty
#8. I'm hyper-aware of my last name and it's lack of Derby or Horowtiz-esque sonorousness. Moffett sounds like a type of couch cushion. I guess I'm hoping to start a wave of first-name usage.
Kevin Moffett
#9. Ugh - moral choice: couch or bed, couch or bed? The decision was taken out of my hands as Noah hooked a finger on my back belt loop and tugged me, backward, toward the bed. His arms snaked around my waist and pulled me down alongside him.
Katie McGarry
#10. This bullet can go straight through the couch."
He was right. Fuck Ikea for making such flimsy furniture.
Karina Halle
#11. I can't just sit all day on the couch and expect the weight to come off. My goals are my new focus instead of food.
Graham Elliot
#12. I just try to use my own life to build a human song: something that people can relate to in some way. It's not like the psychiatrist's couch or anything.
Iron & Wine
#13. I read everywhere. I read every day. I read on the couch with my dog in the afternoon and at night. I try to read at least two to three hours a day. I read only fiction.
R.L. Stine
#14. I used Vamps as a casting couch! I pretty much did, because I was casting 'L!fe Happens' while I was on the set of Vamps, and anybody I had ever worked with, I asked to be in this movie.
Krysten Ritter
#15. I do enjoy my solo time ... I want to stay home and do soundtracks and watch TV in my underwear with a keyboard on my lap and just be a couch potato.
Ariel Pink
#16. Tell you a story? Or I could just, like, pass out And twitch on the couch THIS
Rick Riordan
#17. I don't know if you actually get something out of writing poetry. I think poetry is an autonomous muse that decides to come and sit on your couch.
Alice Walker
#18. I look at her wish we could go inside and make love on the couch.
Dive inside each other.
Take each other.
Make each other.
Nothing happens, though.
Markus Zusak
#19. Twitter is the perfect complement to television. TV has always been social. You talk to the person you're sitting next to on the couch. You talk to the people you're - you know, at work with the next day around the proverbial water cooler.
Dick Costolo
#20. Having wires strewn across your couch and across the floor is a big deal to a lot of people.
J Allard
#21. When you travel so much, the best and most relaxing thing is to just sit on the couch and not move.
Serena Williams
#22. To say the loaner was not pretty was an understatement. It was a 1907's olive-green Buick Century with a white top. Lindsay felt like she was driving her living-room couch, but despite the looks, the engine purred and it glided over potholes in the road like butter
on toast.
Jenn McKinlay
#23. The phrase rush to judgement is a silly one. When it comes to judgement, most of us don't have have to rush. We don't have to even leave the couch. Our judgement is easy to reach for.
David Levithan
#24. I have come to discover that the reason why they are so wealthy and prosperous is not because they were lying on the couch all day.
Sunday Adelaja
#25. Television programming is the number one topic on Twitter, and dozens of start-ups in the social space are linking second-screen experiences. People no longer need to sit on the same couch to enjoy a show together.
Jay Samit
#26. Some ghosts haunt you for life. The best you can do is make room on the couch and get used to living with them.
Jay Bell
#27. People are all the same. We need a personal reason to get our asses off the couch.
Olen Steinhauer
#28. If the nineteenth century was the age of the editorial chair, ours is the century of the psychiatrist's couch.
Marshall McLuhan
#29. I'm so lazy. I'm on the road all the time working, so when I'm at home, my perfect date is just laying on the couch!
Kellie Pickler
#30. Since I sleep fully clothed, I'm able to answer right away. By sleeping with your clothes on, you don't need to climb under the sheets. You don't need to disturb a perfectly made bed or even fold the bed back into the couch.
Adam Johnson
#31. I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
Bo Burnham
#32. If clothes look like a couch or an ottoman or a love seat, you just wanna stay away from it.
Santino Rice
#33. I stared at the couch with revulsion. "She's someone's daughter, Travis. What if, down the line, someone treats your daughter like that?"
"My daughter better not drop her panties for some jackass she just met, let's put it that way.
Jamie McGuire
#34. As an educator, I think educators should meet the people wherever they are. Don't even ask them to come half-way. Find them where they are, and sit on a couch with them.
Neil DeGrasse Tyson
#35. Orange Juice? Sure. Toast? Sure. One last time on the couch? Sure. Phone number? Sure. See you again? Oooh, absolutely. That was the lie I told. Probably not, that was the truth, that was that which went unspoken.
T. Scott McLeod
#36. Sitting on couch, lying legs apart
Dark dirty naked. Smiling at me,
Wicked lazy lusty eyes. I moaned,
When saw movement inside his silent,
The thick forest of pubic hair.
Delicious David
#37. I've always been active - outdoors, on the beach, playing - and so to go home and have to sit on my couch and relax ... it's frustrating. Sometimes, you just have to really shut yourself down.
Landon Donovan
#38. I don't have a wife, I don't have any kids, I don't have any addictions that keep me drooling on the couch, and I'm kind of target oriented.
Henry Rollins
#39. There is - I mean - I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor.
Al Franken
#40. It was a stretch to imagine that Barbara Walters might want to give it all up for Ed Couch, but Evelyn tried her hardest. Of course, even though she was not religious, it was a comfort to know that the Bible backed her up in being a doormat.
Fannie Flagg
#41. You know home isn't really about what color your couch is or what you hang on the wall... Home is about knowing you are in the right place with the right people.
Jay Crownover
#42. To find out who you are is like putting yourself on a psychiatric couch, but you have nobody to help you. Really it isn't easy. I was talking with my nephew this morning and he gave me one of the best quotes I've heard in years 'Personal style is curiosity about oneself.'
Iris Apfel
#43. Michael (Jackson) was so shy, he'd sit down and sing behind the couch with his back to me while I sat with my hands over my eyes-and the lights off.
Quincy Jones
#44. I remember how beautiful it was to fall asleep on your couch and cry in front of you for the first time.
You were the best platform from which to jump beyond myself.
What was wrong with me?
Alanis Morissette
#45. There are more than enough people with serious mental issues who really do need professional help without all the other Toms, Dicks and Harriets rushing to the therapist's couch.
Mariella Frostrup
#46. If and when I do get "down," the last thing on my mind is writing a song. Usually, being bummed just involves lying around on the couch and taking the bad weather personally. I only write songs when I feel good - or at least something approaching "good."
Wooden Wand
#47. It's totally fine," I explained to Liz as she paced back and forth behind the couch. "She's totally housebroken. She'll go to the door and spit on it when she needs to go out.
Tara Sivec
#48. A wiry crewman named Kobis sat at the end of a couch, reading a book in the low light, clearly relishing the closest thing he ever found to peace and quiet
V.E Schwab
#49. You will NEVER be just a guy, Rome. You're the best brother a guy could have. You're a fucking hero. No one, and I mean no one, has ever had my back the way you have. You are an incredible person, be it in the army fighting a war or sitting on the goddamn couch watching the game. Don't forget it.
Jay Crownover
#50. I pulled him close. "You can try your best. The only problem is after this is all over with reality is going to be waiting for me."
He took my shirt off and tossed it over his shoulder pulling me down on the couch. He kissed me again, biting at my lip. "Ignorance is bliss.
Holly Hood
#51. I love you like a couch potato loves his remote. - Brody Madden
Kate McCarthy
#52. I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch."
Phyllis Diller
#53. So how old are you, baby?" Gorilla asks her.
"Old enough to know better," she says, looking at his arms.
"You like what you see?" he asks and touches her leg. "You and me should do it, later."
"Did you forget to evolve?" she asks, struggling to get off the couch.
Cath Crowley
#54. I pulled a hamstring during the New York City Marathon. An hour into the race, I jumped off the couch ...
David Letterman
#55. The thing that makes my generation The Greatest is our ability to hang out. We're spectacular at it. If you take somebody from my generation and sit them on a couch and bring them food and plumbing, they'll sit there and talk to you about anything you want until the day you die.
Lewis Black
#56. The most luxurious thing to me is having an hour of my day, which rarely happens, to listen to my iPod and sit on my couch. That's how I unwind.
Grant Achatz
#57. We have better relationships with those who truly seek us rather than those sitting on the couch watching us move mountains trying to prove ourselves.
Criss Jami
#58. I don't like going out that much. I'm kind of an old lady. After it's 11, I'm like, 'Don't these kids ever get tired?' When I'm out, I think about my couch. Like, 'It would be awesome to be on it right now. I bet there's an episode of Dance Moms on.
Jennifer Lawrence
#59. I love you, couch - have I ever told you that? Well, I'm telling you now.
Emma Chase
#60. Television was soon to eclipse print's inky cloud with its magnetic flare of electrons, pulling millions from their reading chairs to the viewing couch.
John Updike
#61. My description of fun would be to sit on someone's couch and watch TV. Regular cable TV. When I'm in a hotel, on-demand is the same. I watch the TV in another language, trying to figure out what they're saying.
Curtis Jackson
#62. I have a pullout couch, and I could sleep in the living room. You can have the bedroom."
"I'm sorry. No." Mel put her hand on his chest, her eyes sparkling. "I have to draw the line there. I should at least get sex out of this deal or this really would be a tragedy.
Lisa Kessler
#63. I can't believe anyone would voluntarily run 26 miles. Sometimes I sit on the couch cross-legged because I don't feel like walking to the bathroom.
Jen Lancaster
#64. We as parents are our children's first and best role models, and this is particularly true when it comes to their health ... We can't lie around on the couch eating French fries and candy bars and expect our kids to eat carrots and run around the block.
Michelle Obama
#65. Ever notice how on a bad day you never deserve a salad? I mean how long do you think your bad mood would really last if you only fed your brat celery? How many bad days would your brat tolerate if it no longer got rewarded a drink, a cigarette, or an entire Netflix series on the couch for it.
Lauren Handel Zander
#66. I swear I've spent half my life hiding behind a couch and the other half wondering why no one was paying attention to me. On
Sarah Hepola
#67. My buddies are like, 'You live the most amazing life!' Well, I'm working like a dog. I come home most nights and pass out on the couch.
Dennis Crowley
#68. Every night, I'm like, 'Where's the party?' and then it cuts to me on the couch with the remote control watching repeats of 'That '70s Show' and 'Boy Meets World.'
Jennifer Damiano
#69. Inside their small house, Grace listened as Roman stood from the couch and walked into the bathroom. He sat down to piss. She thought that Roman's sit-down pisses were one of the most romantic and caring things that any man had ever done for any woman. After
Sherman Alexie
#70. Owning a dog is like having a demanding manner-less friend who never bathes themselves but which somehow ends up spending every single night on your couch.
Matte Resist
#72. An odd arrangement ... to have a couch facing the bed, and I smile to myself - I've picked on the couch as odd, when really it's the most mundane piece of furniture in the room. - Anastasia seeing the playroom for the first time.
E.L. James
#73. Leaving the group, he reclined on a couch, drank morosely, and watched people. He noticed the games they played with one another. They put on masks of civility, all while spewing their venom.
Francine Rivers
#74. The irregularities of the motion of Uranus ... in order to find out whether they may be attributed to the action of an undiscovered planet beyond it.
[John Couch Adams on how he began to discover Neptune.]
John Couch Adams
#75. If I spend a Saturday being lazy and curled up on the couch with my dogs, I'll just make sure to get out and be active on Sunday.
Sophia Bush
#76. Spartacus," I called, "how's it hanging?" Probably not too well. Once you're dead, had your organs removed, and are resurrected as an undead mummified cat, your testicles probably looked like old raisins that had rolled under the couch. Raisins didn't tend to ... hang.
Rob Thurman
#77. Self expression is the new entertainment, We never used to question why people sit on the couch for seven hours a day watching bad TV. Nobody ever asked, Why are they doing that for free? We need to celebrate [this desire to contribute for free] rather than question it.
Arianna Huffington
#78. You can manage to break your neck, yes. Stop being a fussy pants and let me help you to the couch." Kane laughed and skipped ahead. "Fussy pants. She called you a fussy pants.
Lucian Bane
#79. If the mind is wearied by study, or the body worn with sickness,It is well to lie fallow for a while, in the vacancy of sheer amusement ;But when thou prosprest in health, and thine intellect can soar untired,To seek uninstructive pleasure is to slumber on the couch of indolence.
Martin Farquhar Tupper
#80. Hopping over the side of the couch I landed on top of him. "My bones are so heavy! I don't think I can move." I groaned.
"Ack!" he grunted. "I can't breathe."
"Oh noes! However will I get up so that my bubby can breathe?
Nicole Hamlett
#81. Walking around without makeup all the time! I know that you should not do, but this is what I like to do and now it's really comfortable and fun. In this chaos is really nice to have someone where you can sit on the couch and not worry about it.
Danneel Ackles
#82. Anything television trivia I'm good at. But when you're on your couch, you're really good at it, but when you're standing there, it's probably scary.
Sarah Silverman
#83. I sighed, looking down at the book in my hands. The Years. I rested my elbow against the arm of the couch and cracked the spine. It had the feel of a book that hadn't been touched in decades, creaking, as if to say ahhh.
Sarah Jio
#84. Our two chairs were drawn up to the fire; a stack of scholarly books beside his and the latest volume of The Casebook of Simon Feximal by mine. Our cat Saul curled on the couch; he opened one sleepy eye at our entrance, then closed it again. The
Jordan L. Hawk
#85. John and Kirsty sat on the couch in her living room; two ostensibly broken people who, for just a few hours, had made each feel other feel decidedly less so.
Holly Sharp
#86. I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.
Zach Galifianakis
#87. Ranger was slouched on the couch, watching a ball game. Bob was beside him, his big shaggy orange Bob head resting on Ranger's leg.
Janet Evanovich
#88. Where did you sleep?"
His mouth curled in a cocky grin at this question. "Where do you think?"
...
He turned his attention back to the wood and answered his own question, sounding a little bored all of a sudden. "On the couch.
Sophie Jordan
#89. The moon has set In a bank of jet That fringes the Western sky, The pleiads seven Have sunk from heaven And the midnight hurries by; My hopes are flown And, alas! alone On my weary couch I lie.
Sappho
#90. I walked across the polished marble floor and sat on a red velvet lounging couch. I idly wondered how exactly one was supposed to lounge. I couldn't remember ever doing it myself. After a moment's consideration, I decided lounging was probably similar to relaxing, but with more money in your pocket.
Patrick Rothfuss
#91. Nothing like an orange and olive green-striped couch sitting on orange carpet and surrounded by dark wood paneling to get the inspiration rolling.
Erynn Mangum
#92. I've never seen anyone sleep with their head hanging off the back of a wooden chair before - was the couch not comfortable enough for you?
Tabitha Suzuma
#93. When you look at a couch you don't really see the couch. You see the couch as perceived by a state of mind.
Frederick Lenz
#94. Lexy lay curled up in Greys arms on the couch and slept a dreamless sleep free of dragons for she had slain them once again.
The Children of Ankh series
Kim Cormack
#95. You can promote your books from the comfort of your couch by taking advantage of Goodreads.
Catherine Carrigan
#96. The goal was to work enough to pay my bills and stop going through the couch looking for change. Going way beyond that isn't something I really factored in.
Melissa McCarthy
#97. I decided to build a studio in my house. We built it in my basement kitchen. I had the drummer up by the fish tank. I was in the toilet singing. The bass player was out by the shelves in the living room, and the guitarist was on the couch by the telly.
Eddi Reader
#98. This is the psychosis of being a human being - the things that we deal with on a day-to-day basis that make us who we are and that sometimes we have to get on the couch and talk out.
Nate Parker
#99. I completely and utterly rely on my mum. Without my mum, I would not be anywhere at all. I'd literally just be a couch potato.
Tom Holland
#100. I watch so much television. My DVR is full. I love putting my kids to bed, so I can sit on the couch with my wife and we can dissect The Affair, The Americans, House of Cards, or whatever it is. I'm so lucky.
Scott Foley
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