Classic Insult Quotes

#1. The still lake without ripples is an image of our minds at ease, so full of unlimited friendliness for all the junk at the bottom of the lake that we don't feel the need to churn up the waters just to avoid looking at what's there.

Pema Chodron

#2. The trouble with the world is that laziness is seldom curable and never fatal.

Evan Esar

#3. If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

Dorothy Parker

#4. Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

Mark Twain

#5. An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.

Winston S. Churchill

#6. He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

Billy Wilder

#7. He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

Forrest Tucker

#8. The world comes to life and everything's right
From beginning to end when you have a friend by your side
That helps you to find the beauty you are
When you open your heart and believe in
When you believe in
You can believe in
In the gift of a friend

Demi Lovato

#9. Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it.

Moses Hadas

#10. The Big Lie in the church today is that you are nothing more than a sinner saved by grace.

John Eldredge

#11. A witch so bold would not flinch, no matter how harsh her punishment might be, though his wish was for her to feel every strike.

Arla Dahl

#12. The truth is that she spoke about her misfortune without any shame in order to cover up the other misfortune, the real one, that was burning in her insides.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

#13. She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

Dorothy Parker

#14. I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx

#15. His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

Mae West

#16. The common moral praxis of Jews and Christians is most definitely theologically informed by the doctrine we share in common: The human person, male and female, is created in the image of God.

David Novak

#17. I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.

Stephen Bishop

#18. A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

Winston S. Churchill

#19. I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Mark Twain

#20. He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
[On British Labour politician Stafford Cripps.]

Winston S. Churchill

#21. I love commercials.

Willard Scott

#22. I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)
"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
- Churchill's response

George Bernard Shaw

#23. Aww, you know my verbal stingers are only poisoned with love

Laurie Faria Stolarz

#24. This impeccably researched study of the classic black insult game may be the funniest work of serious scholarship ever published.

Terry Teachout

#25. CASSIO: Dost thou hear, my honest friend?
CLOWN: No, I hear not your honest friend, I hear you.
CASSIO: Prithee, keep up thy quillets.

William Shakespeare

#26. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.'
That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.

Benjamin Disraeli

#27. It's better to be interested than interesting.

Jane Fonda

#28. He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.

Samuel Foote

#29. He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea, and that was wrong.

Benjamin Disraeli

#30. Today only the person who no longer believes in a happy ending, only he who has consciously renounced it, is able to live. A happy century does not exist; but there are moments of happiness, and there is freedom in the moment.

Ernst Junger

#31. He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts ... for support rather than illumination.

Andrew Lang

#32. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

Dorothy Parker

#33. To speak much is one thing; to speak to the point another!

Sophocles

#34. You need someone who has a really good way of enabling trust in the cast and crew, or the cast particularly, to allow them the confidence to stretch themselves to get the performance that you're going to need to provide all of the emotional up and downs in the film.

Nicholas Sparks

#35. He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

P.G. Wodehouse

#36. That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.

Dorothy Parker