B'nai Mitzvah Quotes

#1. Every bar mitzvah I ever went to was, 'Here comes 'Oh, What a Night.'

Erich Bergen

#2. I grew up in a secular suburban Jewish household where we only observed the religion on very specific times like a funeral or a Bar Mitzvah.

Jesse Eisenberg

#3. I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

Zach Braff

#4. Being a writer in Hollywood is like going to Hitler's Eagle Nest with a great idea for a bar mitzvah.

David Mamet

#5. The comment quieted the room, like a sudden shout of "Who wants extra bacon?" at a bar mitzvah.

Brandon Sanderson

#6. Well, when I was 13, for my bar mitzvah I received my first typewriter. And that was special.

R.L. Stine

#7. Until he turned twelve, Nimrod was a shitty person. The kind of whiner that, if he wasn't your best friend, you'd have kicked his ass a long time ago. And then one day, just before his bar mitzvah, they put insoles in his shoes, and suddenly the guy was a whole new human being.

Etgar Keret

#8. This is hands down the biggest, most exciting thing I've ever been involved with in my life. I can only compare it to my Bar Mitzvah.

Shia Labeouf

#9. People need what they think of as a poem to be read at their bar mitzvah, their wedding, a funeral, whatever. And people are looking for hope and inspiration. I understand that.

Joan Larkin

#10. I was the - my trendsetting moment was my bar mitzvah had the first, like, temporary tattoo guy.

Evan Goldberg

#11. Yes. This, all that's happening now, this is your bat mitzvah. You can play with atoms, you can sit with the grown-ups."
"What does that mean for us?"
"That means you won't be forgiven for childhood mistakes anymore.

Sylvain Neuvel

#12. When I celebrated my bar mitzvah, there was no cake. Today, there is no such thing as a bar mitzvah in the United States without a special cake. It can be even more complicated and expensive than a wedding cake, because bar-mitzvah cakes are often based on a particular theme.

Ron Ben-Israel

#13. Mitzvah" is Hebrew for "colossal pain in the ass.

Jesse Andrews

#14. A mitzvah that costs money is worth more than one that costs nothing.

Nachman Of Breslov

#15. When I wasn't working on Broadway, I worked in a Bat Mitzvah dress shop and was the Cinderella of the shop - always cleaning and vacuuming!

Lea Michele

#16. What's funny is I probably still have some calligraphy business cards floating out in the world, and I can't wait for someone to call me in a month or something, and say, 'Can you do these for my son's Bar Mitzvah?'

Meghan Markle

#17. Everyone in my grade is turning 13, so there are bunches of bar and bat mitzvahs. They're very dressy. It's fun picking out outfits. One girl, for her bat mitzvah, wore a huge red ball gown!

Elle Fanning

#18. I never really liked "cool" books. I plowed through as much Borges and Joyce as possible, read the first half of V. and spent whole Bar Mitzvah checks on Beat poetry.

Simon Rich

#19. I had been coming to New York, pretty much once a month, to dance on Broadway. I was offered a huge Broadway show but couldn't do it because my brother was having his huge Bar Mitzvah.

Sami Gayle

#20. I had a bat mitzvah, was confirmed, went to Jewish summer camp, I go to temple for the High Holy Days. I think, like most people in their early 20s, I kind of strayed away from it. I think once I have a family I'll be back into it.

Lizzy Caplan

#21. I suppose the nearest equivalent to a bar mitzvah in terms of emotional build-up would probably not even be one's wedding day, but one's coronation.

Maureen Lipman

#22. Theo, Celery doesn't think you should invite Lulu to your hypothetical Bar Mitzvah.

Gitty Daneshvari

#23. I'm not a boy now. I'm a man, I hope. I hope I've had my artistic bar mitzvah somewhere.

Jeremy Piven

#24. I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.

Billy Crystal

#25. I don't remember much about my bar mitzvah. The only thing I remember - I killed! That's what I remembered. Nobody could follow me at my bar-mitzvah. It was over when I was done.

Andy Kindler

#26. Clear, crisp, and compelling ... Mitzvah Girls is a thoughtful look at the world of Jewish girls who grow up in 21st-century America, but don't really.

David Wolpe

#27. My bat mitzvah portion is about many things, but I think it is primarily about who we are wholly there for, and how that, more than anything else, defines our identity.

Jonathan Safran Foer

#28. My parents' convictions, when it came to discipline, were not very strong. For my bar mitzvah, I gave out a mix tape of '90s grunge - if you got it now, you would think it was the 'Singles' soundtrack.

Adam Pally

#29. You can find old Jewish newspapers from Detroit that have my promotional ad in them. It was a totally insane time in my life. Paul Rudd was also a bar mitzvah emcee, you know? It was like being a local rock star in Detroit.

James Wolk

#30. I did go to cheder and was a bar mitzvah. We were members of an Orthodox synagogue, although we were not religious. My grandfather was Polish. He came to Ireland in the '30s.

Lenny Abrahamson