Barman's Quotes

#1. As the barman's hand rose from beneath the bar, Cabal was filled with a presentiment and a strange foreboding that he hadn't felt since the last time he'd watched the nightmare corpse city of R'lyeh rise, effulgent with the ineffable and fetid with fish, rise from the depths of the Pacific.

Jonathan L. Howard

#2. An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Frank Carson

#3. The barman reeled for a moment, hit by a shocking, incomprehensible sense of distance. He didn't know what it meant, but he looked at Ford Prefect with a new sense of respect, almost awe.

Douglas Adams

#4. Harry had the impression that even the barman was listening in. He was wiping the same glass with the filthy rag; it was becoming steadily dirtier.

J.K. Rowling

#5. Avoid using cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs as alternatives to being an interesting person.

Marilyn Vos Savant

#6. When I work I feel more alive than under any other circumstances. There's not an 'I love you' in the world that can match it. I feel safe, excited, at peace, erotic, centered. Nothing can touch me.

Vivian Gornick

#7. What's that, forgone conclusion then you reckon, sir?' said the barman. 'Arsenal without a chance?'
'No, no,' said Ford, 'it's just that the world's about to end.

Douglas Adams

#8. The barman nodded and looked around for the elf. "Thought he'd be with you. Where've you left him?" "He's dead," said Harry. "Bellatrix Lestrange killed him.

J.K. Rowling

#9. These kids [of the current generation] have no fear of technology ... sort of like I have no fear of a refrigerator.

Don Tapscott

#10. To deny people of their human rights is to challenge their very humanity. To impose on them a wretched life of huger and deprivation is to dehumanize them. But such has been the terrible fate of all black persons in our country under the system of apartheid.

Nelson Mandela

#11. What's that thing when someone gets a knock on the head and suddenly can't remember anything about himself?'
Death,' said the barman, his face a mask of disapproval.

Steve Aylett

#12. The barman sidled toward them out of a back room. He was a grump-looking old man with a great deal of a long gray hair and a beard. He was tall and thin and looked vaguely familiar to Harry.

J.K. Rowling

#13. My dandy voice makes the most anti-choice granny's panties moist,

MC Paul Barman

#14. We talked to each other as you'd talk to a stranger you'd met while drunk after the barman calls for last orders, sure you wouldn't remember the other's face in the morning. (69)

Elina Hirvonen

#15. I just rocked the eye chart,
So if you can't see it, now you know it by heart.

MC Paul Barman

#16. Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.

Terry Pratchett

#17. Good evening," said the barman. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" "Because Poe wrote on both?

Jasper Fforde

#18. I think Michigan keeps you sane and on an even keel through the ups and downs. In Michigan, I do fireworks, shovel snow and live life.

Jeff Daniels

#19. A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

Tommy Cooper

#20. I found college awkward: another teacher, same old chalkboard.
I felt I was shifting backward, when I expected to shoot forward.

MC Paul Barman

#21. WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN? "How many drinks have you had?" FORTY-SEVEN. "Just about anything, then," said the barman

Terry Pratchett

#22. The uncomfortable truth is that we all enjoyed the party far too much to query where all the booze was coming from. Now we seem intent on lynching the barman for letting us get drunk and attacking the Government for letting us get a hangover.

Sean O'Grady

#23. I had gone to New York with no plan at all. I did a lot of jobs - barman, teacher, security guard, postman and construction worker - and I was meeting many eccentric characters, and they were saying funny things, which I always wrote down.

Adrian McKinty

#24. If you *think* you think outside the box, you're trapped in one.

MC Paul Barman

#25. Haven't you ever heard of an artist's muse?" the barman asked. "They all seem to either have one or want one. Me, all I want is peace and quiet.

Louise Penny

#26. I'll let a mystery gas out of my blistery ass
Just to disrupt the misery of history class.

MC Paul Barman

#27. A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

Bill Bailey

#28. The past times that you think were good, are good because they are not yours here and now.

Augustine Of Hippo

#29. I've been an engineer, barman, skip lorry driver, coalman, boat window manufacturer, contract grass cutter and builder.

Neal Asher