Top 40 Bagel Quotes
#1. If I were to be honest, I'm probably fifty percent bagel. Okay, fine, sixty percent.
Christy Hall
#2. I got up at exactly 6:15 a.m., showered, and did ten minutes of yoga. Then I had a continental breakfast with freshly squeezed orange juice, half a bagel with goat cheese, and a green smoothie, all
Rachel Renee Russell
#3. I worked at a hot dog place, a bagel place, the Jersey Store and the hottest fashion joint around. I was getting too famous to work there anymore. I was almost showing up as a joke. I made $2,000 on my show the previous night and I'm going to go shopping during my five-hour shift.
Wale
#4. Romanians have a saying, 'Not every dog has a bagel on its tail.' It means that not all streets are paved with gold. When I began my career, I just wanted to do cartwheels.
Nadia Comaneci
#5. I definitely invented the everything bagel. There's no doubt. It's undeniable truth. It's one of those things that's 100% true, 50% of the time.
Joe Bastianich
#6. Bagel in the morning is the ultimate breakfast for me; they're just good.
Lee DeWyze
#7. As I swallowed the last bite of my bagel, my fear gave way to anger. "And just what the hell did he mean by 'my erratic behavior'?"
Ian just looked at me. Yasha and Calvin stared straight ahead and didn't say a word.
I glared at all of them.
Lisa Shearin
#8. We do it early like Cheerios and a bagel
Nicki Minaj
#9. I was sitting on a bench having a bagel, but from where I was both jogging and sculng looks good to me.
Sam
Aaron Sorkin
#10. If my love were a bagel, I'd put cream cheese on it. But it's not a bagel, so I just put cheddar on top. Would you like to try a sample?
Jarod Kintz
#11. I never dreamed that the little ditties I wrote about annoying customers or bagel recipes would turn into a full-length musical comedy. But a very wise person told me to 'write what you know'. So I did.
Rob McClure
#12. A kind of emptiness existed in the center of my bagel; really
it was just the hole that's in the middle
of all bagels; 'i need to go read my blog
to find out what my politics are
Tao Lin
#14. Then I had a continental breakfast with freshly squeezed orange juice, half a bagel with goat cheese, and a green smoothie, all served on a silver tray by my maid, Olga, right in my bedroom.
Rachel Renee Russell
#15. This was one of those mid-thirties moments when you take a look at the stale, half-chewed bagel your life has become and kiss jealousy on its smokey mouth.
Steve Almond
#18. The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
George Carlin
#19. My sister married a German. He complained he couldn't get a good
bagel back home. I said: 'Well, whose fault is that?'
Emo Philips
#20. Just out of curiosity, can an immortal choke to death on a bagel? (Francesca)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#21. I actually put peanut butter on my bagel. I really like peanut butter and I like to ruin the bagel. You know what's even crazier that I do sometimes? I do cinnamon raisin bagels with peanut butter. It is really, really out there.
Evan Peters
#22. A gluten-free diet still allows you access to almost every fruit and vegetable, a variety of grains and legumes, your pick of dairy products, fresh meats and fish and a whole slew of special gluten-free delights to satisfy your pretzel-bagel-muffin-doughnut craving.
Daphne Oz
#23. Before I eat your bagel, we should be formally introduced, don't you think?
Alice Clayton
#24. No, you're not like me. You're better. A better person, a better goddamn everything. Now, eat your breakfast. And if you open your mouth to say you aren't everything I know you are, I'll stuff that bagel in it. Plain. Without cream cheese.
Healthy food
the ultimate threat.
Rob Thurman
#25. When I was 17, I worked at a bagel shop - I ate so many! I was also in all the school musicals, which we rehearsed for during the afternoons.
Jenna Ushkowitz
#26. Songs are pretty easy. They are small, they are modular, they are about as big as a bagel. They are easy to build. Films are overwhelming in their magnitude and scope. By comparison, a lot of film directors wish they were writing songs because you can do it while getting your hair cut.
Tom Waits
#27. The bagel is a lonely roll to eat all by yourself because in order for the true taste to come out you need your family. One to cut the bagels, one to toast them, one to put on the cream cheese and the lox, one to put them on the table and one to supervise.
Gertrude Berg
#28. Paying attention is more important to reliability than moving slowly. Because he pays close attention, a Navy pilot can land a 40,000 lb. aircraft at 140 miles per hour on a pitching carrier deck, at night, more safely than the average teenager can cut a bagel.
Paul Graham
#29. A day unemployed is like a bagel- even when it's bad, it's still pretty good ...
CrimethInc.
#30. Do you have a lot of books?" I asked. Dad snorted as he slathered some cream cheese on his bagel. "Katherine's collection puts Amazon to shame.
Rysa Walker
#31. I'll eat the hell out of a bagel. That's what I do
Jade Puget
#32. An image of myself, in a year's time, passed in front of my eyes. Rolled. An image of a giant bagel with legs and arms fluttering about rolled in front of my eyes.
Orson De Witt
#33. Once I was coming down a street in Beverly Hills and I saw a Cadillac about a block long, and out of the side window was a wonderfully slinky mink, and an arm, and at the end of the arm a hand in a white suede glove wrinkled around the wrist, and in the hand was a bagel with a bite out of it.
Dorothy Parker
#34. I'll show Luke I can fit into the city. I'll show him I can be a true New Yorker. I'll go the gym, and then I'll eat a bagel, and I'll ... shoot someone, maybe?
Or maybe just the gym will be enough.
Sophie Kinsella
#35. I've got a nice car. I love my job. I've got a bagel store, and I have breakfast every morning with friends I grew up with. I've been in movies, I've written books - I don't know how that all happened.
Larry King
#36. You're somethin' else, Hel. Know that? Dodged the sea toad, got rescued off that damned comet, bisected ol' Bron Elgar like a bagel out there on Cravat ... How the hell you get away from those damn fish down in the Glory Hole? Man, you got more lives than a New York alleycat.
Julian May
#37. I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls!
Fanny Brice
#38. And that Bagel got enough exercise beforehand so that he'd act like a beagle instead of a banshee (for once).
Anonymous
#39. Runners are bouncing up and down at the curb waiting for lights to change. Cops are in coffee shops dealing with bagel deficiencies.
Thomas Pynchon
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