Answering Machine Quotes

#1. Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.

Janeane Garofalo

#2. Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."

Jim Gaffigan

#3. We've come a long way from having one land line that was forbidden to be answered during dinner. We had no answering machine, just a dad who barked, 'Who calls during dinner? If it's important, they'll call back.' He was right.

Regina Brett

#4. While she'd been drying her hair, she'd come up with a new message for her answering machine - "I'm out, deliberately avoiding your call" - and that simple burst of creativity had raised her spirits a bit.

Carrie Fisher

#5. It's great to just disappear, grab a suitcase, switch the answering machine on and just go somewhere else.

Dido Armstrong

#6. I meet the answering machine's small, steady stare. "What do you do when God tells you no?" I ask. But it doesn't answer me, so I undress for bed

Skyler White

#7. You wonder if God doesn't have an answering machine to screen out the prayers of the venal and the boring? And in which category has he placed you?

Tom Robbins

#8. I'm not good at texting because I'm an older generation, old school. And nobody ever listens to the answering machine anymore. It's terrible.

Igor Levit

#9. Some consciences are fitted with automatic answering machine that work very well. But I never got the technology under control

Romain Gary

#10. I don't even like hearing my own voice on an answering machine.

China Chow

#11. I'm definitely a child of the 21st century and I prefer texting to phone calls, but I would prefer an answering machine over all.

Brendan Dooling

#12. My favorite films, I would put my answering machine up to the television set and hit record. I'd tape my favorite movies and then I could go back and listen to them again. I only had the soundtrack, I didn't have the visuals. But I think it made me really pay attention to the soundtracks.

Mark Mothersbaugh

#13. I don't really have time to sit down and write. But when I think of a melody, I call up my answering machine and sing it, so I won't forget it.

Britney Spears

#14. I got an answering machine for my phone ... Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up ... they hear a recording of a busy signal.

Steven Wright

#15. In most cases, it is more satisfying to get a friend's answering machine and leave a cheery, tangible trace of your sincere commitment to the friendship than it is to engage in actual conversation.

Amy Krouse Rosenthal

#16. The crucial legacy of the personal computer is that anyone can write code for it and give or sell that code to you - and the vendors of the PC and its operating system have no more to say about it than your phone company does about which answering machine you decide to buy.

Jonathan Zittrain

#17. All the new technology seems redundant to me. I was quite happy with the United States mail service. And, I don't even have an answering machine, for God's sake.

Kurt Vonnegut

#18. I have a friend of mine who does me on his answering machine, and when I call him, I answer. It's pretty strange.

Christopher Walken

#19. They stamp the slush off their boots with autopilot eyes and answering-machine voices while they wait for their drug of choice - caffeine or nicotine or sugar - to kick in and render their bodies at least tolerably functional until the first break. Out

Fredrik Backman

#20. The void is ready to snatch you up like a Pac Man machine and Laskshmi is on vacation. You chant Sring - and you get her answering machine.

Frederick Lenz

#21. Texting is a lot like an answering machine. If you don't want to talk to somebody, it's like screening your calls. To me, it's a way of communication, but not one that I favor.

Pat Gillick

#22. I think about the automobile, I think about like, when I was a kid, you know, the invention of the answering machine, which I was like, 'Wow.' Or call waiting, which was, like, very big. It was a very big thing. Call waiting was a very big thing. And these incremental innovations happen constantly.

Ashton Kutcher

#23. Telephone message on his manager's answering machine shortly before dying of heroin overdose: I need help bad, man.

Jimi Hendrix

#24. When I was in third grade, I would run home - literally run home from school - and if I could make it in time, I could get home and the put the TV on in time to catch the answering machine message at the start of 'The Rockford Files.'

Greg Rucka

#25. I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.

Steven Wright

#26. No one is calling me. I can't check the answering machine because I have been here all this time. If I go out, someone may call while I'm out. Then I can check the answering machine when I come back in.

Lydia Davis

#27. I'm not an answering machine, I'm a questioning machine. If we have all the answers, how come we're in such as mess?

Douglas Cardinal

#28. I believe leaders should be questioning machine, rather than an answering machine.

Saji Ijiyemi

#29. Not saving you from this storm, mutant," he said. "Saving you for your later fate, we are."
His voice was weirdly inflected and metallic, like an automated answering machine.
"Oh, good. Yoda captured us," Fang whispered.

James Patterson

#30. I let it ring. I wanted to breathe for a few minutes, and I could think of nothing that couldn't wait. Besides, I had paid almost $50 for an answering machine. Let it earn its keep.

Jeff Lindsay

#31. He suddenly remembered the tape he had taken from Susan's answering machine, and hoped to God there wasn't anything more important in Gordon's message than ravings about rabbits.

Douglas Adams

#32. Like most people, you listen to yourself on the phone or an answering machine and you're like, 'Ugh.' So to do something with just your voice is hard.

Angelina Jolie

#33. In the apartment, the answering machine blinked fiercely, two gnats drag-raced around the apparently sweet, rotting hole of the kitchen drain, and life was difficult once again, and familiar, and a disappointment.

Meg Wolitzer

#34. I'm much better at saying something on the answering machine than texting.

Igor Levit

#35. She never answers during the day," Max explained. "She lets her machine pick up."
People like you are the reason other people get answering machines to begin with," Miles told him. "In fact, people like you are driving a lot of modern technology.

Richard Russo

#36. He continued. "Most of the time when we go to God, it's because we want something. If we get what we want, we turn and walk off, satisfied. If we don't get what we want, we get frustrated; we kick the machine and blame God for not answering our request."3

Diane Moody