Top 100 Alcoholic Quotes
#1. (The new boyfriend) knows I write every day for hours but has no idea that all I'm writing about is me. It seems wiser to let him think I'm an aspiring novelist instead of just an alcoholic with a year of sobriety who spends eight hours a day writing about the other 16.
Augusten Burroughs
#2. If you're an alcoholic or a drug addict or something, we flirt with death. We pull ourselves to the brink of destruction and if we're lucky we pull ourselves back. We all have that in us.
Anthony Hopkins
#3. As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them.
Robin Williams
#4. The "delirium tremens" of alcoholic drunkards has unmistakable symptoms, but that of those intoxicated with theories is easily confused with genius.
Samael Aun Weor
#5. It is ethanol that everyone is after when they drink alcoholic beverages. That is what gives us the euphoric feeling, and that is what all vendors of alcoholic drinks are selling.
Chris Prentiss
#6. Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!
Frankie Boyle
#7. The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids ... and when you're away from them, who needs it?.
Phyllis Diller
#9. I soaked up the drink and it, in return, absorbed me.
Martin Pond
#10. The staunch, old soakers, on the other hand men who, if put on tap, would have yielded a red alcoholic liquor, by way of blood usually confined themselves to plain brandy-and-water, gin, or West India rum; and,
Nathaniel Hawthorne
#11. There's not alcoholic in the world who wants to be told what to do. Alcoholics are sometimes described as egomaniacs with inferiority complexes. Or, to be cruder, a piece of shit that the universe revolves around.
Anthony Kiedis
#12. Rumor had it that he was homosexual; in reality, in recent years, he was simply a garden-variety alcoholic.
Michel Houellebecq
#13. If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their clothes or dangling the cat out the window, they can sort of blend in. An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.
Amy Sedaris
#14. People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if a man does not drive, there is something wrong with him.
Art Buchwald
#15. My phone is on my bed, whispering in my ear like a bottle of scotch to a recovering alcoholic, while the rain continues cackling at me through my window
Katja Millay
#16. The reality is [in] any emotional situation, a compulsive eater eats or an alcoholic
drinks. What people misunderstand is that when you're a compulsive overeater,
you don't just eat when things are bad. You eat when you feel anything.
Jeff Garlin
#17. I once read a book by a former alcoholic where she described giving oral sex to two different men, men she'd just met in a restaurant on a busy London high street. I read it and thought, I'm not that bad. This is where the bar is set.
Paula Hawkins
#18. As you head into adulthood, June, you may occasionally encounter oversize exotic beverages of an alcoholic nature. I felt it was my duty to acquaint you with these potentially hazardous drinks.
Carol Rifka Brunt
#19. My family tends to be pretty alcoholic and drug-addicted.
Anne Lamott
#20. The federal government cannot maintain a budget surplus any more than an alcoholic can leave a fresh bottle of whiskey untouched in the cupboard.
Ron Paul
#21. I am not your victim because you are not a predator any more than a bottle of scotch stalks an alcoholic.
Sue William Silverman
#22. Yes, you'd make a great partner for him. What with the embezzling and the adultery and the drinking. That's what every man wants in a wife - a vaguely alcoholic, fornicating thief.
Eleanor Brown
#23. He was only the second or third in his sprawling family (their religion, Skip once said, was Irish Alcoholic) to ever go to college. Clan
Stephen King
#24. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
George Carlin
#25. I am a vegetarian as well as a passionate anti-alcoholic, because I can thus make better use of my brain.
Thomas A. Edison
#26. Never Refuse Wine. It is an odd but universally held opinion that anyone who doesn't drink must be an alcoholic.
P. J. O'Rourke
#27. His mother had hated him for looking after her, then hated him for leaving. Five years living with an alcoholic woman and no one had thanked him. If there was such a thing as the moral high ground it was surely he who occupied it.
Mark Haddon
#28. Freedom doesn't come through banning; freedom lies in mastering self-control.
Beem Weeks
#29. I never took amphetamines again - despite sometimes-intense longings for them (the brain of an addict or an alcoholic is changed for life; the possibility, the temptation, of regression never go away).
Oliver Sacks
#30. I require something so horrifically alcoholic that it makes livers tremble with fear and run for their lives when its name is uttered.
Seanan McGuire
#31. But I'm not a saint yet. I'm an alcoholic. I'm a drug addict. I'm homosexual. I'm a genius.
Truman Capote
#32. It's just like an alcoholic to think he's doing the Zombie Apocalypse wrong.
Michele W. Miller
#33. Not to mention, we're using you for bait. (Syn)
Are you that drunk? (Nykyrian)
What? I wasn't supposed to tell her that? (Syn)
I'm bait? (Kiara)
No, you're not bait. Ignore the alcoholic whose view of reality is distorted by his brain-damaged hallucinations. (Nykyrian)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#34. Avoid triggers. If you're an alcoholic, stay out of bars. If you're a depressed or impulsive shopper, don't go shopping. When you have to, go in with a list, rush in, and rush out. If you watch too much television, don't sit in your favorite chair. In fact, move it (or the TV) to another room.
Richard O'Connor
#35. An alcoholic has a personality change after a drink or two, but a drunk can drink as much as he wants. I'm a drunk.
Oliver Sacks
#36. If I've made any "progress" it's that now I know I'll be an alcoholic till the day I die, and that is both my biggest cross and my greatest blessing.
Heather King
#37. Once I know I'm an alcoholic then it is my obligation, duty to see what I can do about healing myself.
Malachy McCourt
#38. A big, friendly-looking man approaches me. "Hey, I'm Bobby," he says with a thick Baltimore accent, " ... and I'm an alcoholic.
Augusten Burroughs
#39. So popular is beer, the world's best-selling alcoholic drink, that it is often taken for granted. Yet scientific analysis shows that a glass of beer has within it as many aromas and flavors as fine wine. Not everyone understands this, but an increasing number of people do.
Michael Jackson
#40. He never cared too much for parties or people, but misanthropy could easily be cured by several alcoholic drinks.
Daniel J. Rice
#42. It's strange. You never start out life with the intention of becoming a bankrupt or an alcoholic or a cheat and a thief. Or a liar.
Raymond Carver
#43. Yep, Gin and Brandi. Call me crazy, but naming your daughters after alcoholic beverages is just asking for trouble.
Kelley Armstrong
#44. I definitely think we should not serve alcoholic beverages at the lunch break.
McLean Stevenson
#45. Oh, because you're an alcoholic." Only when I heard those words did it filter through my own denial. Only then did I gain understanding.
David W. Earle
#46. I had to accept that I was an alcoholic, that was the main thing. I think you've got to. But I try not say that I'm an alcoholic. I prefer to say that it's a disease I've got.
Paul Gascoigne
#47. Back in 1990, there were fewer than 20 wineries in and around Paso Robles, a farming community midway between San Francisco and Los Angeles. Most of the wines produced there were rustic, highly tannic and alcoholic, with little charm or finesse.
Robert M. Parker Jr.
#48. It is the unbroken testimony of all history that alcoholic liquors have been used by the strongest, wisest, handsomest, and in every way best races of all times.
George Saintsbury
#49. Why were drunks, almost always, persons of talent, personality, lovable qualities, gifts, brains, assets of all kinds (else why would anyone care?); why were so many brilliant men alcoholic?
Charles Jackson
#50. Ryan, I require something so horrifically alcoholic that it makes livers tremble with fear and run for their lives when its name is uttered," I said solemnly.
Seanan McGuire
#51. I believe you vere an alcoholic, Sir Samuel."
"No," said Vimes, completely taken aback, "I was a drunk. You have to be richer than I was to
be an alcoholic.
Terry Pratchett
#52. As a lover or a dipsomaniac, I've no doubt of your being a most fascinating specimen. But as a combiner of forms, you must honestly admit it, you're a bore.
Aldous Huxley
#53. Seriously," Ben said. "This guy sounds like an alcoholic Kermit the Frog with throat cancer
Anonymous
#54. With his mouth open, he gave off that alcoholic smell that you get from an old brandy cask when you take out the bung.
Emile Zola
#55. With alcoholic ritual, the whole point is generosity. If you open a bottle of wine, for heaven's sake have the grace to throw away the damn cork.
Christopher Hitchens
#57. Randy stared into the glass he held in his hand, gazing into its cobra eyes. A double shot of thirty-year-old single malt whisky. You can't be an alcoholic when you only drink top shelf. Right?
Ted Magnuson
#58. Trying to solve the problem by creating more debt is analogous to trying to stop being an alcoholic by going on a bender down at the corner bar.
John L. Casti
#59. An alcoholic is someone you don't like, who drinks as much as you do.
Dylan Thomas
#60. My characters will happily march off a cliff if it is in them to do so, but may the gods help me if I write that the character is an alcoholic when they are not. They will fight me at every turn and it is their domain. A writer cannot win against a stubborn character.
Thomm Quackenbush
#61. I was an alcoholic, for sure. It became a problem steadily over the course of six years.
Jordan Knight
#62. Kelso's hangover had gone, to be replaced by that familiar phase of post-alcoholic euphoria - always in the past, his most productive time of day - a feeling that alone was enough to make getting drunk worthwhile.
Robert Harris
#63. When I was a practicing alcoholic, I was unbelievable. One side effect was immense suspicion: I'd come off tour like Inspector Clouseau on acid. 'Where's this cornflake come from? It wasn't here before.
Ozzy Osbourne
#64. Suiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the soul?'
'Oh, rather!'
'What do you do about it?'
'I generally take a couple of cocktails.
P.G. Wodehouse
#65. I may have the genetic coding that Im inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way.
Rick Perry
#66. At the time, my 6-year-old kept thinking my character's name was "Sam Alone," which is kind of brilliant. The funny came out of Sam's sad core: the alcoholic, the sex addict, the person who thinks he's God's gift.
Ted Danson
#67. Bad days my memory functions no better than an out-of-focus kaleidoscope, but other days me recall is painfully perfect.
Mordecai Richler
#68. Human beings are like the screwed-up children of alcoholic parents in that way, picking up the pieces afterward and trying to make up reasons why.
Joe Schreiber
#70. I don't know how I made those movies. I went out every single night, I smoked pot every single day. I drank. We did everything, but I never became a drug addict or an alcoholic. Other friends are dead, many of them. So many people in this retrospective ... in Female Trouble, almost everyone is dead.
John Waters
#71. Ruby poked at her rice, her mind racing. Perhaps he'd mistaken her for someone who had done a massage course or was qualified to give spriritual advice. She could only give advice on spirits, and only then if they were alcoholic.
Lia Weston
#73. I remember, when I was about ten years old, working out that I would be thirty-six in the year 2000. It seemed so far away, so old, so unreal. And here I am, a fucked, crazy, anorexic-alcoholic-childless beautiful woman. I never dreamed it would be like this.
Tracey Emin
#74. When I finally caught up with Abraham Trahearne, he was drinking beer with an alcoholic bulldog named Fireball Roberts in a ramshackle joint just outside of Sonoma, California, drinking the heart right out of a fine spring afternoon.
James Crumley
#75. I've always believed it right for young people to drink. Not to be alcoholic of course, that is a passive state of being, not a positive action. But it is good to drink to excess.
Stephen Fry
#76. The alcoholic retains the ability to condemn his addiction and advise those not subject to it to avoid succumbing to the liquid poison. But the cocaine addict likes proselytizing; thus, instead of constituting a tangible warning, every victim of the drug acts as a source of infection.
Pitigrilli
#77. For a long time I felt I had done a very brave thing. There is nothing more boring for an intelligent woman than to spend endless amounts of time with small children. I felt I wasn't the best person to bring them up. I would have ended up an alcoholic or a frustrated intellectual like my mother.
Doris Lessing
#78. But what ultimately made Yates the scourge of copy editors was his simple aversion to criticism; any emendation in his manuscript, be it a single semicolon, would cause dark alcoholic brooding, which would finally erupt in long, hectoring, semicoherent phone calls.
Blake Bailey
#79. ... Finally, although Tennent's Super Strong lager, White Lightning, and for the rare rich alcoholic Stella Artois are perfectly acceptable drinks, could you please come up with something less damaging? I think lighter fuel is better for you and contains fewer chemicals.
Tom Reynolds
#80. Most bad books get that way because their authors are engaged in trying to justify themselves. If a vain author is an alcoholic, then the most sympathetically portrayed character in his book will be an alcoholic. This sort of thing is very boring for outsiders.
Stephen Vizinczey
#81. I do like beer, but lately I've started drinking non-alcoholic beer and I like the taste of it and I don't get the alcohol, so that's a good alternative also.
Mike Ditka
#82. When people lack true culture or are devoid of innovative ideas, they speak about wine, various brands of alcoholic beverages, or the quality of soap.
Dimitris Mita
#83. I am a raging alcoholic, but I don't want my kids to do the same.
Ozzy Osbourne
#84. I remember seeing Amy Sedaris in a stint where she played somebody's alcoholic mother in one scene and in the next she was Ross Perot. I remember thinking she was so awesome.
Stephnie Weir
#85. I've often wanted to play the victim, or somebody who makes terrible choices. I would love to play the alcoholic mother who horribly lets down her children. That's a great morally imperiled role.
Lucy Lawless
#86. The golden sunshine of Italy congealed into tears. Here's to alcoholic brotherhood ... much more suited to the frail human soul, if any, than any other sort.
Robert A. Heinlein
#87. My mom's Jewish and my dad's Irish Catholic alcoholic, so I whine on the inside.
Margaret Smith
#88. He'd heard of elvenblossom wine. It was known for its stultifying bouquet of fruit blossoms and the battle-axe power of its alcohol content. Only those of elven blood could stomach the sweet stuff, he'd heard, and it was the alcoholic equivalent of being kicked in the head by a centaur.
Mark Anthony
#89. With a leer of mingled sweetness and slyness; with one eye on the future, one on the bride, and an arch expression in her face, partly spiritual, partly spirituous, and wholly professional and peculiar to her art; Mrs Gamp rummaged in her pocket again [ ... ]
Charles Dickens
#90. One of the cruelest judgments sustained against me is that I have spoken out as a recovered alcoholic to stimulate my acting career.
Mercedes McCambridge
#91. He would have lied to himself as facilely as an alcoholic lies to himself to justify the 10 a.m. tumbler of vodka : it may be early here, but in Baghdad it's almost evening.
Peter Benchley
#92. I learned many interesting things from Delia: for example, that she and Gulya had both married alcoholics, but Delia's alcoholic had taken all her money, whereas Gulya had managed her alcoholic well and taken all his money.
Elif Batuman
#93. An alcoholic father, poverty, my own juvenile diabetes, the limited English my parents spoke - although my mother has become completely bilingual since. All these things intrude on what most people think of as happiness.
Sonia Sotomayor
#94. You know, Volkov, your talents as a drinker are only partly utilised. With such a vast wealth of alcoholic experience, you could earn a handsome living by writing drinking songs and become illustriously prosperous.
Stanley Goldyn
#95. Watching me play, Stormy had once said that if I were to become a regular bowler, I would spend far more time in the gutter than would the average alcoholic hobo.
Dean Koontz
#96. He had every intention of becoming an alcoholic. It keeps you busy. Alcohol occupies every thought and provides a goal in times of despair: getting better.
Martin Page
#97. Paul Desmond sounds like a female alcoholic.
Eddie Condon
#98. I chuckled like Aldo Ray. If I had to endure his l'homme du monde act, he had to suffer my jaded alcoholic private eye.
James Crumley
#99. What can I say, I'm an alcoholic. It's what I do.
Ron Wood
#100. Wine is the most noble and beneficial of alcoholic drinks. Wine is for the sedentary whose work is thinking. Natural wines have been used without drunkenness by the millions of human beings for ages. They supply with iron, tannin and vitamins.
Arthur Brisbane
