After Sex Funny Quotes

#1. Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? 'Damn I got to get the hell out of here! What was I thinking!'

Dave Attell

#2. I can't stay. I have to go train for a while. You can come with me if you want." He kisses my nose as I laugh up at him.
"Honey, I don't run. If you ever see me running, you'd better start running too 'cause that means that something is chasing me.

Kristen Proby

#3. It's a funny thing sensing someone else's sex drive. After a while, you get to mistaking it for your own.

Haruki Murakami

#4. Although I deeply love oceans, deserts and other wild landscapes, it is only mountains that beckon me with that sort of painful magnetic pull to walk deeper and deeper into their beauty. They keep me continuously wanting to know more, feel more, see more.

Victoria Erickson

#5. Good, because if the guy isn't making you walk funny after sex, then probably isn't anything to write home to mom about.

J. Lynn

#6. A good, true, intense love is not complete without madness.

Paulo Coelho

#7. I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".

Rodney Dangerfield

#8. I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I dont see why I wouldnt. Im fair game, its not like Im that picky, youve seen the guys Ive dated. I like Swizz Beatz, just because I would like to yell out in bed, Swizz Beatz! Keep it coming!

Chelsea Handler

#9. Can I have this?" Iris asked in her honeydew voice, holding up one of the novels I'd brought her so that Amy could see the cover.
"Sorry, hot man is all out at the moment. We have some corpulent taxi driver and a slice of crazy cat-lady left, but we ran out of hot man hours ago.

Nicole Peeler

#10. I love the city and the people of Munich. I have many great friends there.

Steve Purdy

#11. Barefoot and pregnant. After the ruckus last night, I suppose I wouldn't be all that shocked if you managed it," Elijah muttered as Stunt passed him.

Stunt was officially in hell. It was like getting caught by his parents having sex. Worse...kinky sex.

Lyn Gala

#12. Your ... Your aura. It's ... amazing. It's shining. I mean, it always shines, but today ... Well I've never seen anything like it. I didn't expect that after everything that happened.'
I shifted around uncomfortably. If I lit up around Dimitri normally, what on earth happened to my aura post-sex?

Richelle Mead

#13. You think it's funny?" Shay said with annoyance.
"Yes." Her friend paused to get her laughter under control. "I'm sorry. It's just that you're the last person in the world I'd ever imagine marrying again after ol' Mr. Flaccid Flagpole.

Lindsey Brookes

#14. I don't know if I'll ever do it again or not, but frankly I don't really care.

Jack Nicklaus

#15. You're actually inside the surfboard ... you're inside the landscape around you and the ocean is surging, you get totally inside the moment and it's so intense that time disappears, you disappear ...

Nick Carroll

#16. There is no free expression when you have to pay extra to stand on the soap box.

Thor Benson

#17. The rockets and the satellites, spaceships that we're creating now, we're pollinating the universe.

Neil Young

#18. Writing is an incredibly lonely job.

R.A. Salvatore

#19. Quality is such an attractive banner that sometimes we think we can get away with just waving it, without doing the hard work necessary to achieve it.

Phil Crosby