Top 100 Titus's Quotes
#1. Only Aviva's long habit of taking the temperature of her own racism, of her biases and stereotypes about young black males (or about the iron-hard perdurance of their grandmothers) enabled Aviva to set aside, for the time being, her gut reaction - the boy was trouble - and admire Titus's stillness.
Michael Chabon
#2. You know what, man? I am going to literally - if (Palin) gets elected president, I am going to hang out on the grassy knoll all the time, just loaded and ready - because you know what? It's for my country. It's for my country. If I got to sacrifice myself, it's for my country.
Christopher Titus
#3. The only way to tell my Dad something is to write it on a note, and tie it to a brick, and throw it through a window. Of course, now Dad's armed with a brick.
Christopher Titus
#4. Divorce is just about change, you know. It's God saying, You need a change. And I'm going to make it so your bank account only has change.
Christopher Titus
#5. When I was seven, I watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest with my mom. When Jack Nicholson was strapped to the table getting electroshock treatment, my mom burst into tears. She said it reminded her of her life, and I was stunned, because I didn't know my mom had been nominated for an Oscar.
Christopher Titus
#6. I had a real job at fourteen years old. At seventeen, I was on my own. At twenty, I cut the liver out of a drifter and gave it to my father! 'Cause my dad's a drinker and I love my dad. And for eighty bucks, you can do anything in Mexico!
Christopher Titus
#7. Consider Palin for President? The most powerful job on earth? You don't give the dumb cheerleader the Uzi. That's in the Bible.
Christopher Titus
#8. I got divorced from my wife on June 6, 2006. Yeah, 6-6-06, which coincidentally, was when my wife turned into a demon spawned from Satan's anus. But for legal reasons, I have to call her, Kate.
Christopher Titus
#9. They call it torture when our guys put underwear on a guy's head, stripped him naked, put an egg between his buttcheeks and made him do jumping jacks. You know, if it can't get you into a fraternity at Chico State University, it's not torture.
Christopher Titus
#10. Sometimes, to help someone you love, you have to commit a felony. But, you don't want to go to prison for that. Hey, dude, what are you in for? Armed robbery? Murder? And then, you have to say, Love. And, that's definitely going to get you, you know, picked last for prison kick ball.
Christopher Titus
#11. The biggest danger is that actors become entirely too dependent on the idea of training. They think that if they continue to train and train and train, it's going to make them better.
Titus Welliver
#12. We know where a song's popularity starts, and we can watch it spread," Titus told me. Take, for example, Lorde, the out-of-nowhere sensation of 2013. Shazam's engineers can rewind time to trace the international contagion of her first single, "Royals,
Anonymous
#13. My mum was crazy. And her mum was crazy. And her mum's mum was crazy. Is it my turn? Am I going to live the rest of my life giggling at raindrops, wearing paper slippers? When I go to dinner with friends should I not use a fork 'cause I just might snap? Hey, you guys look great. How's the baby?
Christopher Titus
#14. Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies.
Christopher Titus
#15. We're ready for a real black President - someone like Jay-Z. Obama's fine, just not all black. He's our gateway Negro.
Christopher Titus
#16. Keda's oldness was the work of fate, alchemy. An occult agedness. A transparent darkness. A broken and mysterious grove. A tragedy, a glory, a decay. - Titus Groan
Mervyn Peake
#17. Nobody's really happy. And as soon as society realises that you can't trust anyone and that hardship is a natural part of existence, the sooner the therapists will realise that they are worthless! Sorry. They have worth deficit disorder!
Christopher Titus
#19. Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again ... that's exciting.
Christopher Titus
#20. All of Dad's relationships ended exactly the same: subpoena, beep of a moving van backing up the driveway, pile of his clothes burning on the front lawn.
Christopher Titus
#21. I'll find a day to massacre them all
And raze their faction and their family,
The cruel father and his traitorous sons,
To whom I sued for my dear son's life,
And make them know what 'tis to let a queen
Kneel in the streets and beg for grace in vain.
William Shakespeare
#22. Osama's dead. Why is the terror alert elevated or imminent? Why not chill? Can't I just fly, keep my shoes on and avoid X-ray-fueled testicular cancer?
Christopher Titus
#23. My dad's all I've ever had. When I was 3 and 4, my mom used to take me to bars. I understand why now - babysitters cost beer, beer and-a-half an hour.
Christopher Titus
#24. There's a picture of Christopher and the real Ken Titus and myself in my dressing room. He's a great guy, by the way. I just think the real Ken is just super. And he's so happy for his son's success.
Stacy Keach
#25. When you're born, you're pure. Unspoiled and trusting. Some say, it's the only time we're perfect. You're also born covered in blood and placenta. No one gets nostalgic about that.
Christopher Titus
#26. That's how it's done, you see. It's the same way people get horses out of burning buildings. When the whole world's on fire around you, you use a blindfold. Everyone needs someone like Titus for a blindfold.
Geraldine McCaughrean
#27. Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.
Christopher Titus
#28. There's something to be said for silence. --Titus Ray, Chapter 25
Luana Ehrlich
#29. Everybody has hope for the perfect love. Normal people are raised to believe that there's someone out there who's your soulmate, your best friend, your lover. My dad always told me that when you find that person, You gotta nail her!
Christopher Titus
#30. You don't give out trophies for losing. Trophies for sucking. That's a communist idea. You don't get a trophy for losing. You get a piece of pizza and you shut up. Trophies for losing? What the hell happened to us?
Christopher Titus
#31. Bad news has never been broken gently in my family. Because, breaking it gently takes a few extra seconds. And who's got that kinda time? Hey, we maybe failures, but we are very busy.
Christopher Titus
#32. There's one in every family. When the police calls in the middle of the night and says We've got a family members of yours under arrest and you know directly who it is. In my family we have seven of those ... And they are all my Mom!
Christopher Titus
#33. We don't have home movies in my family. We have people's exhibit A.
Christopher Titus
#34. Humans are born, weak and helpless. We're cursed with natural predators called parents. That's why the grandma was created. To protect us. Oh sure, she's old and frail. But she can kick your dad's ass.
Christopher Titus
#35. Fighting Dad's not a fight. Fighting dad is, Hi, you've just instigated your own mugging! Come on down!
Christopher Titus
#36. Here there is left a tenuous subterfuge, 875 which Anaxagoras seizes: think of things as mixtures of everything, all concealed but one that shows - the one that's mixed in largest measure and close to the surface and placed right at the top.
Titus Lucretius Carus
#37. But I don't think there has ever been anything written on the nature of violent man as deep and as thorough as Shakespeare's Titus. I think it puts all modern movies and modern exploitations of violence to shame.
Julie Taymor
#38. Obama says he's bringing 10,000 troops home. The Republicans are calling it a failed jobs program.
Christopher Titus
#39. Best of Death Valley Attraction: Zabriskie Point Runner-up: Titus Canyon 2nd Runner-up: The Racetrack 3rd Runner-up: Dante's View 4th Runner-up: Mesquite Flat Sand Dunes
Michael Joseph Oswald
#40. Love. It's God's greatest gift. He fills our world with it and makes sure we grow up with caring, supportive parents. I'm just kidding. Pain is God's greatest gift. Pain is God's way of saying, Hurts, don't it ? Well, go ahead. Say, me dammit again.
Christopher Titus
#41. Lady, if you laugh and you don't make a noise, you're a shaker, and it's freaking me out.
Christopher Titus
#42. I lost 28 pounds in my divorce ... because that's what a soul weighs.
Christopher Titus
#43. I swore I would never get involved in my dad's life. But then he started blowing it. So I had to get involved, you know, but he's my dad, I can't send him to his room or ground him or go to his first grade play and scream, Look at the fairy! I was a wood nymph.
Christopher Titus
#44. My father, never chooses me for anything. Unless he needs a human shield. Thirty years and all I am to him is a hunk of meat to block buck shot. Told you dad needed me. Who's the best man now?
Christopher Titus
#45. There's two approved methods for getting a pedicure for a guy. Number one, you use your own grinder or ... You have an eighteen year-old Vietnamese girl rub your feet and call you Joe and that's it!
Christopher Titus
#46. Martha Stewart's a convicted felon and they gave her another television show. What's next, the Scott Peterson Fishing Hour?
Christopher Titus
#47. You might be the scariest girl I've ever met," he told her.
"Let's not be dramatic," she said drily. "I'm the only girl you can remember ever meeting.
Sherry Thomas
#48. Everyone's a racist. It's the one thing that makes us all the same.
Christopher Titus
#49. I find that Americans are all in the middle somewhere, except for the extreme nuts, and extreme nuts on both sides are the loudest. And that's why it feels like we are polarized.
Christopher Titus
#50. My dad's full of encouragement and support. It just feels like abandonment and neglect.
Christopher Titus
#51. For though I were ignorant of the basic stuff, still, just from heaven's behavior, I would dare affirm, and assert on many other grounds, that gods most certainly never made the world 180 for you and me: it stands too full of flaws.
Titus Lucretius Carus
#52. If one good deed in all my life I did,
I do repent it from my very soul.
William Shakespeare
#53. I literally had a very articulate, though highly impaired, homeless man say to me, "Smokey! I love you! What's happening with Jacob?" Here's a guy living on the street, but he finds a way to watch Lost! And I'm looking at him, thinking, Your priorities are completely ass-backward!
Titus Welliver
#54. Clearly, this never happens, since each thing sprung of its own specific seed and parent, grows always true to type, as we observe. The process, of course, must follow clear-cut laws.
Titus Lucretius Carus
#55. To paraphrase Titus 3:3, we live as slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in chaos and envy, hassled by others and hassling one another. We are all very busy, but not with what matters
Kevin DeYoung
#56. For me, the greatest hurdle to success has always been failure.
Christopher Titus
#57. Pride is a great energizer for me. --Titus Ray, Chapter 1.
Luana Ehrlich
#58. The issue of fracking is a stick in the hornet's nest.
Titus Welliver
#59. We spilled onto the court to celebrate, but most of the guys were confused about how excited they were supposed to be. I mean, sure we won the tournament, but at the end of the day it was the NIT and being the best team in the NIT is like being the most attractive Michigan cheerleader.
Mark Titus
#60. Satan called - he's changed the sheets, fluffed the pillows and laid out the complimentary chocolate. Hell is ready for John Edwards.
Christopher Titus
#61. To begin, this thing he calls "homoeomeria" - take bones: you see, they're made of little bones, 835 wee, tiny ones; and from wee, tiny guts, guts are created; and blood comes into being when lots of little drops of blood foregather.
Titus Lucretius Carus
#62. To be successful in life, there are many hurdles you have to get over. For me, the biggest hurdle to success has always been failure. But, growing up, my Dad was always positive ... that I'd never amount to anything.
Christopher Titus
#63. Life, is easy. And if yours isn't, quit whining. Oh, wait. unless you're just a head amd then, you do have it pretty rough. I don't know how you roll out of bed every morning.
Christopher Titus
#64. The opposite is best. Whenever you're angry with someone, apply this maxim. I means doing the exact opposite of what your body's telling you to do. Believe me, it works miracles. Titus in Love in Lowercase
Francesc Miralles
#65. Japan is the perfect example of make plans, and watch God laugh.
Christopher Titus
#66. A craft can only have meaning when it serves a spiritual way.
Titus Burckhardt
#67. The yearbook voted me most likely to be scraped off an onramp by a puking fireman.
Christopher Titus
#68. I conceive there lies a clear rule in Titus that the elder women should instruct the younger and then I must have a time wherein I must do it.
Anne Hutchinson
#69. Sometimes, to help the people you love, you've gotta commit a felony.
Christopher Titus
#70. A Titus Andronicus catalog of threats beat at the door. They haunt my nightmares still.
David Mitchell
#73. Islamic jihadists making sacrifices tended to create gruesome headlines.--Titus Ray, Chapter 29
Luana Ehrlich
#74. The atoms in it must be used over and over again; thus the death of one thing becomes necessary for the birth of another.
Titus Lucretius Carus
#75. If within wood hide flame and smoke and ash then wood consists of things unlike itself.
Titus Lucretius Carus
#76. I have never had a problem with people not being able to understand the words and the meanings in Titus.
Julie Taymor
#77. A black widow loves her mate then kills him. A praying mantis loves her mate then eats him. Women love my dad, but he's too big to eat.
Christopher Titus
#78. The United States ranks 14th in the world in education. Even if we subtract Sarah Palin's test scores, it only bumps us to third. Damn you, Finland!
Christopher Titus
#79. The government favors the most diplomatic language. That's why any letter to them should always start with, "Dear turkeys and foul maggots ... "
Christopher Titus
#80. And my daughter's too smart. She gets it watching TV. She gets it. She's five. She gets it. I ... I have a smart kid; I don't want a smart kid. I'm gonna start feedin' her lead paint chips just to bring her down.
Christopher Titus
#81. After President Obama, President Rodriguez ... What's the worse that can happen? The border problem gets solved and the White House lawn looks better?
Christopher Titus
#82. Matter's basic elements are solid,
Completely so, and that they fly through time
Invincible, indestructible for ever.
Titus Lucretius Carus
#83. The towers fell, and the first thing that went through my head was my dad's voice: 'Well, you brought a new life into the world, and the world's over. Nice timing, numbnuts!
Christopher Titus
#84. Man's greatest wealth is to live on a little with contented mind; for little is never lacking.
Titus Lucretius Carus
#85. A lie is a lie ... unless your friends and family are in on it. Then it's a commonly held belief.
Christopher Titus
#86. My mum is in a mental hospital. There's a fine line between genius and insanity. Winston Churchill, Mozart, John Lennon. These people all had a touch of crazy that fuelled their brilliance. They were not locked up for it like my mum. Pft. Then again, Winston Churchill never tried to kill my dad.
Christopher Titus
#87. At the end of the Peterson trial, my daughter turns to me and she goes, 'Daddy, are you going to kill Mommy?' 'Oh, honey - that's up to mommy, isn't it?
Christopher Titus
#88. Whenever you're pissed off, just remember that it's better than being pissed on.
Christopher Titus
#89. Vengeance, is good. You give it, you get it. It's all part of what makes us human. So thank god for vengeance. Otherwise, the human race might as well just roll over and let another species for a while. I think it will be the cats. Watch 'em. They're cooking up something.
Christopher Titus
#90. A vacation from school should not mean hunger for our children.
Dina Titus
#91. The day I'm in England performing, English security let a man in a Batman suit climb Buckingham Palace. I felt so much safer ... Batman was on the wall of Buckingham Palace for five hours. Wouldn't happen in America - three minutes: dead Batman.
Christopher Titus
#92. Assumptions can get you killed. --Titus Ray, Chapter 2
Luana Ehrlich
#93. Terrorists, oh I'm sorry, Fox News tells us it's all illegal immagration's fault but it's not their fault, it's ours.
Christopher Titus
#94. They had a big court battle over who got to keep me. Mom won; she made me live with Dad.
Christopher Titus
#95. I've never minded finding out what others thought I didn't know. Titus Ray, Chapter 3
Luana Ehrlich
#96. Hey! D'you guys hear Dr. Atkins died? Slipped on some ice, hit his head, died on life support. The man who invented the all-meat diet ... died a vegetable. That's a damn good joke. But that joke's like a Toyota Camry - reliable, not inspiring.
Christopher Titus
#97. If the world is the product of nothing but natural forces and natural law, divine intervention is impossible.
Titus Lucretius Carus
#98. Remember how Paul and Barnabas urged this upon the Jews of Antioch, 'persuading them to continue in the grace of God' (Acts 13:43; Gal. 5:4; Titus 2:11; 1 Peter 5:12).
Horatius Bonar
#99. Many massacres have happened when people yell surprise! Pearl Harbor. The Tet Offensive. My uncle's 50th birthday party. I was there, man! How many more people gotta die?
Christopher Titus
#100. If you ask my dad for help ... he'll help. Like a vulture helps an over-run armadillo on a Texas highway. One peck at the time.
Christopher Titus
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
