Top 35 Teaching Humor Quotes
#1. I am in the Master of Professional Writing program teaching Humor Writing, Literary and Dramatic.
Shelley Berman
#2. He made it sound like he was teaching me the ABC's and knew there was no way I'd ever make it to Q.
Devon Monk
#3. Jack Woodson is currently living and working in Dallas, TX. He has forty children, and all of them have different mothers.
John Pearson
#4. To fit the individual to live and to function in the institutional life of his day.
Max Braithwaite
#5. Well, when The Black Keys make a record, I never really feel limited. To me, it seems the possibilities are always endless. The big difference has been playing live and being able to recreate every little part of the record.
Dan Auerbach
#6. Oh, this is going to be fun; he actually thinks he's teaching me something.
J.A. Redmerski
#7. You could say that Facebook is doing a far more effective job than religion at teaching us to 'love thy neighbor,' connecting us with random strangers and 'friends' from distant lands.
Gemini Adams
#8. Also, I am not sure what you are teaching in your classroom, but Seb came home the other week talking about a healthy eating pyramid. I had to explain to him that pyramids are made of stone and therefore not edible, so I would appreciate your not filling his head with these fanciful notions.
David Thorne
#9. Phillip cleared his throat and got to his feet. I need some fresh air. All this postbattle rah-rah-we-lived sentimentality is a bit cloying.
Jennifer Estep
#10. There's nothing sillier in the world than a teacher telling you don't do it after you already did it.
Frank McCourt
#11. I don't ask why patients lie, I just assume they all do.
-Greg House
House
#12. Eragon looked back at him, confused. "I don't understand."
"Of course you don't," said Brom impatiently. "That's why I'm teaching you and not the other way around.
Christopher Paolini
#13. We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
#14. Mathematics education is much more complicated than you expected, even though you expected it to be more complicated than you expected.
Edward Griffith Begle
#15. Webern was a kind of 'Kamchatka of music,' an unknown country of music. That's true; for me and people of my generation, he was a radical - you couldn't be more radical than he was.
Pierre Boulez
#17. Many things went on at Unseen University and, regrettably, teaching had to be one of them. The faculty had long ago confronted this fact and had perfected various devices for avoiding it. But this was perfectly all right because, to be fair, so had the students.
Terry Pratchett
#18. The way I saw it, if my students were willing to pretend I was a teacher, the least I could do was return the favor and pretend that they were writers.
David Sedaris
#20. Catholic schools carry out a great mission, to serve God by building knowledge and character ... By teaching the word of God, you prepare your students to follow a path of virtue.
George W. Bush
#21. Never talk back to a teacher. Teachers are like God. Actually, teachers are God's boss.
Deborah Wiles
#22. More often than not, you will never be judged by your intentions because the world can't read minds and very few will know the heart of a person they have not given time to know personally.
Shannon L. Alder
#23. God desires from us more fidelity to the little things that he places in our power than ardor for great things that do not depend upon us.
Francis De Sales
#24. Reading a book is one mind playing with another.
A. J. Gallant
#25. I think people should elect a cat person. If you elect a dog person, you elect someone who wants to be loved. If you elect a cat person, you elect someone who wants to serve.
Stephen Harper
#26. The expression 'Those who can't do, teach' is a curious one, because if you look at the world , you'll see that teachers aren't particularly worse at doing things than anyone else, so perhaps the expression might be better worded as 'nobody can do anything
Lemony Snicket
#27. As the old saying goes: if you teach a man to fish, he will feed himself for a lifetime. But if you just give him a fishing pole, he'll have to teach himself.
Zechariah Barrett
#28. To be something, to be himself, and always at one with himself, a man must act as he speaks, must know what course he ought to take, and must follow that course with vigour and persistence.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
#29. Cause I'm still hood, Hollywood couldn't change me.
Nicki Minaj
#30. I created a new marketing slogan for Teaching Snapping Turtles:
"Read this. You're not gonna like it.
Jonathan Heatt
#31. My first semester I had only nine students. Hoping they might view me as professional and well prepared, I arrived bearing name tags fashioned in the shape of maple leaves.
David Sedaris
#32. The opportunity to lecture had restored my good humor.
Barbara Mertz
#33. Smartass Disciple: Master, that guy's teaching is somehow annoying me.
Master of Stupidity: Only as long as you stay tuned for pissed-off channel.
Toba Beta
#35. It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?
Terry Pratchett
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