Top 100 Sexy Humor Quotes

#1. No day should be without romance

Dana Bennett

Sexy Humor Quotes #601660
#2. I wanna punch you in the throat right now. Do you think that's sexy?

K. Langston

Sexy Humor Quotes #672370
#3. Stop," he murmured, or at least that's what he meant to say. It came out sounding more like "Yes," which probably wasn't the same thing at all.

Tawna Fenske

Sexy Humor Quotes #667684
#4. WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS? THE MAN'S A VAMPIRE!
Yeah, but he's a really, REALLY sexy one.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Sexy Humor Quotes #663147
#5. You looking for a firsthand demonstration of my heterosexual prowess, cowgirl? Because I'm more than up for a challenge.

Lorelei James

Sexy Humor Quotes #654579
#6. You know what's not sexy?" I pushed his hand away. "Barbies. Barbies are not sexy."
"But I bought condoms," he said. "I even practiced putting one on!"
The lost-puppy look on his face made me smile. "I'm proud of you, Boner Man, but that's not enough.

Laurie Halse Anderson

Sexy Humor Quotes #649523
#7. I'd been just like her, a youngster with something to say, a rebel through street art, leaving my mark on public buildings, to taunt the government and humor the public

Kenya Wright

Sexy Humor Quotes #648420
#8. I find intelligence sexy. I find a sense of humor sexy. I find sensitivity sexy.

Nicole Appleton

Sexy Humor Quotes #646737
#9. If I were being honest with myself, he lit a blaze, not just a blush, but that's too much reality for me to admit.

S.L. Scott

Sexy Humor Quotes #645274
#10. I see the beginning, I see the end. And in the middle I just hope I don't fall on my ass to much

Shehanne Moore

Sexy Humor Quotes #641123
#11. He circled around me, whispering in my ear. "I'm O positive. I'm everyone's type.

Dannika Dark

Sexy Humor Quotes #636542
#12. E kissed me right on my gonna-see-God.

Alice Clayton

Sexy Humor Quotes #633707
#13. He takes my mouth with such fervor, my heart pounds harder than after I've just run for miles. My legs now feel like over cooked noodles.

A.R. Von

Sexy Humor Quotes #630163
#14. Rampant male predator'," Simon said, shaking his head. "Blatant, Archer."

"Would you prefer 'alpha male'?" Jeremy asked. "I do occasionally feel the urge to roll over and expose my belly in submission, after all - "

"Christ, don't do it now, I'm wiped out.

M. Chandler

Sexy Humor Quotes #706884
#15. I had a dream that Zac Effron showed up at my door shirtless with a bouquet of flowers..yep, I'm still waiting on that one to come true.

Starley Ard

Sexy Humor Quotes #596913
#16. Did you get a secret thrill out of sitting across from me, eating a civilized dinner while pretending not to know you were teasing my cock?" Rate St. Sebastian

Samanthe Beck

Sexy Humor Quotes #567664
#17. One slice of key lime pie. Two forks.' I felt Todd's hand on my arm. 'You'll thank me later.' No doubt I would.

Ophelia London

Sexy Humor Quotes #537309
#18. Lately, my sexual fantasies revolved around once again having a landlord. Looks, age, and hygiene didn't matter, as long as he had a tool belt and said, Don't worry, I'll fix it.

J.A. Konrath

Sexy Humor Quotes #531925
#19. A woman who knows that she doesn't have to get all decked out to look good is sexy. A woman who can make you feel smart with her conversation skills is also sexy. I believe the sense of humor is important.

Benedict Cumberbatch

Sexy Humor Quotes #501385
#20. They all think men are obsolete. useless. as if we're just some sexual appendix.

Chuck Palahniuk

Sexy Humor Quotes #496626
#21. She has all the right equipment to look sexy, pretty even. She just overdoes everything-like she's a coloring-book women who got scribbled on by a toddler,

Bonnie Shimko

Sexy Humor Quotes #492323
#22. What were you saying about the way I smell?" "It's like hot testosterone on a fuckin' cracker, sprinkled with cinnamon." ~Mariss

Tyffani Clark Kemp

Sexy Humor Quotes #489900
#23. I don't want to dig him or his sexy self. But I keep losing my clothes when I'm with him.

Jill Shalvis

Sexy Humor Quotes #486920
#24. Ugh. You're being ... you."
"Was that in English?"
"This is all your fault."
"Nope. Definitely not English."
"You're being all hot and sexy, dammit," she said. She banged her head on his chest a few times. "And I can't seem to ... not notice said hotness and sexiness.

Jill Shalvis

Sexy Humor Quotes #485479
#25. Oh, doctor. I think I'm sick I need some penis-cilin. I fake cough again into my hand.

S.K. Logsdon

Sexy Humor Quotes #483062
#26. I want you in every way possible and in ways you've probably never even imagined. Your saving grace is I don't sleep with vamps. If things were different we wouldn't be talking and you'd be enjoying the hell out of where this could be going." - Lexan, The Way You Bite

Zoe Forward

Sexy Humor Quotes #832125
#27. She had one of those husky voices that sounded as if she were permanently coming down with a cold. Men seemed to find that sexy in a woman, which Jackson thought was odd because it made women sound less like women and more like men. Maybe it was a gay thing.

Kate Atkinson

Sexy Humor Quotes #958818
#28. Piss me off again and I'll rip you a new asshole and then fuck it. And that's just the foreplay.

Larissa Ione

Sexy Humor Quotes #942758
#29. Charity knew there was nothing more coarse and common than an afternoon in bed with a total stranger
but the lad installing the telephone had a grin that made her heart turn flips.

Elizabeth Jane Howard

Sexy Humor Quotes #940454
#30. The best laid plans may not get you laid the way you planned.

Susan Block

Sexy Humor Quotes #933087
#31. Dear God, this was awful. She's been kidnapped by a repressed part of her subconscious, her body taken over by a wanton nympho with no dignity who was sexually aroused by bad behaviour.

Shannon McKenna

Sexy Humor Quotes #929903
#32. He looked like a sexy ninja. Or a tiger ready to pounce on his prey. She just looked like she was sitting sideways on an invisible toilet. Curse the male species for making danger look so good!

Leia Shaw

Sexy Humor Quotes #928812
#33. I have one important question to ask you before I kiss you."
Kiss her? Her eyes had possibly bulged out of their sockets. Not good. "What?"
"Are you allergic to calamari?

Cari Silverwood

Sexy Humor Quotes #916791
#34. She needed to say something sexy and romantic with a mere hint of her vast intelligence. Something that would entice him into bed.
But what came out was, "I wanna fuck."
-Miki Kendrick

Shelly Laurenston

Sexy Humor Quotes #915846
#35. I think a man's "wordplay" can be so fucking sexy!!! I love a good mind fuck!!

Junnita Jackson

Sexy Humor Quotes #895636
#36. It's hot out there." I prowl toward her, pulling off my shirt. I maybe flex my abs a little- anything for my girl.

Ainsley Booth

Sexy Humor Quotes #893493
#37. The boy really needed a haircut. Didn't he know that shoulder-length hair on guys just wasn't sexy unless you looked like Johnny Depp?

Jody Morse

Sexy Humor Quotes #873672
#38. Sex on a rainy afternoon is like getting all the gloom and wetness to go away for a while. And afterwards you don't even notice if the rain's still falling.

Elizabeth Jane Howard

Sexy Humor Quotes #860351
#39. Oh yeah," Zane says and smirks at me. "I had her for dinner once. Best meal of my life.

Nicole Christie

Sexy Humor Quotes #465752
#40. Are we going to be stupid?" she whispered.
"Define stupid."
"Anything that involves either one of us exposing our favorite body parts." Or their hearts ...
"I want to hear about your favorite body part," he said. "In great detail.

Jill Shalvis

Sexy Humor Quotes #824441
#41. If and American flag had been waving behind her, she'd have looked like a very sexy Marine Corps recruiting poster. The few, the proud, the cottontailed.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Sexy Humor Quotes #800232
#42. My libido was like a Golden Retriever puppy, ready to jump all over him and lick his face.
Down, girl.

Sarina Bowen

Sexy Humor Quotes #783343
#43. I let my eyes drift down to his.
I like you rumpled. It's very ... sexy.

Katrina Abbott

Sexy Humor Quotes #780719
#44. She wore a fitted white scoop neck shirt under a thin jacket, slim brown pants and tennis shoes. He bet she looked hot in four-inch heels. He wondered how long she'd last in this town, and he decided he wanted to sleep with her before she left.

Tami Lund

Sexy Humor Quotes #767952
#45. Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

Jacob M. Appel

Sexy Humor Quotes #761883
#46. Handsome hero wanted.
Brave in the face of certain danger.
Must be willing to get naked with other species.
At least six-inch penis required.
Fee is negotiable.

James Cox

Sexy Humor Quotes #758969
#47. I've got a cab waiting so we sh-" he stopped speaking as he entered the
sitting room, his eyes frozen on me.
"Fuck."
Ellie giggled.
I squinted an eye at him. "Is that a good fuck?"
He grinned. "Well you're that too, babe.

Samantha Young

Sexy Humor Quotes #749329
#48. What was she thinking? He was her mechanic, not a piece of meat. Although, if he were a piece of meat, he'd be a big, juicy porterhouse, the naughtier side of her thought. -Gabby, Love in Greener Pastures

Amanda Bretz

Sexy Humor Quotes #739168
#49. Which brings us to the least sexy word in the English language, kids," Dad said, kicking back in his chair. "Inbreeding. Avoid it.

Sarah Rees Brennan

Sexy Humor Quotes #726182
#50. Just don't stare at my ass, Landemere," he added.
"I wasn't staring at your ass," Arranulf, who had been staring at his ass, said.

Andrew Ashling

Sexy Humor Quotes #714626
#51. I might be able to walk away from sexy, dangerous shifters, but chocolate had me at its beck and call.

Meghan Ciana Doidge

Sexy Humor Quotes #118935
#52. Here." He spread his legs wider and patted the floor between them. "You'll be warmer, and I promise I won't grope you or anything."

Yes, because getting groped by a handsome, charming man hours after getting dumped by a workaholic iceberg was such a repulsive notion.

Meg Maguire

Sexy Humor Quotes #219117
#53. It was like my uterus was tapping out a happy dance on the rest of my organs. God, I was dying the longest, most tortuous, and arousing death in the history of the world.

Cora Carmack

Sexy Humor Quotes #214658
#54. Wad Rayyes, you're a man who talks. rubbish. Your whole brain's in the head of your penis and the head of your penis is as small as your brain.

Tayeb Salih

Sexy Humor Quotes #196154
#55. If you're feeling blue, lock yourself in a room, stand in front of a mirror, and dance - and laugh at yourself and be sexy. Dance the silliest and ugliest you've ever danced. Make fun of yourself and try to recover your sense of humor.

Salma Hayek

Sexy Humor Quotes #195982
#56. Curse the genetics that turn me into a lobster after one hour in the sun while everyone else gets to look like a sexy peanut.

A.M. Robinson

Sexy Humor Quotes #195884
#57. Oh, how I want those lips on mine, and not just the ones I use to communicate.

Lena Black

Sexy Humor Quotes #194413
#58. One man's deviance is other man's lunch break.

Jenn Bennett

Sexy Humor Quotes #190970
#59. Could the two people who are making out please be quiet?" the Colonel asked loudly from his sleeping bag. "Those of us who are not making out are drunk and tired.

John Green

Sexy Humor Quotes #185665
#60. You ready for this? You ready for what I'm gonna do to you?

Sherilee Gray

Sexy Humor Quotes #175929
#61. There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?

Dustin Hoffman

Sexy Humor Quotes #168316
#62. Real sex is as much about reciprocity as it is exploration and if you need a reason to resent a man later on, just consider the guy who doesn't believe in cunnilingus ...

Roberto Hogue

Sexy Humor Quotes #155679
#63. Tip #4
Skinny-dip at will!

(Idea)
When single boast about finding your inner most happy place and hold on to it Odds are once married you can kiss personal space Good-Bye.

Hazel Cartwright

Sexy Humor Quotes #148093
#64. Hanks grin almost sent me into meltdown. The kind where I killed him, but first I would stick my tongue down his throat and ride him till he was blind.

Robyn Peterman

Sexy Humor Quotes #228311
#65. How was it that the one man who could take their company down appeared to be the only one who believed in her?

Miranda Liasson

Sexy Humor Quotes #72315
#66. All of Dragos's sentinels were mean and barbaric and sexy. Even that weird harpy-bitch Aryal, who she might have a teensy girl crush on. You know, in a totally hetero kind of way.

Thea Harrison

Sexy Humor Quotes #67637
#67. My body - I do not fall to pieces and be reduced to a big pile of lovable mush over a woman, never!

A.R. Von

Sexy Humor Quotes #67194
#68. Tallish. Check. Built like a bull. Check. Were there tingles in her downstairs department? Mmhmm. Check. Her pearly gates had gone into override and the doors were ready to burst open.

Cari Silverwood

Sexy Humor Quotes #63274
#69. I liked the premise of this material. I love the marriage relationship. They kind of keep each other honest, and they enjoy each other's sense of humor. Kind of a sexy but boring relationship.

Patricia Arquette

Sexy Humor Quotes #57268
#70. I like to play dirty. I can also be very, very exacting." Rate St. Sebastian.

Samanthe Beck

Sexy Humor Quotes #51577
#71. When you f*** a Vampire, you get a free hat.

Daven Anderson

Sexy Humor Quotes #42057
#72. Writing is my dream. From romance to dragons; fairies to fantasy worlds, this is where I live and play. Thanks be to God!

Lisa Hannah Wells

Sexy Humor Quotes #39776
#73. I hate the vamp jobs. They think they're so suave. It's not enough for them to slaughter and eat you like a zombie would. No, they want to be all sexy, too. And trust me: vampires? Not. Sexy.

Kiersten White

Sexy Humor Quotes #30522
#74. You're not as sexy as I think you are. She squinted. Wait. That hadn't come out right.

Thea Harrison

Sexy Humor Quotes #30247
#75. How do you like your eggs?" she said. "Hard or soft?"
"Hard," he bit out. "Why am I not surprised.

J.R. Ward

Sexy Humor Quotes #4823
#76. You're strange."
He looks up from the book with a humor-filled expression. "If, by strange, you mean insanely sexy, then yes, I would have to agree with you." He smirks.

Aly Martinez

Sexy Humor Quotes #290464
#77. Oh for the love of God put a butt plug in the male tough-guy crap.

Larissa Ione

Sexy Humor Quotes #465187
#78. As if reading her mind, he leaned into her again, pupils dark, irises glowing like a forest caught in the last rays of sun before dusk ... "Do you want me to make you come?"
"Is that a trick question?

Dianna Hardy

Sexy Humor Quotes #448556
#79. Many of my ex-girlfriends were habitual half-asian daters. These women considered half-asian men 'exotic,' 'sexy,' and 'just-like-Keanu Reeves-in-the-Matrix. I consider these stereotypes appropriate because I got laid.

Kip Fulbeck

Sexy Humor Quotes #425903
#80. What are you doing?" I asked. "Are we getting all Fifty Shades up in here?"
He shushed me. "Nothing that dangerous. You won't need a safe word.

Sophia Bleu

Sexy Humor Quotes #415338
#81. Nothing could make me pull away meat-market love goddess. My sexy little filet mignon

John Corwin

Sexy Humor Quotes #407220
#82. If I believed in a god, it would be the god of women's asses.

Shay Savage

Sexy Humor Quotes #378756
#83. Old lovers are like socks. They always show up full of static clean and missing their socks.

Paula Wall

Sexy Humor Quotes #377188
#84. It's the only thing sexier than a sexy woman. A sexy woman cooking fuckin' sausages.

Roddy Doyle

Sexy Humor Quotes #352286
#85. Hey, sexy. Why haven't you called?" The cooing sound came from behind me, and I glanced back over my shoulder to see a familiar-looking brunette. "Because I'm the asshole who never calls," I replied with a wink.

Abbi Glines

Sexy Humor Quotes #309765
#86. You better hope she doesn't say a word," Gabe warned, lifting a finger to Uri's nose.
Uri grabbed the finger laughing, "What are you going to do, cupcake? Seduce me to death, in all your sexy glory?"
"Just shut up," Gabe groaned, pushing the door shut in his friend's face.

Wendy Owens

Sexy Humor Quotes #302056
#87. Focus. She's Maddie. Your friend. Would you eyeball Keith or Dane's butt like that? ~ Zach

Monique DeVere

Sexy Humor Quotes #296486
#88. Richelle Mead delivers sexy action and tongue-in-cheek hellish humor-if damnation is this fun, sign me up!

Lilith Saintcrow

Sexy Humor Quotes #293833
#89. I give him a skeptical look. "You want to show me your dick?"
"If it'll help convince you." He drains the last drops of his Scotch and stands up. "Come on, let's go.

Kendall Ryan

Sexy Humor Quotes #3529
#90. Never be afraid to be sexy!

Alysha Speer

Sexy Humor Quotes #282044
#91. Do I really run like that?" (Kitty)
"Yup," Martini confirmed. "Don't worry, I think it's sexy."
"Thank God. I think I look like a cheetah on drugs.

Gini Koch

Sexy Humor Quotes #272773
#92. You call that caring?! I call it a line of crap! The only thing you cared about begins with an "F" and ends with me losing my virginity!

Maggie Adams

Sexy Humor Quotes #270917
#93. You look and sound like you could you use a stiff one.
Mark Willburn

Madison Sevier

Sexy Humor Quotes #267165
#94. If you lie there much longer, I'll be tempted to tie you to the table legs and try buttering your ass instead of the toast.

Cari Silverwood

Sexy Humor Quotes #266155
#95. Guys are like dogs. You wish you could take them all home when they're young. But after they've howled all night and slobbered all over everything, you come to realize the ones already trained are much easier to live with.

Paula Wall

Sexy Humor Quotes #261895
#96. Does he ever eat? Nope. Does he sleep during the day and only comes out at night? Yep. Is he so sexy you'd sell your soul to spend just a night with him? Double-yep. What other proof do you need?

Jayde Scott

Sexy Humor Quotes #259245
#97. He had to say that the thing he found most attractive about her was that she had tried to kill herself. Now that was interesting
sexy, almost, in a morbid kind of way.

Nick Hornby

Sexy Humor Quotes #253413
#98. I hired you for your attitude, and so far I'm pretty happy with my decision. But I'm not sure I can work with you until I've fucked this attraction out of my system.

J.C. Reed

Sexy Humor Quotes #250261
#99. I was tanned, happy, and blowing a kiss to Cary, who'd playacted the role of a highfashion
photographer by calling out ridiculous encouragements. Beautiful, dahling. Show me sassy. Show me sexy. Brilliant.
Show me catty ... rawr ...

Sylvia Day

Sexy Humor Quotes #234430
#100. I tried all kinds of approaches: sexy, friendly, intimidating - nothing worked. I'm starting to think there's an invisible force field that prevents honest communication between X and Y chromosomes.

Jody Gehrman

Sexy Humor Quotes #229736

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