Senator Kerry Quotes

#1. Senator Kerry voted to undermine the troops in the field, and that is not only inexcusable, it is reprehensible.

John Ensign

#2. The fact is that we wouldn't be in Iraq if it weren't for Democrats like Senator Kerry.

Howard Dean

#3. I can think of a lot of words to describe Senator Kerry's position on Iraq; 'consistent' is not one of them.

Dick Cheney

#4. Senator Kerry was fooled by Bashar al-Assad.

Elliott Abrams

#5. If Senator Kerry understands the nature of this threat and the need to take on terror, then he should immediately repudiate these troubling comments, and stop all efforts on behalf of his surrogates to blame America for these attacks.

Marc Racicot

#6. Senator Kerry recovering very nicely after having shoulder surgery. The doctors said the senator was fully awake, lucid and joking after the surgery was done, but cautioned that that was just the drug. He went back to his boring self soon afterward.

Jay Leno

#7. [Senator] Kerry [democrat MA] is emerging as the worst of all the viable Democratic candidates. He has the backbone of Clinton and the charm of Gore.

Andrew Sullivan

#8. A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.

Dennis Miller

#9. Had the decision belonged to Senator Kerry, Saddam hussein would still be in power today in Iraq. In fact, Saddam Hussein would almost certainly still be in control of Kuwait.

Dick Cheney

#10. In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and the 'economy of privilege.' Then he hugged his wife, Teresa, heir to the multi-million dollar Heinz food fortune.

Jay Leno

#11. In his years in Washington, Senator Kerry has been one vote of a hundred in the United States Senate - and fortunately on matters of national security he was very often in the minority.

Dick Cheney

#12. In times of war and in hours of crisis, Senator Kerry has turned his back on 'pay any price' and 'bear any burden', and he's replaced those commitments with 'wait and see' and 'cut and run

George W. Bush

#13. Senator Kerry has been in Washington long enough to take both sides on just about every issue.

George W. Bush

#14. You know, to listen to Senator Lieberman, Senator Kerry, Representative Gephardt, I'm anti-Israel, I'm anti-trade, I'm anti-Medicare and I'm anti-Social Security. I wonder how I ended up in the Democratic Party. I'm not a new entrant to the Democratic Party. I've been here a long time.

Howard Dean

#15. I know a lot of you believe that most people in the news business are liberal. Let me tell you, I know a lot of them, and they were almost evenly divided this time. Half of them liked Senator Kerry; the other half hated President Bush.

Andy Rooney

#16. Senator Kerry says he sees two Americas. It makes the whole thing mutual - America sees two John Kerrys.

Dick Cheney

#17. I reject the notion that a high turnout helps Senator Kerry. I think in Florida at least, it's going to help President Bush because we have gotten more registered voters than the Democrats, and our base is just fired up - thanks to your help and a lot of others.

Jeb Bush

#18. Speaking of tax fairness, it was Senator Kerry who voted to increase the income tax on senior citizens on Social Security, earning as little as $32,000 a year.

William Weld

#19. I do not know that there is a more certain sound than Senator Kennedy. I cannot imagine a more uncertain sound than Senator Kerry.

Gordon Smith

#20. Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.

David Letterman

#21. In order to dance professionally, you have to start at a young age. No matter what, your muscle structure and your bones have to be groomed from a very young age. Nobody wakes up at 17 and decides to become a ballet dancer.

Amanda Schull

#22. In a new issue of Esquire magazine, they revealed that before he was married to Teresa Heinz, Senator John Kerry dated Morgan Fairchild, Michelle Phillips, Catherine Oxenberg and Dana Delany. Finally a Democratic presidential candidate with good taste in women.

Jay Leno

#23. The big winner last night in New Hampshire - Senator John Kerry. He won 39 percent of the vote, which is pretty good, and begs the question, why the long face?

Jay Leno

#24. There are now reports that President Obama will name Massachusetts Senator John Kerry to be the next secretary of defense. Apparently this is part of America's new defense strategy to bore our enemies to death.

Jay Leno

#25. Democratic candidate John Kerry on Tuesday chose fellow Senator John Edwards to be his running mate. Asked about Edwards' lack of foreign policy experience, Kerry revealed his new campaign slogan, 'I Promise Not to Die.'

Dennis Miller

#26. George Bush, Dick Cheney, every one of the speakers praised John Kerry's war record. No one said he was unfit. They said he has terrible judgment, and that's his record as a senator. Nobody questioned his military record.

Peter T. King

#27. Heath," she whispered, "you're all I want. No one else ... no one ...

Lisa Kleypas

#28. Senator John Kerry is in trouble for making a joke about soldiers being uneducated. As a result, Kerry promised to stop making jokes and stick to boring people.

Conan O'Brien

#29. If you have an offense against me, do you know you can't repent of my sin? You can only plead your own personal pardon at the throne of God.

Johnny Hunt

#30. I don't know how many serious Christians exist here in America, but the Japanese, the younger generation is leaving the Buddhist religion mentality behind.

Hiroshi Sugimoto

#31. It's a reality of film festivals that you can't see everything. You're dividing your time between seeing films and utilizing that unique space to have meetings with people that you can't otherwise.

Thom Powers

#32. Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is find a really rich country like Switzerland and marry it.

Jay Leno

#33. I pretty much know that directing means that you have to answer about a thousand questions every day and you have to answer them quick.

Colin Hanks

#34. Sucktastic!"-Leo

Rick Riordan

#35. Dawn was breaking, like the light from another world.

Alfred Jarry

#36. If you want to stop illegal immigration, you have to make it so that - so that the people that hire the illegal immigrants will not be in a position to hire them.

Jesse Ventura