Sarcastic Humour Quotes

#1. Although we didn't invite Lucinda, she arrived anyway-with a gift.
"No need," Char and I chimed together.
"Remember when you were a squirrel," Mandy said.

Gail Carson Levine

#2. Until I was diagnosed with mouth cancer, I'd never heard of it.

Jack Wild

#3. In Hollywood, I'm lucky, I only do big movies like 'Blade.' It's much more comfortable: you have a trailer.

Donnie Yen

#4. She bared her teeth at me. "Screw you, shifter!"
"Ah, is our honeymoon period over so quickly? You wanted to jump my bones just a second ago.

Cori Moore

#5. You can make fun of yourself and people will laugh at you. If you're smart, you'll end up as a comedian. If you're not, you'll end up as a clown.

Ljupka Cvetanova

#6. Dad made me laugh a lot. He was a real comedian. He had a real sarcastic sense of humour, he could really make a fool out of people. I have to watch it a little bit, because I caught that habit from him. I was really fond of him. He was my idol.

Julian Lennon

#7. I wish for you a life of wealth, health and happiness; a life in which you give to yourself the gift of patience, the virtue of reason, the value of knowledge, and the influence of faith in your own ability to dream about and achieve worthy rewards.

Jim Rohn

#8. I was told that when you hit forty men stop looking at you. It's true, until you slip on a mini-skirt.

Mariella Frostrup

#9. Don't think that people hate you, strongly dislike is a better word for it.

Sarah Van Waterschoot

#10. I call myself a naturalist as opposed to an atheist, but there are different styles. Some people just like to be close to nature. And some people actually worship nature, which is too wishy-washy because - like a lot of religious believers - they don't depend on facts.

Greg Graffin

#11. Going into politics is something people have asked me about forever.

Caroline Kennedy

#12. Children have become disengaged from nature and we need to reintroduce them to the pleasure that it brings. If we do that they will care for it. Through the simple act of planting a tree we can open their eyes to nature's beauty.

Judi Dench

#13. Either they're trying to con you or they're trying to con themselves.

Warren Buffett

#14. Storms make oaks take deeper root.

George Herbert

#15. They'd had to empty their pockets and turn over Aunt Val's purse to the security guard. That way, I wouldn't be tempted to try to kill anyone with her lip gloss and her travel-size pack of tissues.

Rachel Vincent

#16. Kelly was not going to remove her glasses. No matter what the television said about it being safe to do during the 'totality'. The television also told her she wouldn't age if she bought expensive creams and pills.

Guillermo Del Toro

#17. The great effect of friendship is beneficence, yet by the first act of uncommon kindness it is endangered.

Samuel Johnson

#18. I came from poverty and was part of those circumstances.

Pam Grier