Top 100 Rogan Quotes
#1. Mr. Rogan," I frosted my voice over. "What I put into my body is my business." Okay, that didn't sound right.
Ilona Andrews
#2. We're as different as that water and hot glass, Rogan."
"And as able to make something strong between us.
Nora Roberts
#3. One school of thought says that the best way to handle an issue like this is exposure therapy," Mad Rogan said. "For example, if you're terrified of snakes, repeated handling of them will cure it."
Aha. "I'm not handling your snake.
Ilona Andrews
#4. I always get what I want, Rogan. Always."
"And what about what I want?"
Wolfe pressed a soft, tender kiss to my lips, the arrogance giving way to deep sincerity. "I'll always give you what you want, Rogan. Always.
Samantha Young
#5. We 'chicks' have munched our popcorn while romantic comedies became just comedies, and then each female protagonist got recast for Matthew McConaughey or Seth Rogan.
Emma McLaughlin
#6. If the clouds split open and an archangel descended onto the street in all of his heavenly glory and tried to make Rogan see reason, he would fail miserably and have to pack up his flaming sword and go back to Heaven in shame.
Ilona Andrews
#7. Yes, I'm a hermit. Mostly I brood," Mad Rogan said. "Also, I'm very good at wallowing in self-pity. I spend my days steeped in melancholy, looking out the window. Occasionally a single tear quietly rolls down my cheek.
Ilona Andrews
#8. I finally understood why he was called Mad Rogan. It wasn't because he was insane. It was because he drove you nuts with sheer frustration. We
Ilona Andrews
#10. As an editor, I read Charlotte Rogan's amazing debut novel, 'The Lifeboat,' when it was still in manuscript. I read it in one night, and I really wanted my company to publish it, but we lost it to another house. It's such a wonderful combination of beautiful writing and suspenseful storytelling.
Karen Thompson Walker
#11. The Hawks want to talk to you, Boss."
"The Hawks?" I queried, confusion wrinkling my brow.
Kir smiled and pulled me to my feet. "My gang are called the Hawks."
I threw him a sardonic look. "Why? Because you always catch your prey?"
He grinned wickedly. "Always, beautiful Rogan. Always.
Samantha Young
#12. Speak to me."
"I hate you."
"Okay." Mad Rogan let go of me. "You're fine.
Ilona Andrews
#13. It was one thing to be attracted to bad boys, something I usually didn't suffer from. It was another to be attracted to bad men. Mad Rogan was a really bad, bad man.
Ilona Andrews
#14. The next time I went anywhere with Mad Rogan, I'd bring one of those bandoliers action stars wore when they routed terrorists from jungles.
Ilona Andrews
#15. Mad Rogan saw me and smiled. And my mind went right into the gutter.
Ilona Andrews
#16. You whiny little piece of shit," Rogan growled. Another punch. "We don't kill civilians. We don't show off in public and scare people." Another punch. "We don't abuse our power, you fucking moron. You're a disgrace.
Ilona Andrews
#17. Mad Rogan: "Resistance is futile."
Nevada: "You are not assimilating me!
Ilona Andrews
#18. And you're not hurt? Nothing's broken?" "No." "Oh good." Mad Rogan sank a vicious punch into Adam's jaw. Adam fell to his knees, his mouth bloody. "How about now, Adam? Anything hurt now?
Ilona Andrews
#19. I so didn't need another outbreak of Rogan fever.
Ilona Andrews
#20. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Nick Diaz
#21. Maybe I should drive," Troy said. "She knows what she's doing," Mad Rogan said. I sniffed. "What?" "The fragrance of a genuine compliment from Mad Rogan. So rare and sweet.
Ilona Andrews
#22. People for the most part can smell lies.
Joe Rogan
#23. The sensory deprivation chamber has been the most important tool that I've ever used for developing my mind
Joe Rogan
#24. The key to happiness doesn't lay in numbers in a bank account but in the way we make others feel.
Joe Rogan
#25. There's a never-ending ocean of techniques out there.
Joe Rogan
#26. I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them.
Joe Rogan
#27. Well you see, Brazilian JiuJitsu Blackbelts have a blackbelt in ... Brazilian JiuJitsu
Joe Rogan
#28. I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.
Joe Rogan
#29. I prefer older people to college kids [as audience] for the most part. I want people with life experience, people that understand where I'm coming from.
Joe Rogan
#30. I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my standup act constantly. It was a dream gig.
Joe Rogan
#31. This country has a mental health problem disguised as a gun problem, and a tyranny problem disguised as a security problem.
Joe Rogan
#32. Most of my bits are long stream-of-consciousness- type things, and when I'm doing them onstage, other places to take the theme or idea will hit me, and I just go with it.
Joe Rogan
#33. Live your life like you're the hero in your movie.
Joe Rogan
#34. I see martial arts as moving forms of meditation. When you're sparring or drilling techniques, you can't think of anything else.
Joe Rogan
#35. The two things I understand best are stand-up comedy and martial arts. And those things require an ultimate grasp of the truth. You have to be objective about your skills and abilities to compete in both.
Joe Rogan
#36. That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.
Joe Rogan
#37. I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.
Joe Rogan
#38. So instead of investing your time in a passion, you've sold your life to work for an uncaring machine that doesn't understand you. That's the problem with our society. And what's the reward? Go home and get a big TV.
Joe Rogan
#39. One of the great things about Houston is that they police themselves. It's the way Boston was in the '80s. No hacks or thieves are tolerated in the community, and that's HUGE.
Joe Rogan
#40. People say you can abuse marijuana. You can abuse cheeseburgers. Does that mean we should close Burger Kings.
Joe Rogan
#41. The best way to pursue any discipline is the martial art way.
Joe Rogan
#42. When a ball goes into a net it only means something because we decided it means something. When somebody punches somebody in the face it always means something.
Joe Rogan
#43. If life wasn't real it would be the craziest psychedelic trip ever
Joe Rogan
#44. I can buy your contract." "No, you can't. Any sale of our mortgage requires my consent, and I won't consent to it." He grinned. "You don't want to work under me?" "I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer.
Ilona Andrews
#45. So many times I've done a CD, and then the week after I record it, I've got this new tagline that's killer. And it makes the whole bit better. It happens all the time. But that's just the process of comedy.
Joe Rogan
#46. In order to be truly great at something you have to give into a certain amount of madness.
Joe Rogan
#47. Cities are natural, that's why they're everywhere. It's not like there's only one city, and everybody's like 'What the f**k is this?' No, cities are all over the place. They're natural. You know what's not natural? You, in the middle of the mountains, in the middle of the winter.
Joe Rogan
#48. I do cagefight commentary in my spare time.
Joe Rogan
#49. If I could make the same amount of money doing standup it would be no contest. The problem is that if you do make that kind of money doing standup, it's not in clubs, it's in big auditoriums and large venues, and I really think something is lost when you do standup for a big crowd.
Joe Rogan
#50. If you prefer, I can acquire a windowless creeper van, and we can huddle in it and eat greasy take out.
Ilona Andrews
#51. How do we get out of this circle?" I asked him.
"We kill him," he said.
"Good. Let's kill him and go home."
"I thought you'd never ask.
Ilona Andrews
#52. We have to start treating each other as if we are treating ourselves living another life.
Joe Rogan
#53. The Comedy Store in LA, it's a really loose room and it's really dark and creepy and a great place to explore your own thoughts onstage.
Joe Rogan
#54. It's a very strange thing when you make nature illegal.
Joe Rogan
#55. The planet's spinning a thousand miles an hour around this gigantic nuclear explosion while these people roll these machines with rubber tires over this hard surface that we've laid down over the planet so that we can easily move ourselves back and forth.
Joe Rogan
#56. Build confidence and momentum with each good decision you make from here on out and choose to be inspired.
Joe Rogan
#57. Kindness is one of the best gifts you can bestow ... We know that inherently that feels great.
Joe Rogan
#58. A lot of times, you beat a person who beat a person who can beat you. I mean, it doesn't make any sense.
Joe Rogan
#59. On my left knee I have a long scar from an ACL operation. I've had both knees reconstructed.
Joe Rogan
#60. If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends, you can act under pressure.
Joe Rogan
#61. I really never thought people would think that I was funny, I thought (my friends) thought I was funny because I was their friend, but other people would just think I was an asshole. I was at least partly right.
Joe Rogan
#62. I wondered if all a person could hope for was illusion and luck, for I was forced to conclude that the world was fundamentally and appallingly dangerous. It is a lesson I will never forget.
Charlotte Rogan
#63. He looked like he needed some jungle ruins to explore or some bad people to hit with a chair. Trouble was, he was the bad people.
Ilona Andrews
#64. I think it would do a lot of people good just to realize how vulnerable they are.
Joe Rogan
#65. Jiu-Jitsu has been one of the most valuable tools I've ever had in my life.
Joe Rogan
#66. It's impossible to measure the type of mental strength and determination that's required to be an elite wrestler.
Joe Rogan
#67. To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don't really worry that much about what other people think of me.
Joe Rogan
#68. And I wondered, not for the first time, if some of life's tragedy arose when people put themselves in situations they were not by nature suited for.
Charlotte Rogan
#69. I'm afraid of heights. Not unreasonably, but rationally afraid of heights. I think everyone is.
Joe Rogan
#70. My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they're my best friends.
Joe Rogan
#71. We live in a society that makes it really easy for these pussies to get by.
Joe Rogan
#72. Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out.
Joe Rogan
#73. And let's be honest, you weren't exactly harmed. I even took you home." "You dumped me on my doorstep. According to my mother, I looked half dead." "Your mother exaggerates. A third dead at most." I stared at him. Wow. Just wow.
Ilona Andrews
#74. I'll go to church with anyone who's willing to smoke pot and look through a telescope with me.
Joe Rogan
#75. Omigawa is moving forward like a karate robot
Joe Rogan
#77. Chris Hillman (of the Byrds) recounts ... 'What happened to the Buffulo Springfield at the Whisky was similar to what happened to us at Ciro's ... everybody wanted to be there. It became the place to be ... a great gig.'
Johnny Rogan
#78. Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick.
Joe Rogan
#79. There's a confidence and a mental toughness that comes from the very highest level of competition, whatever the sport is. Whether it's boxing or wrestling, or whatever.
Joe Rogan
#80. When someone comes along and expresses him or herself as freely as they think, people flock to it. They enjoy it.
Joe Rogan
#81. I've been involved in mixed martial arts since 1997 when I first started working for the UFC.
Joe Rogan
#82. The comics I hate are thieves. Nothing's more disgusting than a guy who steals another person's ideas and tries to claim them as his own.
Joe Rogan
#83. You could smell my ass from mars.
Joe Rogan
#84. Stand-up is still my favorite, but the podcast is a close second. It's so fun, and it's given me the opportunity to have three-hour conversations with people I wouldn't have otherwise been able to talk to. When I talked to Maynard Keenan from Tool, I almost couldn't believe it was happening.
Joe Rogan
#85. Peter Joseph is asking the questions and proposing the possible solutions that we should be demanding from the elected leaders of this crazy world.
His brilliant analysis of this ridiculous system we're operating under is one of the most important voices for change in this generation.
Joe Rogan
#86. That's the nature of our relationship". A spark lit his eyes. "We both do what's necessary, and after it's over, I watch you freak out about it."
"I don't."
"Oh, I don't want you to stop. I find it highly amusing
Ilona Andrews
#87. I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking.
Joe Rogan
#88. Life's full of surprises, and they ain't all bad.
Barbara Rogan
#89. Oh. "So the best way to fight you is to strip naked and attack?"
His eyes flashed with a wicked light. "Yes. You should try it and see what happens.
Ilona Andrews
#90. A man had no right to be this fiercely sexual without even trying.
Ilona Andrews
#91. I love existing in pre big bang conditions.
Joe Rogan
#92. Having the privilege of sitting down and having 3 hour long uninterrupted conversations with hundreds of brilliant people is an awesome perspective enhancer.
Joe Rogan
#93. When women go to see men strip, we never accuse you of hating men.
Joe Rogan
#94. Any comic like myself owes everything he has to Lenny Bruce. He was the originator. The godfather of uncensored American stand-up is clearly Lenny Bruce.
Joe Rogan
#95. I don't really like actors. Actors are like terrible comedians with no punch lines. It's all about them. They talk about themselves all the time. They bore the sh - t out of you.
Joe Rogan
#96. When you snatch little pieces of other people's lives and try to palm them off as your own, that's more disgusting than anything. Robin Williams is a huge thief. Denis Leary is a huge thief. His whole stand-up career is based on Bill Hicks, a brilliant guy who died years ago.
Joe Rogan
#97. Faith itself is a horrible mechanism that stunts the growth of ideas. It also stunts the act of questioning, and it does this by pushing the idea that you have to have faith - and that nothing has to be proven.
Joe Rogan
#98. Aspire to be the man you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid.
Joe Rogan
#99. Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to people. I think that's why everybody loved him so much.
Joe Rogan
#100. Life is strange. You keep moving and keep growing. Before you know it, you look back and think, "What was that?"
Joe Rogan
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