Quotes About Witticism

#1. A joke is a witticism or play on words that's meant to be funny. I say 'meant to be' because most jokes aren't funny. They range between mildly amusing and grimace-inducingly annoying.

Michael Monroe

#2. No exceptions to exceptions!

Raheel Farooq

#3. A witticism in an airport security line is like a Swiss tap - turn it on, and you instantly find yourself in hot water.

Shashi Tharoor

#4. Besides, every experience is of value, and whatever one may say against marriage, it is certainly an experience.

Oscar Wilde

#5. An epigram is a flashlight of a truth; a witticism, truth laughing at itself.

Minna Antrim

#6. I can resist anything but the temptation to make a clever witticism.

Oscar Wilde

#7. He who cannot shine by thought, seeks to bring himself into notice by a witticism.

Voltaire

#8. Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

Ambrose Bierce

#9. Destroy the traces. I'd never tried to do that. Instead I'd lived in their midst for thirty years, oblivious, a blind man fancying himself invisible.

Jonathan Lethem

#10. I saw that my witticism was unperceived and quietly replaced it in the treasury of my mind.

Flann O'Brien

#11. Of all failures, to fail in a witticism is the worst, and the mishap is the more calamitous in a drawn-out and detailed one

Walter Savage Landor

#12. Your true meaning cannot be grasped or captured by words. You can never be equated with any words, because you are prior to words.

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

#13. You know, a lot of people say they didn't want to die until the Red Sox won the World Series. Well, there could be a lot of busy ambulances tomorrow.

Johnny Damon

#14. Have you ever been bitten by an elephant? How about a mosquito? It's the little things in life that will bite you.

Darren Hardy

#15. The lads I've met in cupid's deadlock
Were - shall we say? - born out of wedlock

Dorothy Parker

#16. A mountain still in the distance can appear as a molehill.

Howard Fast

#17. Where do you come up with these zingers, Clint? Do you own some kind of joke factory in Indonesia where you've got eight-year-olds working ninety hours a week to deliver you that kind of top-quality witticism? There are boy bands with more original material.

John Green

#18. I wish that I could fly into the sky and touch the clouds with my hands.

Delano Johnson

#19. I think Russell Crowe is a brilliant actor.

Rebel Wilson

#20. Sometimes a witticism has no truth behind it.

Michael Leunig

#21. Just as the witticism brings two very different real objects under one concept, the pun brings two different concepts, by the assistance of accident, under one word.

Arthur Schopenhauer

#22. That was the problem with snide comments; they invariably lost all their punch on repetition. Besides, when facing impending death, what did the odd witticism matter?

Lauren Willig

#23. A man of remarkable genius may afford to pass by a piece of wit, if it happen to border on abuse. A little genius is obliged to catch at every witticism indiscriminately.

William Shenstone

#24. Such is life, my fellow-mummers-just like a poor player that bluffs and feints his hour upon the stage, and then cheapens down to mere nonentity. But let me not hear any small witticism to the further effect that its story is a tale told by a vulgarian, full of slang and blanky, signifying-nothing.

Joseph Furphy

#25. I don't want to be sued and cursed-out later.

Mr. Muthafuckin' EXquire

#26. One should have wit, but not wish to have it; otherwise there will be witticism, the Alexandrian style of wit.

Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel

#27. But when I direct I become possessed, a possession I've never quite understood.

Ted Kotcheff

#28. Only dead fish go with the flow.

Andy Hunt

#29. Somebody cracks a joke, a whole row laughs, one witticism sets off another, and, like matches, they flare up and burn down.

Joseph Roth

#30. If the massive invasion is not stopped, we are going to be flooded to the extent that we will drift into third world status. For our children and for our grandchildren, we cannot fail on this issue.

Virgil Goode

#31. What is certain is that I am not a Marxist, as someone said a long time ago, let us recall, in a witticism reported by Engels. Must we still cite Marx as an authority in order to say "I am not a Marxist"?

Jacques Derrida

#32. A man often runs the risk of throwing away a witticism if he admits that it is his own.

Jean De La Bruyere

#33. How gratifying it is to amuse. How easy it gets to toss off a witticism to ease any awkwardness, to sidestep any solemnity. When you amuse, it even seems, for the briefest possible moment that you are who you appear to be, so clever and confident and at ease.

Caroline Kettlewell

#34. If you write something wrong enough, I'll be glad to make up a new witticism just for you.

Larry Wall

#35. Jeff Beachum, Sergeant of Snark, Wielder of Witticism, Dominator of the Double Entendre, completely ran out of things to say.

Amy Lane