Top 96 Quotes About Umpires
#1. We've beat up our umpires. They're now allowed to be human.
Joe Torre
#2. Error is part of the game. I never, ever second-guessed myself on a call and don't believe good umpires ever should.
Doug Harvey
#3. They are supposed to be dispassionate dispensers of Pure Justice, icy islands of emotionless calculation. In short, umpires should be acute Republicans.
George Will
#4. Judges are like umpires. Umpires don't make the rules. They apply them. The role of an umpire and a judge is critical. They make sure everybody plays by the rules. But it is a limited role. Nobody ever went to a ballgame to see the umpire.
John Roberts
#5. There are umpires, and there are those who hold the title.
Al Barlick
#6. On days like this, baseball would make Michael as happy as it ever did. No umpires. No coaches. No rules except the ones you made up.
Mike Lupica
#7. Step outside the guidelines of the official umpires and make your own rules and your own reality.
Phil Ochs
#8. I told the umpires to walk back at least thirty-five feet from home plate. That reduced the arguements.
Bill Klem
#9. It is difficult batting in artificial light with a red ball but it's a horrible task for umpires to make a judgement, particularly if they're going by light meters.
Adam Gilchrist
#10. All you umpires, back to the bleachers. Referees, hit the showers. It's my game. I pitch, I hit, I catch. I run the bases. At sunset, I've won or lost. At sunrise, I'm out again, giving it the old try.
Ray Bradbury
#11. I don't know how we could use it to improve the job that umpires do, ... The human element in sport has always been a big part of the game. I'm a football fan, too, and I hate instant replay in the NFL. Football games are taking four hours.
Bud Selig
#12. The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn't argue with one. I'd put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.
Casey Stengel
#13. Minor league umpires are evaluated in their respective leagues each year and rated numerically. This enables umpires to know where they stand and helps them make prudent career decisions.
Jim Evans
#14. It turns out umpires and judges are not robots or traffic cameras, inertly monitoring deviations from a fixed zone of the permissible. They are humans.
Eric Liu
#15. I cannot for the life of me see why the umpires, the only two people on a cricket field who are not going to get grass stains on their knees, are the only two people allowed to wear dark trousers.
Katharine Whitehorn
#16. First of all, you want umpires to call what they see. In the case of fair or foul, the smartest thing is to call the ball fair. Because if it's called foul and ruled fair, where do we put the runners?
Joe Torre
#17. If you don't need umpires out there, and you can put robots out there, then why do we need ballplayers?
Doug Harvey
#18. Boys, I'm one of those umpires that misses 'em every once in a while so if it's close, you'd better hit it.
Cal Hubbard
#19. Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.
Bill Vaughan
#20. I'd always have grease in at least two places, in case the umpires would ask me to wipe one off. I never wanted to be caught out there with anything though, it wouldn't be professional.
Gaylord Perry
#21. I just loved officiating, and I hope what I did helped make it better. That's what I tell young umpires: you can have fun. I never spent a day where going out on a baseball field didn't make me feel better.
Doug Harvey
#22. Ten years from now I will tell you how I feel about umpires.
Carlos Zambrano
#23. I made a game effort to argue but two things were against me: the umpires and the rules.
Leo Durocher
#24. Some have said that I can accept inadequacies in my players but not in umpires. That completely misses the point. I can't tolerate anyone's mistake.
Earl Weaver
#25. Umpires are most vigorous when defending their miscalls.
Jim Brosnan
#26. Almost without exception, they are men who dreamed of athletic heroism as children; becoming umpires was their compromise with their own lack of talent.
Thomas Boswell
#27. The system is in place whereby if an umpire cries off, or both as was the case here, those umpires are to be replaced.
Mark Webber
#28. I always told my young umpires, 'Don't get mad. Whatever you do, don't show it. But no matter how long it takes, get even.'
Doug Harvey
#29. Chief Justice [John] Roberts compared judges to umpires, who apply rules they did not write and cannot change to the competition before them.
Orrin Hatch
#30. The integrity of the game is the umpires. Nobody else. The entire integrity of the game is the umpires.
Doug Harvey
#31. I'd love to stay in baseball, but I won't beg. I'd love to work with young umpires. I think I could teach them, help them develop. I can spot flaws, help them get over the hump. You're striving for perfection every game, yet you never achieve it. If baseball wants me, I'm available.
Doug Harvey
#32. Most umpires are good about letting the argument go, but you can only go on for so long, or go so far. If you don't leave it alone after a minute or two, you're in trouble. They want to keep the game moving, so they've got to throw you out. I had trouble leaving it alone, I guess.
Bobby Cox
#33. The best umpired game is the game in which the fans cannot recall the umpires who worked it.
Bill Klem
#34. Umpires sometimes have a quick trigger.
Joe Torre
#35. The differential diagnosis of catatonia According to an old story, there are three different types of baseball umpires. The first says: "I call them lballs and strikes] as they are"; the second says: "I call them as I see them"; and the third says: "What I call them is what they become.
Max Fink
#36. Umpires are necessary evils. That's just the nature of the beast. For years, people have looked on umpiring as a job they could get any postman to do.
Doug Harvey
#37. I'd get me a bunch of bats and balls and sneak me a couple of umpires and learn them kids behind the Iron Curtain how to tote a bat and play baseball.
Dizzy Dean
#38. The most cowardly thing in the world is blaming mistakes upon the umpires. Too many managers strut around on the field trying to manage the umpires instead of their teams.
Bill Klem
#39. No player or manager has greater respect for the umpires than I do, and I have demonstrated that over the years.
Pete Rose
#40. Umpires are like emotional girlfriends, once they make up their minds, there is no point in arguing
Dmitry Tursunov
#41. I'm a little too belligerent. I cuss and swear at people. I yell at umpires and maybe I'm a little to tough at home sometimes. I don't sign as many autographs as I should and I haven't always been that good with writers.
Thurman Munson
#42. Earl gave me his version of what happened and asked me not to suspend the umpires.
Lee MacPhail
#43. Umpires, like players, are expected to show constant improvement each season and at each level. Inconsistent plate work and the inability to handle situations are probably the two biggest problems that minor league umpires face.
Jim Evans
#44. Cricket is a most precarious profession; it is called a team game but, in fact, no one is so lonely as a batsman facing a bowler supported by ten fieldsmen and observed by two umpires to ensure that his error does not go unpunished.
John Arlott
#45. It's an ongoing process of reinterpreting the strike zone in accordance to the rulebook. The umpires, I think, are doing an excellent job of bringing the outside pitch in closer to the plate. But I still think we have a lot of work to do with the low end of the strike zone.
Sandy Alderson
#46. When I was 14, I played in a summer league. One night the chief umpire asked me if I would like to try umpiring. There was a Little League tournament coming up and he needed more umpires than he had.
Jim Evans
#47. The one thing that all umpires have is pride, and if you don't have pride, you lose that edge.
Doug Harvey
#48. The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.
Navjot Singh Sidhu
#49. I think umpires have too much power, without any system of checks and balances and the more money a player makes, the more the umpire tries to show off that power to him. Unfortunately, since I signed my contract my strike zone has suddenly become a lot larger.
Ozzie Smith
#50. I've heard it said that umpires are necessary evil. Well, we are necessary, but we are not evil. We are hard-working and dedicated people whose primary interest is to make sure the game is played fairly. We are the integrity of the game.
Doug Harvey
#51. Bishops are like umpires. You have to have them to call the close decisions.
Frank Butler
#52. As all of us with any involvement in sports knows, no two umpires or no two referees have the same strike zone or call the same kind of a basketball game.
Herb Kohl
#53. Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.
Jerry Coleman
#54. It is rather suitable for umpires to dress like dentists, since one of their tasks is to draw stumps.
John Arlott
#55. People come out to see the players. When do you see a manager anyway? When he's out on the field arguing with the umpires, making a fool of himself and you know you can't win, and when he brings out the line-up card.
Frank Robinson
#56. Chaos umpire sits And by decision more embroils the fray by which he reigns: next him high arbiter Chance governs all.
John Milton
#57. The best recommendation for an umpire in the old days was: He licked somebody in the Three-I League. He ought to do.
Ty Cobb
#58. The roughest thing I ever said to an umpire was, 'Are you sure?'
Rod Laver
#59. I want to stress again one aspect of the game which is most important. Never argue with an umpire.
Ian Botham
#60. The only good thing about that decision, Gatt, is that I'll get tea before you.
Graham Gooch
#61. It isn't enough for an umpire to merely know what he's doing. He has to look as though he knows what he's doing, too.
Larry Goetz
#62. A good umpire is the umpire you don't even notice
Ban Johnson
#64. In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out.
Larry Goetz
#65. Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is ... well, an umpire.
Ron Luciano
#66. My only complaint with 'Dickie' Bird is that he requires a degree of certainty that is almost neurotic; like the man who has to keep going to the front door to make certain that he's locked it.
Mike Brearley
#67. I get what I desire, it's my empire
And yes I call the shots, I am the umpire
Nicki Minaj
#68. Somebody has to keep score and I decided I was going to do it. I'm a born score-keeper and I realize, like an umpire, that my decisions may cause distress.
Gore Vidal
#70. No one ever grew up intending to be an umpire, except perhaps my friend Bill Haller. His brother Tom wanted to be a catcher, so an affinity for masks must run in that family.
Ron Luciano
#71. Cardinal rule for all hitters with two strikes on them: Never trust the umpire.
Robert Smith
#72. Being an umpire is like being a king. It prepares you for nothing.
Ron Luciano
#73. Ed (Runge), you're the second best umpire in the league. The other twenty-three are tied for first.
Carl Yastrzemski
#74. On the whole, life is unfair in the way it works out. It is a game played without an umpire!
Ursula Bloom
#75. There's absolutely no excuse for throwing a piece of equipment on an umpire or any player. You can argue your point and at times may accidentally bump an umpire, but to consciously throw a piece of equipment at someone is unforgivable.
Brad Ausmus
#76. Every man's reason is his own rightful umpire. This principle, with that of acquiescence in the will of the majority, will preserve us free and prosperous as long as they are sacredly observed.
Thomas Jefferson
#77. Somethin' like four thousand bottles have been thrown at me in my day but only about twenty ever hit me. That does not speak very well for the accuracy of the fans' throwing.
Harry Gordon Johnson
#78. The way we have been playing, I might tell my players not to cross the picket line (umpire strike of 1979).
Whitey Herzog
#79. I've never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes.
Leo Durocher
#80. A good umpire, like a good FBI agent, is never noticed if he is doing his job.
Thomas Boswell
#81. Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire.
Casey Stengel
#82. The trouble with me is that every match I play against five opponents: umpire, crowd, ball boys, court, and myself.
Goran Ivanisevic
#83. Why, they shot the wrong McKinley!
Dizzy Dean
#84. The first guy who lays a finger on this blind old man is fined fifty bucks!
Gene Mauch
#85. In case of dispute, the umpire shall throw it straight into the field.
James Naismith
#86. And I will place within them as a guide My umpire conscience, whom if they will hear Light after light well used they shall attain, And to the end persisting, safe arrive.
John Milton
#87. Being an umpire wasn't such a tough job. You really have to understand only two things and that's maintaing discipline and knowing the rule book.
Cal Hubbard
#88. She'll be evaluated like any other Double-A umpire. Major League Baseball has never attempted to influence our decision
Mike Fitzpatrick
#90. The umpire ... is like the geyser in the bathroom; we cannot do without it, yet we notice it only when it is out of order.
Neville Cardus
#92. Listen, ump. How can you sleep with the lights on?
Amos Otis
#93. Umpire Harold Bird, having a wonderful time, signalling everything in the world, including stopping traffic coming on from behind.
John Arlott
#94. When politicians complain about the media, it strikes me as resembling footballers complaining about the umpire.
Tony Abbott
#95. I am the batsman and the bat, / I am the bowler and the ball, / The umpire, the pavilion cat, / The roller, pitch, and stumps, and all.
Andrew Lang
#96. The umpire signals a bye with the air of a weary stalk
John Arlott
