Top 100 Quotes About Larry David
#1. Let's face it, I'm not winning a fight with anybody - unless it's against someone like Larry David.
Benny Blanco
#2. Larry David's armor is his dissatisfaction with the world down to the smallest detail, and up to the whole ghastly arrangement. He won't win, but he'll enjoy losing.
Tom Shales
#3. Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
Alan King
#4. But the truth is that L.A. was never entirely real anyway, as Steely Dan, Randy Newman, Warren Zevon, Larry David and Alan Ball all understood.
Barney Hoskyns
#5. I admire Russell Simmons. He is a successful dude that has done a little bit of everything. He keeps it moving, and he's still doing things. Larry David is also amazing. He is honest and blunt. A creative genius.
J. B. Smoove
#6. Larry David is such an incredible talent.
Jenn Lyon
#7. I don't watch cop movies much. I TiVo shows. I watch every Larry David show.
Raymond Kelly
#8. I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.
Larry David
#9. Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.
Larry David
#10. I'm totally comfortable not being as funny as Larry David.
Jeff Garlin
#11. I watch the news, which is its own reality show. I love 'Curb Your Enthusiasm.' I love it because it's funny and because I realize that I'm happier than Larry David.
Garry Shandling
#13. As a teen, I was an angst on wheels, and as an adult, I'm essentially a young, half-Greek Larry David in heels-incapable of hiding discomfort, dissatisfaction, or doubt, inescapably myself and often honest to a fault.
Sophia Amoruso
#14. As young as I look, I think it will still be funny if I played a person who's kind of tortured and hates his life. Kind of like a Larry David-type thing.
Andy Milonakis
#15. I'm a Larry David fan, right? And it seems to me that Jewish history from the Talmud on has been a self-deprecating, self-critical kind of humor.
Peter Eisenman
#18. If I ever wanted to pick someone's brain, like Larry David would obviously be the most relevant.
Steve Dildarian
#19. They privatize the profits and socialize the losses, so whichever way the wheel spins, they win." Quote from a millionaire Wall-Streeter in Hitchhiking with Larry David by Paul Samule Dolman.
Paul Dolman
#20. After my episode of 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' ran, Larry David and JJ Abrams were like, 'I discovered her,' but I was like 'Hold up. Please. I'm from 'Next Friday.' Everybody knows me!'
Kym Whitley
#21. For me anyway, until I was exposed to doing improvisation and walking onto a stage without any script, I would have never felt comfortable enough to walk into a room with someone like Larry David and audition.
Cheryl Hines
#22. I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.
Larry David
#23. Luck always plays a part for everyone, whether they want to admit it or not. I was very lucky, and I know it.
Larry David
#24. I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.
Larry David
#25. Larry Grobel's interviews are informative and insightful without being pandering or intrusive. You get the sense at all times of both intelligence at work-the interviewee's and Grobel's-both inspired by the encounter.
David Duchovny
#26. No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I am underneath it all.
Larry David
#27. I don't really know much about TV and what people want to see. I'm not that well-informed about it.
Larry David
#28. At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me.
Larry David
#29. My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time.
Larry David
#30. I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.
Larry David
#33. Religion doesn't play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don't think I've ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word 'Jew' or saying it myself.
Larry David
#34. I'd rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
Larry David
#35. I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
Larry David
#36. The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
Larry David
#37. Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
Larry David
#38. Whenever something good happens to me, it's usually followed by something terrible.
Larry David
#39. I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'
Larry David
#40. Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?
Larry David
#41. There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable!
Larry David
#42. A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied
Larry David
#43. Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.
Larry David
#44. If Fox Mulder discovered that Larry Sanders was a clone? I think he would stab him ... but it wouldn't be with an ice pick.
David Duchovny
#45. Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
Larry David
#46. There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.
Larry David
#47. If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
Larry David
#48. I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.
Larry David
#49. I'm one of the idiots that negotiates after I write.
Larry David
#50. I couldn't walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello.
Larry David
#52. I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.
Larry David
#53. I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
Larry David
#56. I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.
Larry David
#57. The temperature in that hangar would sometimes get down to 40 degrees, and very often I had to put on long underwear, which was so restrictive I suffered from an acute vascular disorder for days afterward.
Larry David
#59. I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them.
Larry David
#60. I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
Larry David
#61. Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
Larry David
#62. Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?
Larry David
#63. It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.
Larry David
#64. I don't like to make a big splash anyway.
Larry David
#65. I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War.
Larry David
#66. Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!
Larry David
#67. Woody Allen likes to do a lot of master shots. He likes to get the whole thing in one take, and so you could be going along doing a scene, and then the next to last line, all of a sudden, you stumble, and you have to go back to first base.
Larry David
#68. Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn't normally.
Larry David
#69. OK, I'm happy. I'm happy. All right? I'm happy.
Larry David
#70. I can't stand reading anything that I've said.
Larry David
#71. Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.
Larry David
#72. If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
Larry David
#73. Really good fiction could have as dark a worldview as it wished, but it'd find a way both to depict this world and to illuminate the possibilities for being alive and human in it.
[Q&A with Larry McCaffery, Review of Contemporary Fiction, Summer 1993, Vol. 13.2]
David Foster Wallace
#74. Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
Larry David
#76. Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.
Larry David
#77. I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
Larry David
#78. I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed.
Larry David
#79. I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.
Larry David
#80. Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.
Larry David
#81. Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.
Larry David
#82. Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest.
Larry David
#83. I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word 'happy' has ever crossed my lips. I am not now, nor have I ever been, 'happy.'
Larry David
#84. You know, when you do standup there are certain requirements that you have to do like you have to go on stage and when you get introduced you have to say "Hey,how ya doin'? How are ya?" I couldn't do it. It was false.
Larry David
#85. I don't like to say anything good. I feel like I'll jinx myself.
Larry David
#87. It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.
Larry David
#89. All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
Larry David
#90. The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
Larry David
#91. I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
Larry David
#92. Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
Larry David
#93. Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.
Larry David
#94. The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don't like to have hot food for lunch.
Larry David
#95. I think that what people imagine they're going through is much worse than what they are going through.
Larry David
#96. I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.
Larry David
#97. The addition of nuts in salad ... I always find to be beneficial.
Larry David
#98. Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.
Larry David
#99. In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year.
Larry David
#100. It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.
Larry David
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