Quotes About Doofus

#1. Put two men together, and they will find something to argue about. Gather them into groups, and one group will find reason to oppress or attack another.

Brandon Sanderson

#2. Actually, orcas aren't quite as complex as scientists imagine. Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.

Christopher Moore

#3. I skate all the time, but it's silly for me to do contests when MTV is giving me a boatload of money.

Bam Margera

#4. We all feel like idiots at one time or another. Even if we feel we're cool 98 percent of the time, that 2-percent doofus is poised to take over our bodies without any warning.

Ellen DeGeneres

#5. Yes, I have a very small and mostly nerdy fan club. And much to my amazement, it grows a little larger every day. Apparently, these new recruits liked what they saw of my act on YouTube (even though everybody wishes that doofus blocking the camera had a smaller head).

James Patterson

#6. Don't try to change Doofus, let Doofus change you.

Neil Peart

#7. There were two types of people when it came to pain. Those who received it and those who gifted it. Let's just say, I've become one generous motherfucker.

B.B. Reid

#8. If you plan to pass the pop quiz later, I'd advise it."
"It ain't a pop quiz if you warn people beforehand. Doofus."
"That's llygad-doofus to you, and did I say pop quiz? 'Cuz I meant ninja-quiz since you'll never see it coming.

Adrian Phoenix

#9. I had a very modest upbringing.

Balthazar Getty

#10. I just stand there like a doofus wondering just what in the effing blazes is going on.

Patrick Ness

#11. I read the newspaper online. Mostly 'The New York Times.' I'll still buy papers if I'm getting on an airplane or the tour bus, though. I like physical things.

Conor Oberst

#12. Frank gave Leo a confused smile- like he couldn't decide whether to gloat or to thank Leo for being a doofus- but he cheerfully let Hazel drag him along.

Rick Riordan

#13. A guy's got to get a license to drive a Geo, but any doofus with a few good swimmers can be a father.

Lois Greiman

#14. Look, the point is, tiny fire-breathing dinosaur, stacked up against a doofus not-so-ninja turtle and an overgrown iguana with a flower on his back - practical shit aside, he's clearly the ace choice.

Daniel Younger

#15. There they stand, the innumerable stars, shining in order like a living hymn, written in light.

Nathaniel Parker Willis

#16. The crowd groaned. "Nice job doofus!" Finn said.

Ridley Pearson

#17. Especially on television, it's not so much a patriarchy; it always seems that there's a smart, strong woman calling the shots, and her doofus husband. In the sitcom world, it's almost a cliche that the women have the common sense, going back to 'The Honeymooners.'

Jake Weber

#18. I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.

Adam Carolla

#19. Mistake:the unshoveled snow was knee-deep.I kept right on wading through it. "This is because I'm a good person," I assured Doofus. "I am going to heaven,though hopefully not by way of the convent.

Jennifer Echols

#20. Reality must be expressed by a physical symbol.

Mark Tobey

#21. I could have explained that I wanted to walk without Doofus to get some air. But it would be pretty unusual-one might even go as far as to say unheard of-for me to take a hike on a winter night when I was exhausted from boarding all day.

Jennifer Echols