Quotes About Baseball Umpires

#1. Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

Bill Vaughan

#2. The differential diagnosis of catatonia According to an old story, there are three different types of baseball umpires. The first says: "I call them lballs and strikes] as they are"; the second says: "I call them as I see them"; and the third says: "What I call them is what they become.

Max Fink

#3. Almost without exception, they are men who dreamed of athletic heroism as children; becoming umpires was their compromise with their own lack of talent.

Thomas Boswell

#4. I just loved officiating, and I hope what I did helped make it better. That's what I tell young umpires: you can have fun. I never spent a day where going out on a baseball field didn't make me feel better.

Doug Harvey

#5. You have to be proud of who you are.

Bai Ling

#6. There is no truth beyond perception. How you look at things is the truth for you.

Venugopal Gupta

#7. Yes, even amongst wiser militants, how many wounds have been given, and credits slain, for the poor victory of an opinion, or beggarly conquest of a distinction.

Thomas Browne

#8. On days like this, baseball would make Michael as happy as it ever did. No umpires. No coaches. No rules except the ones you made up.

Mike Lupica

#9. They are supposed to be dispassionate dispensers of Pure Justice, icy islands of emotionless calculation. In short, umpires should be acute Republicans.

George Will

#10. Life was always easier, reflected Issy, when you were carrying a large Tupperware full of cakes. Everyone was happy to see you then.

Jenny Colgan

#11. A good umpire is the umpire you don't even notice

Ban Johnson

#12. At the risk of appearing predictable, the Bible was and remains the biggest influence on my thinking. I was raised reading it, memorizing passages from it and being guided by it. I still find it a source of wisdom, comfort and encouragement.

Hillary Clinton

#13. Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.

Jerry Coleman

#14. I'd get me a bunch of bats and balls and sneak me a couple of umpires and learn them kids behind the Iron Curtain how to tote a bat and play baseball.

Dizzy Dean

#15. She'll be evaluated like any other Double-A umpire. Major League Baseball has never attempted to influence our decision

Mike Fitzpatrick

#16. Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men, and men are great only if they are determined to be so.

Charles De Gaulle

#17. Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire.

Casey Stengel

#18. My only desire in the world is to have my revenge against everyone who hurt me, disbelieved me, and made me into the bad guy. After that, I don't know... But, right now, nothing in the world matters but my payback. And I'm going to love every sick, twisted minute of it.

Jaimie Roberts

#19. A good umpire, like a good FBI agent, is never noticed if he is doing his job.

Thomas Boswell

#20. I've never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes.

Leo Durocher

#21. I'd love to stay in baseball, but I won't beg. I'd love to work with young umpires. I think I could teach them, help them develop. I can spot flaws, help them get over the hump. You're striving for perfection every game, yet you never achieve it. If baseball wants me, I'm available.

Doug Harvey

#22. A handy short definition of almost all science fiction might read: realistic speculation about possible future events, based solidly on adequate knowledge of the real world, past and present, and on a thorough understanding of the nature and significance of the scientific method.

Robert A. Heinlein