Quotes About Arses

#1. The shrill voices of those who give orders
Are full of fear like the squeakings of
Piglets awaiting the butcher's knife, as their fat arses
Sweat with anxiety in their office chairs ...
Fear rules not only those who are ruled, but
The rulers too.

Bertolt Brecht

#2. My sword," I told him, "says I tell the truth, and that you are a stinking bag of wind, a liar from hell, a cheat and a perjurer who deserves death."
"Up to our arses again," Leofric said.

Bernard Cornwell

#3. All my friends seem to be smart arses. Don't ask me why. Like many things, it is what it is.

Markus Zusak

#4. So let me get this straight," said Adam eventually, leaning forward on his crate. "Jesus came back and took all his righteous believers with him, right? Now the rest of us are stuck here for the next seven years while demons emerge every night to drag our sorry arses to Hell? Is that the gist of it?

Phillip W. Simpson

#5. We've been over this formation a thousand times so they better remember it or I'll jam bamboo up their arses.

Suzanne Wright

#6. I am struck by the way people behave on the Tube. They look at each other beadily and inquisitively, and something goes on in their thoughts which must be equivalent to the way dogs and other animals, when they meet, sniff each other's arses and nuzzle each other's fur.

Graham Swift

#7. We've got secrets coming out our arses and you want to take them to a clairvoyant?

Cath Crowley

#8. Blessed are those who eat greens, for they shall keep their teeth. Blessed are those who wash their hands after wiping their arses, for they shall not sicken. Blessed are those who boil water, for they shall be called saviors of mankind.

Diana Gabaldon

#9. Lucy: I don't understand men.
Nettie: What is there to understand? If you feed 'em regular-like and give 'em a bit of 'sugar' now and then, they're easy enough. And if they don't behave, you just toss 'em out on their arses. That's what I always say.

Sabrina Jeffries

#10. There are stains on their knees, stains on their arses. Dirty Leeds.

David Peace

#11. People who got on their feet and freaked about were called idiot dancers. and nobody wants to be called an idiot dancer. But the whole idea of rock and roll is to get people off their arses - that's what it's about.

Steve Marriott

#12. the remark of a Middlesex Regiment officer in 1918. "Intelligence services," the man had said, "are prone to looking up their own arses and wondering why it's dark.

David Downing

#13. There scotsmen must have arses like leather,for while he ate I could see naught beneath his kilts but a pair of rather large balls , the secretary told him . - philippa

Bertrice Small

#14. The other man's arse is always cleaner!

Stephen Fry

#15. An ample arse helps you to be weighed down and be grounded.

Pedro Almodovar

#16. Whoever designed this frigging map was having a laugh. Just around the corner, my arse.

Freya Stark

#17. If you want to get on in life get off your arse because it ain't going to come to you. And if it does come to you and you're not off your arse then you ain't going to keep it very long.

Ray Winstone

#18. Yeah, arrest that man on the crime of having 8 Chicken McNuggets stuck up his arse.

Dwayne Johnson

#19. I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.

Billy Connolly

#20. It's interesting to see the dislocation between how people perceive a person visually. Apparently on the radio I'm blonde with a big arse.

Tamsin Greig

#21. I might take what I do very seriously, but at least I'm doing something, rather than sitting on my arse and being no-one.

Joshua James Alphonse Franceschi

#22. The only thing I can do is wipe my arse, brush my teeth, turn up and do the best work I can.

Tom Hardy

#23. Tony Abbott would do anything but sell his arse

Tony Windsor

#24. Dance music was on its arse before we came along.

Sergio Pizzorno

#25. I worked in Harrods as a sales girl and I was so lazy, I just sat on my arse all day. Now I have huge respect for shop girls. It was boring, so I tried to shoplift things, but we'd always get our bags checked.

Susannah Constantine

#26. It takes a bomb under his arse to make Hitler see logic.

Joseph Goebbels

#27. Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse but enough about Kanye West.

Stewart Francis

#28. If I could dance like the ladies can, it would have been my arse on your screens

Lily Allen

#29. Not that i had a big arse but even that was toned.

Benedict Cumberbatch

#30. You must have stuck a finger up your arse at least once.

Noel Fielding

#31. Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.

Dylan Moran

#32. Having just had a baby, I'm not going to be thinking about my arse.

Kate Winslet

#33. I'll tell you what pressure is. Pressure is a Messerschmitt up your arse. Playing cricket is not.

Keith Miller

#34. The only thing I wouldn't do is sell my arse.

Tony Abbott

#35. If his Majesty is resolved to have my head, he may make a whistle of my arse if he pleases.

Algernon Sidney

#36. The greatest monarch on the proudest throne is obliged to sit upon his own arse.

Benjamin Franklin

#37. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

Billy Connolly

#38. I'd like to have a business card saying: Bruce Norris kicked your arse.

Robert Muchamore

#39. To plunder, to lie, to show your arse, are three essentials for climbing high.

Aristophanes

#40. I've been a poser for f
ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.

Billy Connolly

#41. As for Gordon Brown - I've described him and Blair as two cheeks of the same arse.

George Galloway

#42. That is NOT the arse of a £7million player!

Eamon Dunphy

#43. I always try to remember that praise and a slap on your back is only 6 inches away from a kick up the arse!

Anthony Foley