Paul Krassner Quotes

#1. The real story of our times is seldom told in the horse-puckey-filled memoirs of dopey, self-serving presidents or generals, but in the outrageous, demented lives of guys like Lenny Bruce, Giordano Bruno, Scott Fitzgerald - and Paul Krassner. The burrs under society's saddle. The pains in the ass.

Harlan Ellison

#2. This is a difficult country to look too different in - the United States of Advertising, as Paul Krassner puts it - and if you are too skinny or too tall or dark or weird or short or frizzy or homely or poor or nearsighted, you get crucified. I did. But

Anne Lamott

#3. Avoid internalizing society's sexism, racism, ageism - pick an ism, any ism.

Paul Krassner

#4. In life some people trip and some fall but some take that trip and make a beautiful dance out of it.

Rob Dyrdek

#5. As long as the government can arbitrarily decide which substances are legal and which are illegal, then those who remain behind bars for illegal substances are political prisoners

Paul Krassner

#6. You may be assured that we won't ever let your words die. Like the words of our Master, Jesus Christ, they will live in our minds and our hearts and in the souls of black men and white men, brown men and yellow men as long as time shall last.

Ralph Abernathy

#7. Watch yourself as though you were observing a Martian.

Paul Krassner

#8. When you have an emergency, there is the urge to do whatever it takes to see people get assistance.

Meles Zenawi

#9. Our services serve a specific need.

Lailah Gifty Akita

#10. English is my second language. Laughter is my first.

Paul Krassner

#11. I heard 'Get Lucky'; it's just not my taste. It's great what Daft Punk does and the sound quality is great, but that whole disco vibe is not really my thing.

Tiesto

#12. The artist invites the spectator to take a journey within the realm of the canvas ... Without taking the journey, the spectator has really missed the essential experience of the picture.

Mark Rothko

#13. You can solve all the world's problems in a garden.

Geoff Lawton

#14. One - about cigarettes - I was pleased to see that anticigarette ad on the back issue of Hustler. I'm more offended by seeing ads for cigarettes in magazines than pictures of vaginas, because one kills and the other gives life - and I think that's an important difference.

Paul Krassner

#15. People don't like to be lectured to, but if you can make them laugh, their defenses come down, and for the time being they've accepted whatever truth is embedded in your humor.

Paul Krassner

#16. I obviously enjoy being wealthy. It's enabled me to have a career that I've chosen and not one that I've been forced into.

Jamie Johnson

#17. Screwy," I said. "Is that a medical term?" "Of course.

Ilona Andrews

#18. I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that.

Andrew Dice Clay

#19. In nature there is nothing melancholy

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

#20. For years, reality has been nipping at the heels of satire. Now, it's finally caught up. I don't need to make this stuff up.

Paul Krassner

#21. Irreverence is our only sacred cow.

Paul Krassner

#22. I think [audiences are] more aware now of the contradictions in mainstream culture, the phony piety that permeates society, the inhumane hypocrisy.

Paul Krassner

#23. If you don't stop smiling everyone is going to fall in love with you.

M.F. Moonzajer

#24. When someone uses the phrase 'the prick one', and you know immediately that this is a synonym for the word 'metaphorically', you are entitled to wonder whether you know the speaker too well. You are even entitled to wonder whether you should know her at all.

Nick Hornby

#25. Pope John Paul would be more popular if he called himself Pope John Paul George and Ringo.

Paul Krassner

#26. False humility is better than no humility at all.

Paul Krassner

#27. Since I was both an atheist and an absurdist, I had decided that the most absurd thing I could do would be to develop an intimate relationship with the God I didn't believe in.

Paul Krassner

#28. I am neither for conformity nor non-conformity. I am for individuality. If one's individuality is in effect non-conformity, then so be it. But basically, one's individuality consists of conformity
to one's self.

Paul Krassner

#29. I Used To Believe In Reincarnation, But That Was In a Past Life.

Paul Krassner

#30. There is indeed a business like show business. It's the news.

Paul Krassner

#31. I had become an atheist at the age of thirteen, when atomic bombs were dropped on Japan.

Paul Krassner

#32. I guess I'm a spiritual secularist, if that's not an oxymoron. My paths of secularism and spirituality are the same: I try to do the appropriate thing at each moment.

Paul Krassner

#33. Listen to the speeches, one after another telling the audience what it already knows, evoking applause with necessary cliches, no longer shocking anybody with the shocking facts of the war because you can become so jaded with horror that you develop an emotional callous.

Paul Krassner