Top 26 Partridge Alan Quotes
#1. Meanwhile, for those of you on crowded public transport who chose not to say the words aloud, you'll feel no different, and that's your own fault because, as I say, you lack class and are assholes.
Alan Partridge
#2. Tears streamed down my face. I was so happy I wanted to shout it from the rooftop. But at the same time I knew that that afternoon's downpour would have made the slate tiles so slippery that achieving any kind of purchase would have been impossible.
Alan Partridge
#3. Reading books about gardens is a potent pastime; books nourish a gardener's mind in the same way as manure nourishes plants.
Mirabel Osler
#5. Well suited to those with large shoulders and feet like spades, swimming enjoyed a boost in popularity in Victorian times when, due to advancements in water husbandry, we were able to domesticate H2O, trapping large amounts of it in four-sided pits or 'pools'. I
Alan Partridge
#7. A friend of mine once said he like his women like his parmesan: strong smelling and shaved. I don't agree with that, but I don't like hairy women.
Alan Partridge
#8. Putting a damp spoon back in the bowl is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle. And I did not want to end up with the tea-drinking equivalent of AIDS.
Alan Partridge
#9. 1974 was a crazy, hazy time for Alan Partridge. The Sixties had come to East Anglia and it was a time of free thinking, free love and in my case free university accommodation.
Alan Partridge
#10. I can't bear the smell of cigars, can you?" said Lady Partridge.
"Lionel hates it too," murmured Rachel. As did Nick, to whom the dry lavatorial stench of cigars signified the inexplicable confidence of other men's tastes and habits, and their readiness to impose them on their fellows.
Alan Hollinghurst
#11. Snowflakes fell from the sky like tiny pieces of a snowman who had stood on a landmine.
Alan Partridge
#12. The father, Trevor, was an asthmatic, but what he lacked in being able to breath quietly, he more than made up for with parental skills.
Alan Partridge
#13. Surveillance isn't easy, though. You'll need warm clothes, a camera with telephoto lens, two Thermos flasks (one for tea, t'other for wee) and for God's sake remember your sandwiches.
Alan Partridge
#14. He is also a keen cook, gardener and birder. He has no middle fingers on one hand, so he can't swear but is permanently doing the heavy metal sign.
Alan Partridge
#15. I woke with a start. At first I assumed I'd trumped myself awake again .
Alan Partridge
#16. Her yelling continues until I answer the door to find her on her knees shouting through the letterbox, like a gynaecologist bellowing into a woman.
Alan Partridge
#17. It's so easy to be undisciplined. And to be disciplined is so against my character, my general nature anyway, that I have to strain a little bit to keep on the right track.
Robert Rauschenberg
#18. Hello, Alan." said Carol's dad Keith.
"Hello, Alan." said Carol's mum, Stella, not bothering to think of a greeting of her own.
Alan Partridge
#19. Sadly, I can't say the same for my Father, who is probably in a different place - Hell.
Alan Partridge
#20. For three long days, I felt the cold hand of death on my shoulder. Lost in the depths of despair I tried to figure out what I had done to deserve this. I wasn't an evil person. The worst thing I'd ever done was kick a pig - School trip to Heston Farm, 1964, I maintain it was self-defence.
Alan Partridge
#22. Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit.
Alan Partridge
#23. Beyonce was just always full-out. She's like a beast. So you learn that no matter how you feel, just do it. Just like Nike: 'Just Do It.'
Heather Morris
#24. I love you more than word can wield the matter, Dearer than eye-sight, space and liberty
William Shakespeare
#26. Like the name of a cartoon Belgian detective said in a Scottish accent, it's 10:10.'11 It
Alan Partridge
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