Kids Letterman Quotes

#1. I love the shared experience of watching a movie with my kids. One of the great joys in life is when we're all laughing together, at the same thing.

Rob Letterman

#2. Well, we're just a couple of weeks from new President Barack Obama being sworn in. And he's been very busy naming a lot of cabinet positions. And today he announced that he wants the surgeon general to be TV Dr. Sanjay Gupta. That was the kid on 'American Idol,' wasn't it?

David Letterman

#3. Being a parent and having two young kids, I buy Blu-rays and DVDs all the time. It's like buying a toy.

Rob Letterman

#4. if you look good and dress well, you don't need a purpose in life.

Robert Pante

#5. Sarah Palin, part-time Governor of Alaska, is angry because Michele Obama is encouraging kids to eat healthy. Sarah Palin believes the government shouldn't tell us what to do. Sarah Palin believes she should tell us what to do.

David Letterman

#6. Every day we learn more and more about this wacky Osama bin Laden. He lives in a cave and at one time he was a womanizer. But now he has settled down with his five wives and 26 kids, so that's now all over ... He also had a drinking problem at one time. I believe he went through 'Jihab'

David Letterman

#7. In return for ten minutes of pleasure they design the rest of the day.

Edmund White

#8. Kids in Washington every year have the big Easter egg roll on the White House lawn. The kids found 300 Easter eggs. They also found about 10,000 missing Hillary emails.

David Letterman

#9. Due to budget crunches, Bush has had to scale some of the programs. He has a new program, 'Leave A Couple of Kids Behind.'

David Letterman

#10. Don't kid yourself. Global warming is no joke. Here's how serious global warming has gotten to be in the United States. In this country global warming is so bad, we are now actually starting to warm up to Barry Bonds.

David Letterman

#11. Why isn't there a holiday for all the sad sacks of the world who might actually need a crappy gift or schmaltzy card to cheer them up? I'm waiting for the "Let's All Mope!" day or a "Life Sucks" three-day weekend. Aren't we the ones who really need that box of chocolate?

Kim Askew

#12. I was a big TV kid.When I was a kid, I would go home at 3:00 and watch TV straight through to the end of Letterman at 1:30 in the morning.I was obsessed with comics.And I would watch Jerry Seinfeld and Jay Leno and study them as if it was Tolstoy.

Judd Apatow

#13. I am persuaded, that if any attempt is made to improve the education of the poor, and such an unmanly spirit should guide the resolution of a society or committee for that purpose, it would render the design abortive.

Joseph Lancaster

#14. President Obama is in China. Today he visited the kids who make our cellphones.

David Letterman

#15. What we know about Osama Bin Laden is this: he's worth $300 million, he has five wives and twenty-six kids
and he hates Americans for their "excessive" lifestyle.

David Letterman

#16. Last Halloween I ran out of candy and I had to give the kids nicotine gum.

David Letterman

#17. John Kerry spent the day reading to preschoolers ... and the kids said Kerry actually lacked warmth and failed to articulate a clear message.

David Letterman

#18. The White House has now put together a website for kids. It's a website to teach kids how to manage a budget responsibly. The website is called ' Irony.gov. '

David Letterman

#19. Privately I think that I'm not really somebody who has a network television show. Celebrities are other people - Johnny Carson and Sylvester Stallone. I'm just a kid trying to make a living is the way I feel.

David Letterman

#20. A just fortune awaits the deserving.
[Lat., Fors aequa merentes
Respicit.]

Statius

#21. Here's what the kids get. They get free McDonald's and Kentucky Fried Chicken for a year, and 52 six-packs of Pepsi. And I'm thinking, well, actually, it might be healthier if they were taking steroids.

David Letterman