Jewish Mother Quotes

#1. My mother is the antithesis of a typical Jewish mother, she is very soft-spoken and takes more naps that a cat. As a result, I've always longed for someone to really annoy the shit out of me.

Chelsea Handler

#2. When I listen to the complaints that follow just about every presidential debate, I'm reminded of the well-worn joke about the Jewish mother who buys her son two shirts. When he shows up at dinner wearing one, she says: 'What's the matter? You didn't like the other one?'

Jeff Greenfield

#3. You know how Van Nuys got its name? Well, one day my little old Jewish mother was visiting me, and I took her to the top of the Hollywood Hills and had her view the valley below just at sunset. Well, mama, what would you call that? And she said, Ver nize.

Joey Bishop

#4. I am a Jewish mother. My dying words will be, "Put a jumper on

Amanda Craig

#5. Over protective? a butler in a grade- B movie? someones jewish mother? you got it

Margaret Weis

#6. Mother humor is such a universal theme. I wrote a show called '25 Questions for a Jewish Mother.' I had people coming up to me after the show saying, 'I'm Baptist, and my mother is just like yours.'

Judy Gold

#7. I'd work to make it hip again to spend time in our fabled and fabulous land. But with a Puerto Rican father and a Jewish mother, I would probably be better suited as mayor of New York.

Geraldo Rivera

#8. The child of a Jewish mother was Jewish, and the child of a Jewish father by a non-Jewish woman was not Jewish unless and until formally converted.

Norman Solomon

#9. As scary as it was being raised by one Jewish mother, I have to feel for my kids because they have two Jewish mothers.

Judy Gold

#10. Even a secret agent can't lie to a Jewish mother.

Peter Malkin

#11. You can take the babushka off the Jewish mother and dress her up in a pair of Seven jeans and Marc Jacobs sling-backs, but she's still going to expect a passel of grandkids.

Ayelet Waldman

#12. Naturally, my Jewish mother, like all Jewish mothers, wanted me to be a doctor, or a lawyer... or as she used to say, "Be something!" I wanted to be a cartoonist. Oy vey, a cartoonist was not on her list... I

Gideon Amichay

#13. My mom is a very warm, typical sort of Jewish-mother type. And my dad has a somewhat, um, different personality.

Peter Orszag

#14. My daughter Gabby very kindly once said that she thinks I was a better mother because I was doing a job I loved. I now think guilt is a universal part of being a mother. I used to think it was Jewish-mother guilt but now I think it is working-mother guilt.

Donna Karan

#15. When you have a Jewish mother who has a very strong Jewish family, it's very ethnic in its practices. Eating brisket, the food and the family and the interconnectedness for better or worse.

Goldie Hawn

#16. Creating a meal for my friends and family, sitting together, eating, laughing and talking - that is when I am so happy. Oh my God, if you could see how much food I make - I am the original Jewish mother.

Gwyneth Paltrow

#17. We had a Jewish school; we had a Jewish club. My father was a main donor. My mother was on the committee of the school.

Harry Triguboff

#18. My mother's side is Italian; my father's side is Jewish. We're the kind of family where every Sunday night we have dinner with all 19 of my cousins.

Lea Michele

#19. I don't consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.

Ben Elton

#20. Nothing is sacred. Not even your own mother, not the Jewish martyrs, not even people starving of hunger. Laugh at everything, ferociously, bitterly, to exorcise the old monsters.

Francois Cavanna

#21. I never felt like a good Jew. My mother was not Jewish, and that makes me a non-Jew according to Jewish religious law.

Stephane Hessel

#22. I cried to my mother that I wanted to go to Hebrew school; I wanted Jewish friends. But when my mother took me, the kids there all knew each other, and somehow I was even more of an outcast.

Caroline Leavitt

#23. My dad left when I was a little boy and I grew up with my mother's family. There were foundations in the U.S. where Jewish people got together and sent money to Cuba, so we got some of that. We were a poor family, but I was always a happy kid.

William Levy

#24. You're at a Jewish wedding. How can you tell if it's Orthodox, Reform, or Liberal? A: In an Orthodox wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant. In a Reform wedding, the bride is pregnant. In a Liberal wedding the rabbi is pregnant.

David Minkoff

#25. My father was from a secular Jewish family and my mother from a nominally Christian (Episcopalian) one. They were not religious as adults. They did, however, believe in educating their children about the Bible. They viewed this as an essential part of any education.

Mike Berenstain

#26. I was this kid who had been raised in New York, and now all of a sudden, my mother decided that she was a Jewish divorcee and therefore she should be living in Miami Beach.

Natasha Lyonne

#27. On my mother's side I'm Polish-Jewish, and on my father's side I'm Scottish puffin.

Tamsin Greig

#28. My father is Jewish, and I look exactly like him ... My mother is British, but she's of French extraction.

Joan Collins

#29. My father is from Copenhagen and he lived there until he was in his late 20s. We always grew up with a lot of Danish culture at home. My mother is Jewish but we always celebrated Christmas because we loved the traditions of Danish Christmas.

Scarlett Johansson

#30. My father was the Jewish half of the family, yet it was my mother who taught me to have pride in that tradition.

Gloria Steinem

#31. My father was a Jewish immigrant who settled in Argentina and was left to his own devices at the age of 15. My mother was a teacher, herself the daughter of a poor immigrant family.

Cesar Milstein

#32. I think my father knew how to be Jewish, but he didn't teach us. He must have thought we would absorb it with our mother's milk.

Edith Hahn Beer

#33. My grandmother - my mother's mother - was a German Jewish refugee, an only child who came here from Berlin in 1936 at the age of 17.

Sarah Gavron

#34. I resign," says Velvel. He takes off his glasses, slips them into his pocket, and stands up. He forgot an appointment. He's late for work. His mother is calling him on the ultrasonic frequency reserved by the government for Jewish mothers in the event of lunch.

Michael Chabon

#35. So an autobiography about death should include, in my case, an account of European Jewry and of Russian and Jewish events - pogroms and flights and murders and the revolution that drove my mother to come here.

Harold Brodkey

#36. My mother should have been Jewish. She could have taught a class on how to induce guilt.

Lorna Luft

#37. I do strongly identify with being Jewish. I was raised Orthodox and had a childhood complicated by the fact that my father was deeply religious and my mother was not.

Dani Shapiro

#38. My mother told me once that she and my father agreed that I would not be brought up Jewish in Chicago. She had me going to a Methodist church.

Wesley Clark

#39. 'Cullum' is Scottish, but I'm nowhere near Scottish. My mother is Burmese, and my father is of German, Jewish, English ancestry.

Jamie Cullum

#40. My mother was a Jewish General Patton.

Don Rickles

#41. When I tell people I'm an Italian Jew, they're very amused by it. But obviously by blood I'm Jewish, because my mother is.

Antonio Sabato Jr.

#42. No true Christian can carry within his heart hatred for any of God's children ... I am as aware as any other Christian that our Savior was Jewish, His mother was Jewish. The Apostles were Jewish. The first martyrs were Jewish ... So no true Christian, in my judgment, can be an anti-Semite.

Pat Buchanan

#43. Learning is good in and of itself ... the mothers of the Jewish ghettoes of the east would pour honey on a book so the children would know that learning is sweet. And the parents who settled hungry Kansas would take their children in from the fields when a teacher came.

George H. W. Bush

#44. My mother was born in San Juan. So I'm Puerto Rican, Jewish, colored and married to a white woman. When I move into a neighborhood, people start running four ways at the same time.

Sammy Davis Jr.

#45. My mother's Puerto Rican and my father's Russian-Jewish, so we consider ourselves to be Jewricans or Puertojews. I think Puertojew sounds like a kosher bathroom, so I prefer Jewrican.

Rachel Ticotin

#46. My parents were born and brought up in New York City. My father was trained as an electrical engineer, and my mother was an elementary school teacher. They were the children of Jewish immigrants who had come to the United States from England and Lithuania in the late 1800s.

David Lee

#47. Culture Clash
Dylan says
when I meet his mother today
I shouldn't mention
that I'm Jewish.
I say
okay, but can I
tell her about
the HIV postive thing?
He gives me a look.
I give him one back

Sonya Sones

#48. One Jewish lady was talking to the neighbor, and she said, "The psychoanalyst who is treating my son has said that my son suffers from an Oedipus complex." And the neighbor lady said, "Oedipus schmoedipus! Doesn't matter as long as he is a good boy and loves his mother!

Osho

#49. As I was growing up, you know, I'm a white Jewish American born to Holocaust parents. My father fled Nazi Germany in 1939 and my mother's family had fled the czars of Russia before that.

Eugene Jarecki

#50. -"What's that for?"
-"Have a little bread with your ice cream," she told me.

Astrid Amara

#51. And scars will lighten, they'll pale unless you keep rubbing at them...wait long enough, they'll fade.

C.F. Joyce

#52. My mother's father was Jewish, so she was very conservative. She liked little, pretty music-orchestral-type things.

Andrae Crouch

#53. I grew up in Queens, in New York City, in a middle class Jewish family. My mother was a public school teacher, my father was a lawyer. They were Democrats - kind of middle-of-the-road democrats.

Elliott Abrams

#54. At age 11, I went to a Jewish school. I speak Yiddish. I'm Church of England Protestant. My father was Catholic, and my mother was Protestant. My wife is a Muslim.

Michael Caine

#55. My mother's mother is Jewish and African, so I guess that would be considered Creole. My mother's father was Cherokee Indian and something else. My dad's mother's Puerto Rican and black, and his father was from Barbados.

Meagan Good

#56. It's true that I wouldn't have written the first book had my sister and mother been alive. It was my way of continuing our conversation. It's also this Jewish thing of naming and remembering people, and I think there is a sense of keeping that side of life going.

Nigella Lawson