Top 100 Jerry's Quotes
#1. I have a problem with that silver medal. It's like, 'Congratulation s, you almost won. Of all the losers, you're the number one loser. No one lost ahead of you.'
Jerry Seinfeld
#2. To have a girl two thousand miles away going to pieces over you, weeping at the mere memory of you, losing her appetite, losing herself and her self respect - well, that's a trophy enough for a guy's ego, huh?
Jerry Spinelli
#3. We are continuing to look for ways that we can do something that's good for both of us. Good for both of us being the Cowboys relative to relief as to our cap management and good for him that would maybe be some pluses for him on his contract.
Jerry Jones
#5. It's false. There is absolutely no evidence that extreme weather events are on the increase. None. The argument that more and more dollar damages accrue is a reflection of the greater amount of wealth we've created.
Jerry Taylor
#6. Microsoft has gotten so big that it can put out a Preview that will install itself without checking first to see if it has expired. The message here is that Microsoft's time is worth more than yours ... no start-up company could get away with being that arrogant.
Jerry Pournelle
#7. Comedy is a man in trouble. And without it, there's no humor.
Jerry Lewis
#8. Let's promise to each other that if we ever meet again we will never plow and push our new-fallen snow. We will not become slush. We will stay like this field and melt away together only in the sun's good time.
Jerry Spinelli
#9. Thomas is racing for it, but McCovey is there and can't get his glove to it. That play shows the inexperience, not on Thomas' part, but on the part of Willie McC ... well, not on McCovey's part either.
Jerry Coleman
#11. If nearly two-thirds of Americans will accept a scientific fact only if it's not in clear conflict with their faith, then their worldview
Jerry A. Coyne
#12. I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don't these idiots who run the news programs know we don't want to read? That's why we're watching TV.
Jerry Seinfeld
#13. A chef who doesn't wash his hands is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help.
Jerry Seinfeld
#14. I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge.
Jerry Seinfeld
#15. It's basically taking a 911 call, bringing them on stage and dealing with it just like when I was a Chicago policeman for 12 years. I personally become involved. Where Jerry lets people tell their story and lets everything happen on stage, I kind of go after the bad guy and protect the little guy.
Steve Wilkos
#16. AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.
Jerry Falwell
#17. If you're not having fun - I don't care what you're doing - don't do it. Move on. Find something else, life's too short.
Jerry Doyle
#18. I think there's a phenomenon of people who want to be around something that seems "dangerous." It makes them feel more real.
Jerry Stahl
#19. According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Jerry Seinfeld
#20. Even now, my husband Jerry, our son Matthew and I live only five minutes away from my parents home, and my brothers live about ten minutes away. It's been great having such a supportive family.
Nancy Kerrigan
#21. I saw Brahms's Hungarian Rhapsody on television when I was two. Tom and Jerry were playing it together. I thought, 'Hey, if a cat can play like that, why can't I?'
Lang Lang
#22. All over the world I'm known. Whenever I go out on the street people come up to me and say ... 'Hi, Beave,' and that doesn't bother me at all. It's something that I embrace.
Jerry Mathers
#23. Whos love do you cherrish more? Hers or theirs? when you deside that, it's all downhill from there.
Jerry Spinelli
#24. It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.
Jerry Coleman
#25. Let me tell you something. Boring women get a bad rap. There's a lot to be said for boring women.
Jerry Stahl
#26. Our music's kind of about taking something ugly and making it beautiful.
Jerry Cantrell
#27. We've become a country that is often risk averse. That's not the way to succeed.
Jerry Moran
#28. My first tattoo is a full-on Sailor Jerry situation on my hip - it's a swallow with big spread wings. When I got it I was 20 on St. Mark's Place in New York; I just walked in in a frenzy. It's still there 17 years later and it's not a terrible thing to look at.
Maria Dahvana Headley
#29. Our songs did not transcend being R&B hits. They were R&B hits that white kids were attracted to. And if people bought it, it became rock & roll. That's marketing. Why couldn't it still be R&B? The bass pattern didn't change. The song didn't change. It was still 'Yakety Yak' and 'Searchin'.'
Jerry Leiber
#30. I think the Canadian Football League is a great league, but it's not the NFL, and I'm not Jerry Rice.
Darren Flutie
#31. Speaking of birthday suits, I think Mae Young's needs ironing!
Jerry Lawler
#33. The whole global warming thing is created to destroy America's free enterprise system and our economic stability.
Jerry Falwell
#34. And then I met Jerry and he's such a creative fiction writer, and I don't know if there's ever been a team put together the way we are - where one person does the theological way out and suggestions, and the other person goes into the cave and does the fiction writing.
Tim LaHaye
#35. Being on a sitcom stops me from getting Alzheimer's.
Jerry Stiller
#36. There's never any ability to plan a personal life.
Jerry Kleczka
#37. Civil rights for all Americans, black, white, red, yellow, the rich, poor, young, old, gay, straight, et cetera, is not a liberal or a conservative value. It's an American value that I would think that we pretty much all agree on.
Jerry Falwell
#38. 'Hound Dog' took like twelve minutes. That's not a complicated piece of work. But the rhyme scheme was difficult. Also the metric structure of the music was not easy. 'Kansas City' was maybe eight minutes, if that. Writing the early blues was spontaneous. You can hear the energy in the work.
Jerry Leiber
#39. I can say with unwavering certitude that I have never started a pint of Ben 'n Jerry's ice cream that I didn't finish in its entirety within 6 minutes.
Gregor Collins
#40. Many things happened in the sixties, but the period is no more significant, better, or more 'political' than today. It's time to turn the page.
Jerry Saltz
#41. Wolfgang Tillman's stunning large-scale pictures, being shown for the first time, were so offhand I failed to see them as art.
Jerry Saltz
#42. The purpose of God's discipline is not to punish us but to transform us.
Jerry Bridges
#43. We obey God's Law, not to be loved but because we are loved in Christ.
Jerry Bridges
#44. God's love to us cannot fail any more than His love to Christ can fail.
Jerry Bridges
#45. And it's a long drive down the line to centerfield.
Jerry Coleman
#46. I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not gonna make the team.
Jerry Seinfeld
#47. Run faster, jump higher, reach farther, and you'll always win!
live life expecting the worst, hoping for the best, and living for the future!
Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.
Jerry Garcia
#48. I think it's too bad that everybody's decided to turn on drugs, I don't think drugs are the problem. Crime is the problem. Cops are the problem. Money's the problem. But drugs are just drugs.
Jerry Garcia
#49. There's all that brain work involved, remembering all those lines in a script. I find I have to eat a lot of fish, late - but not too late - in the afternoon. Doing theatre, you need to be like an athlete in training.
Jerry Hall
#50. I mean, it's pretty hard to fight and hate and be angry when you're making music, isn't it?
Jerry Reed
#51. There's still a place for someone to come up with a strong headline, some copy in a commercial that's well written. I'm not saying it was better in the old days; it's just a totally different way of communicating.
Jerry Della Femina
#52. Why does McDonald's have to count every burger that they sell? What is their ultimate goal? Do they want cows to surrender voluntarily?
Jerry Seinfeld
#53. Sometimes, it's like you know what people think: You know what they're thinking, and you know it's wrong. All you want to do if change their mind, but you can't.
Jerry Stahl
#54. The fact is Jerry Weintraub, the handsome, bearish movie producer, the man with the long career, who worked with Arthur Godfrey and Elvis Presley and Frank Sinatra and George Clooney, is a great storyteller - he's this as much as he's anything else. He takes time telling stories, too.
Rich Cohen
#55. It's much easier for a middle class Indian entrepreneur to start up a computer company than it is for an Indian company to build roads and transportation systems suitable for a population that is getting wealthier and demanding more basic services.
Jerry A. Webman
#56. His voice carried authority the way Ben & Jerry's carries calories.
Stephen White
#57. You be you and I'll be me, today and today and today, and let's trust the future to tomorrow. Let the stars keep track of us. let us ride our own orbits and trust that they will meet. May our reunion be not a finding but a sweet collision of destinies! Love and Love and Love Again, Stargirl.
Jerry Spinelli
#58. To remember no more is God's way of expressing absolute forgiveness.
Jerry Bridges
#59. There's no Ben & Jerry's in the netherworld. It's a crime.
Anonymous
#60. Supernatural explanations always mean the end of inquiry: that's the way God wants it, end of story. Science, on the other hand, is never satisfied: our studies of the universe will continue until humans go extinct.
Jerry A. Coyne
#61. Through that, I got to know Jerry's work, and I am definitely his number-one fan right now, which is interesting because it usually works the other way around: you usually create a project based on your hero.
Sean Hayes
#62. With us, it's a very specific audience. If you like steak, this is it for you.
Jerry Only
#63. Well, I feel that we're kind of fortunate that this book gives the whole world a lesson in economics and how to get out of the mess that we're all in. It's basic message is to try and stop spending as much and try to release some of your assets to pay off your debt.
Jerry Bruckheimer
#64. Today's merger makers are not ad people; they're building communications companies.
Jerry Della Femina
#65. Yeah, you're sitting in a tree because you're fine. That's easy to see. I can't believe this is Maximum Ride, destroyer of despots, warrior hottie, leader of the flock! All you need now to make yourself more pathetic is a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream!
James Patterson
#66. I like Scott Caan. I think he's a great young kid. I think he's gonna have a really huge career.
Jerry Weintraub
#67. We have common enemies today. It's called childhood poverty. It's called cancer. It's called AIDS. It's called Parkinson's. It's called Muscular Dystrophy.
Jerry Doyle
#68. And there's a lot of that stuff with people bringing their kids, kids bringing their parents, people bringing their grandparents - I mean, it's gotten to be really stretched out now. It was never my intention to say, this is the demographics of our audience.
Jerry Garcia
#70. Sounds kind of ad hoc and jerry-rigged and haphazard.' 'Everybody's a critic. This wasn't an aesthetic endeavor.
David Foster Wallace
#71. The only thing I care about is winning. That's all. If you don't want to win, you don't want to be around me.
Jerry West
#72. Whistle through your teeth and spit cuz, it's Alright
Jerry Garcia
#73. I treat politics kind of like my religion. It's something I believe in, but I don't want to have to make a living at it, because if you make a living at it, you somehow become dishonest.
Jerry Springer
#74. I would say if you want to write, write what you care about. I think that's the most important thing. I think if you write what you care about, you stand a better chance of having the reader care about your story.
Jerry Spinelli
#75. You want to do good things, and once you've done a couple of good things in a row, you think 'Well gee, let's not mess this up.' But I am lucky at this point that I have something I really love to do, and it completely holds my attention. I never feel frustrated by it.
Jerry Seinfeld
#76. When I first called Jerry Wexler, the man everybody most associates with Berns's career, and told him I planned to work on this book, Wexler's affable tone disappeared. "I'll tell you this," he said. "I don't know where he's buried, but if I did, I would piss on his grave.
Joel Selvin
#78. God's grace does not operate on a reward for works basis. It is much better than that.
Jerry Bridges
#79. Nearly a half-century on from feminism, simply being a woman artist is still a revolutionary act. And getting one's work shown continues to be met by enormous inbuilt resistance.
Jerry Saltz
#80. Jerry Bruckheimer is the most hands-on producer that I've worked with. Jerry's very involved in the music, and he's such a fan of film. When you watch him playing back the cues to the picture, he's like a kid in a candy store.
Trevor Rabin
#81. Jerry Rice had won two Super Bowls already by the time he got to his ninth year in the league. That's what it's all about: winning that ring.
Larry Fitzgerald
#83. As we approached each other, the noise and the students around us melted away and we were utterly alone, passing, smiling, holding each other's eyes, floors and walls gone, two people in a universe of space and stars.
Jerry Spinelli
#84. The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones to them. "This guy is nuts-talking about socks. Where's the wife jokes, where's the fat jokes?"
Jerry Seinfeld
#85. There's no way that moving in with your parents is a sign that your life is on track.
Jerry Seinfeld
#86. People think I'm against critics because they are negative to my work. That's not what bothers me. What bothers me is they didn't see the work. I have seen critics print stuff about stuff I cut out of the film before we ran it. So don't tell me about critics.
Jerry Lewis
#87. You spend so much time in the world of virtual that the actual - which nothing is more actual than stand-up - it's a painful experience for the audience, and the comedian a lot of time - we miss that.
Jerry Seinfeld
#88. I've compiled a book from the Internet. It's a book of quotations attributed to the wrong people.
Jerry Seinfeld
#89. Nobody can make a movie as exciting as Jerry Bruckheimer. When it's a Jerry Bruckheimer movie that it's going to have lots of chrome and gloss, it's going to be sexy, and it's going to be big and fun.
Nicolas Cage
#90. Grace ... expresses two complementary thoughts: God's unmerited favor to us through Christ, and God's divine assistance to us through the Holy Spirit.
Jerry Bridges
#91. Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
Jerry Seinfeld
#92. The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
Jerry Seinfeld
#93. It's not how many tickets can we sell, it's where do we want to play, not where should we play to make the most money. We don't really care about that.
Jerry Only
#94. I think the cartoons that they're children are watching, particularly 'The Simpsons,' they're OK. I think that the adult audience is making much too much of the danger that they imply. That's not the case. The danger for children today, honey, is the news. Keep them away from news on television.
Jerry Lewis
#95. And Warner Bros. seems to be pretty much into re-releasing all of their catalog. So there's the Warner Bros. stuff and the stuff that we have control over, we're gradually re-releasing it. Some stuff we don't have control over.
Jerry Garcia
#96. All of the Rolling Stones' children are my children's best friends.
Jerry Hall
#97. Lise: Paris has ways of making people forget. Jerry: Paris? No, not this city. It's too real and too beautiful. It never lets you forget anything. It reaches in and opens you wide, and you stay that way.
Leslie Caron
#98. Now people look at 'The Scream' or Van Gogh's 'Irises' or a Picasso and see its new content: money. Auction houses inherently equate capital with value.
Jerry Saltz
#99. He's a seminal force, a guru, an original creator of the New Orleans piano style.. the teacher of great players like Fats Domino, Allen Toussaint, Mac Rebenack, James Booker, and Huey Smith. All acknowledge him as The Great Master.
Jerry Wexler
#100. And that's another piece of advice I'll give junior writers; when you get to the point where they take you to lunch, let the editor suggest where to go.
Jerry Pournelle
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