Jeff Dunham Achmed The Dead Terrorist Quotes

#1. 16Keep your eyes on the ground ... you never know what's down there.

Anonymous

#2. Riches are shy and timid. They have to be attracted.

Napoleon Hill

#3. So I take my lover, my king, and I put him in a pedestal and I cut him down. A man, like the ones who ruined the world.

Alaya Dawn Johnson

#4. The adolescent is the one who wants to experience everything. The adult comes to realize you can't experience everything.

Eric Jensen

#5. All I want is for you to stand here and watch the people you love be horribly mutilated. Is that too much to ask?

Brenna Yovanoff

#6. The times I've tried not to be funny, it's never worked, and the times I'm trying not to be dark and just be funny, that never works, either. As varied as my subject matter is, I think the worldview is pretty consistent: seeing darkness and seeing humor.

Rebecca Makkai

#7. Sire," Oliver said as he helped Petunia to her feet, "I'd like to marry Petunia.
"Of course you would," retorted the King Gregor. "But not right now! we just got those two taken care of." He pointed to the twins who were still trying to play Christian's odd game. "And weddings are expensive!

Jessica Day George

#8. They're all the rage, Cab Calloway wears one.

Spike Milligan

#9. You may compliment my cock, you may beg, and you may politely ask for more. I don't want to hear anything else.

Krista Ritchie

#10. Achmed 'Two Jews walk into a bar'
No no no no no' Jeff
You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard' Achmed"
-Achmed the dead terrorist and Jeff

Jeff Dunham

#11. If we all desire love and acceptance, shouldn't we love and accept all others?

Rob Liano

#12. Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Knock, knock.
Jeff Dunham: Who's there?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Me, I kill you!

Jeff Dunham

#13. After I came home from the 1936 Olympics with my four medals, it became increasingly apparent that everyone was going to slap me on the back, want to shake my hand or have me up to their suite. But no one was going to offer me a job.

Jesse Owens

#14. I made her promise to write, but artists are artists, not writers. She did send postcards, though: a lot of postcards - sometimes

Anita Diamant

#15. Nothing could be a more serious violation of public trust than to consciously make a war based on false claims.

Wesley Clark

#16. A society which is mobile, which is full of channels for the distribution of a change occurring anywhere, must see to it that its members are educated to personal initiative and adaptability.

John Dewey

#17. My life collapsed. People ran from me because suddenly it was 'Oh my God! It's over for her now!'

Nicole Kidman