Top 16 Achmed Quotes
#1. Achmed 'Two Jews walk into a bar'
No no no no no' Jeff
You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard' Achmed"
-Achmed the dead terrorist and Jeff
Jeff Dunham
#2. So Achmed if you've been in my suitcase this entire time how have you been getting through security? Oh thats easy they open the suitcase and i say 'ello my name is lindey lohan!
Jeff Dunham
#3. Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Knock, knock.
Jeff Dunham: Who's there?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Me, I kill you!
Jeff Dunham
#4. Achmed: Two Jews walk into a bar...
Jeff: No no no no no
Achmed: You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard.
Jeff Dunham
#5. Shut up or i'll kill you by Achmed the dead tarries.
Jeff Dunham
#6. Korean cinema is very improvisational, and there is a unique power that stems from this.
Bae Doona
#7. Being green and clean is not just an aspiration but an action.
Christine Pelosi
#8. You start to feel panic, because you realise that human beings are possessed by the idea that they must fill the world with objects and ideas that will outlive them, and you suddenly glimpse the fires that burn below human despair.
Greg Baxter
#9. If there comes a little thaw, Still the air is chill and raw, Here and there a patch of snow, Dirtier than the ground below, Dribbles down a marshy flood; Ankle-deep you stick in mud In the meadows while you sing, This is Spring.
Christopher Pearse Cranch
#11. Thanks to the greatest invention of recent years, the MP3-playing alarm clock, I can now choose the song that wakes me up in the morning.
Rob Sheffield
#12. A happy ending. Huh. I thought that was why we were here. Now. Five hundred years into Earth's future. So we could start over, and live happily-ever-after. It wasn't turning out that way, was it?
A.B. Shepherd
#13. Every woman is only one bad boyfriend or one bad choice away from the street. And she's only one good choice back to the path that will lead her home.
Alice Hoffman
#14. A Spaniard will seek to persuade you that the bull-ring is an institution got up chiefly for the benefit of the bull.
Jerome K. Jerome
#15. I don't know what it says about me that I have a greater affinity with the damaged. Probably nothing good.
Tracy Letts
#16. It might seem that an egg which has succeeded in being fresh has done all that can reasonably be expected of it.
Henry James
