Japanese Humor Quotes

#1. Is it white wine? Red tastes like vinegar.'

'Of course it's white wine, I'm Japanese.

Natasha Pulley

#2. I admire some people for their brilliance and I respect others for their strength. But I am indebted to those who can rekindle my spirit.

Steve Goodier

#3. There are other ways to get back at your phone you know, if it's being naughty, you could simply make it communicate in Japanese,put it on silent, or even take away its battery privileges.

Holly Denham

#4. When the first big paycheque with 'Dumb And Dumber' hit, I went: 'Gosh, I wonder if this will affect my performance. Will I do a take and think, was that worth $7 million?' But that never happened. If anything, it made me rebel against that thing when people who get rich start playing it safe.

Jim Carrey

#5. What's that?' Thaniel said, curious. The postmarks and stamps weren't English or Japanese.

'A painting. There's a depressed Dutchman who does countryside scenes and flowers and things. It's ugly, but I have to maintain the estates in Japan and modern art is a good investment.

Natasha Pulley

#6. A series of howls and war cries echoed through the camp ... The werewolves and Japanese had attacked.
-pg.353 Forbidden Nights with a Vampire Kerrelyn Sparks

Kerrelyn Sparks

#7. Among the Dagara, darkness is sacred. It is forbidden to illuminate it, for light scares the Spirit away ... . The one exception to this rule is the bonfire.

Malidoma Patrice Some

#8. My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.

Chic Murray

#9. The future is like a Japanese game show,
you never know what's going on.

Tracy Jordan

#10. Maybe he was what Lucian would have turned out to be if the old sheriff hadn't have lived in such interesting times. A couple of years in a Japanese prison camp might be just what Turk needed. But I didn't have a bridge over the river Kwai for him to build so we had to settle for Powder Junction.

Craig Johnson

#11. I had a dream about you last night. In this dream we were walking down the beautiful Japanese streets of Florida. Fukuoka is nice in the summer.

Rodney Jenkins

#12. A person can grow only as much as his horizon allows.

John Powell

#13. O-suzu left whatever work she was doing at her sewing machine and dragged Takeo back to O-yoshi and her son.
How dare you behave so selfishly! Now tell O-yoshi-san that you are sorry. Get down on the mats and make a proper bow!

Ryunosuke Akutagawa

#14. Gracie: You have an unusual house. Have you lived here long?
Bobby Tom: A couple of years. I don't much like it myself, but the architect is real proud of it. She calls it urban Stone Age with a Japanese Tahitian influence. I sort of just call it ugly.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#15. There are two ways of being unhappy. Not getting what you want is one. Getting what you want is the other.

Eckhart Tolle

#16. The Japanese island of Okunoshima, also called "Rabbit Island" after the many furry inhabitants who live there, was once home to Japan's poison gas factories. The rabbits are descendants of ones used for chemical testing during World War II.

Cary McNeal

#17. This is humor: A Japanese woman experiences discomfort in her eye, so she goes to see a qualified ophthalmologist. After a thorough examination, the doctor tells the Japanese woman that she has a cataract. She says, 'No, I don't. I have a Lincoln Continental.

Lee Goldberg

#18. It struck Yuki as almost comic that humans drew lines on the globe, and on both sides of those lines raised up armies. Then they fought and died to take possession of...what? Hills. Yuki knew he had to fight, and had to win, but that didn't make war anything to be proud of.

Dean Hughes

#19. Gingerly, Daniel reached toward the infant. "What if she doesn't like me?"

"She'll spit acid in your eye and you'll die a horrible death," Kara joked.

Jacqueline Diamond

#20. I think that novels that leave out technology misrepresent life as badly as Victorians misrepresented life by leaving out sex.

Kurt Vonnegut

#21. The best way to tell whether the Norwegian is a Norwegian is to say:
"Are you Swedish?"
Regardless whether you say this in English, French, Italian, Japanese, Urdu or Swahili, he will answer:
"Swedish? Me? I'm a Norwegian!"
Then you will be able to tell.

Odd Borretzen

#22. Coincidentally, a good age for a Japanese girl is younger than twenty five, because that's when she turns into a 'Christmas Cake'. Christmas cakes, as everyone knows, are desirable before the twenty fifth but afterward quickly become stale and are put on the shelf.

Andrew Davidson

#23. Jake Sullivan, elder of the Grimnoir Society, kept the sword and watched the sunrise. Someday he would pass it to his son. END

Anonymous

#24. I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.

Jasper Fforde

#25. You don't need a uniform color: We used a mixture of brick red, browns and grays, and then threw in seashells, branches and various types of rock, so our walls ended up looking like cave paintings!

Randy Bachman

#26. There was a man of the cloth - Reverend Shibata of the First Baptist Church - who left urging everyone to forgive and forget. There was a man in a shiny brown suit - fry cook Kanda of Yabu Noodle - who left urging Reverend Shibata to give it a rest.

Julie Otsuka

#27. The best way to learn Japanese is to be born as a Japanese baby, in Japan, raised by a Japanese family.

Dave Barry

#28. I love crafting. Knitting, decoupage, scrapbooking, any "lady-ish" art form, I'm a fan. For about six months each. Then I shove all the supplies in a closet, alongside the skeletons of long dead New Year's resolutions, like saber fencing, playing the ukulele, and Japanese brush painting.

Felicia Day

#29. He had been inspired to start a career in the porn industry after reading the incredible tale of a Japanese man who avenged the death of his sister by going down on her best friend for seven days and seven nights.

Mark Jackman

#30. In June 2002, I had just finished 'Laurel Canyon' and decided to move back to Los Angeles after nearly a decade in New York. Post-9/11 New York felt different.

Lisa Cholodenko