Lee Goldberg Quotes

#1. Julie nearly fainted when I showed up at home that night with the new Lexus. The first thing she wanted to do was drive it. I let her drive all over San Francisco with the windows rolled up, because we didn't want to lose one precious whiff of that new-car smell.

Lee Goldberg

#2. Happiness is an illusion, Natalie. It doesn't actually exist."
"Of course it does," I said. "It's what you feel when you're not sad."
"That's unconsciousness. And I'm pretty sure that I'm miserable when I am unconscious, too.

Lee Goldberg

#3. Standing up for what you believe in comes at a price but backing down exacts a toll that your soul never stops paying

Lee Goldberg

#4. The state of California itself was now just like me - a free-spirited liberal with a mostly sunny disposition teetering on the edge of financial ruin. (Natalie Teeger)

Lee Goldberg

#5. Of course, that rationalization didn't work at all. It would have helped if I'd had some Oreo cookie ice cream to eat that the same time. I've learned that self-delusion is much easier when there's something sweet in your mouth.

Lee Goldberg

#6. When I arrived, he was in the kitchen, in the middle of his Sunday morning ritual of cleaning his cleaning supplies.

Lee Goldberg

#7. They were all puppets, animated by the properties, responsibilities, and relationships they were tied to,

Lee Goldberg

#8. During a Middle East peace talk you insulted the Iraqi ambassador." "He was a pervert who liked little girls.

Lee Goldberg

#9. Nipples are a fact of life. We all have them.

Lee Goldberg

#10. When a bird crapped on my window, he called 911.

Lee Goldberg

#11. This is humor: A Japanese woman experiences discomfort in her eye, so she goes to see a qualified ophthalmologist. After a thorough examination, the doctor tells the Japanese woman that she has a cataract. She says, 'No, I don't. I have a Lincoln Continental.

Lee Goldberg

#12. Numbers are a lot like people. They each have a story. They interact with one another. They entertain. They inform. They deceive. They can create happiness or inflict enormous pain. You have to know how to get them to talk.

Lee Goldberg

#13. Guilt and fear are a kind of rot. It spreads unless it's cleaned. And there's only one way to do that.

Lee Goldberg

#14. You're owed a refund on your manhood.

Lee Goldberg