Irish Jokes Sayings

#1. When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don't think I can be above it all.

Jasper Carrott

#2. There's no such thing as a superhuman. But the only thing I got to tell you, if you take a dog and kick him around he's got to be alert, he's got to be more sharper than you. Well, we've been kicked around for two thousand years. We're not more smarter, we're more alert.

Mordecai Richler

#3. For generations comedians have made jokes about Scots-Irish in the South inter-breeding. "I am my own grandpa" and all that stuff; you know, because they all were marrying their first cousins.

Ishmael Reed

#4. High School is the penalty for transgressions yet to be specified.

Frank Portman

#5. James Morrison just had a new album come out and I think he's incredible. I'd love to work with him, his voice is insane.

Kevin McHale

#6. No point in imagining anything," said Granny. "Things are bad enough as they are.

Terry Pratchett

#7. I won't even pretend I didn't care. I wanted to win. I mean, if you don't care about winning the competition, why show up?

Justin Bieber

#8. I like your sister. A lot."
I look at him dumbly.
He looks at me, lowers his voice to say, "I like you.

Sophie Jordan

#9. It is my growing conviction that my life belongs to others just as much as it belongs to myself and that what is experienced as most unique often proves to be most solidly embedded in the common condition of being human.

Henri J.M. Nouwen

#10. She thought she was a feminist. She was only bad tempered.

Hari Kunzru

#11. The worship of God is, Honouring his gifts in other men each according to his genius, and loving the greatest men best; those who envy or calumniate great men hate God, for there is no other God.

William Blake

#12. Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely turn their backs on their historical dishes, no matter how many jokes they might have to endure.

Nick Clooney

#13. Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.

Frank Carson

#14. As long as I could forever stay his little princess.

Ellen Hopkins

#15. Aftera brief silence, Kenzie said, "Don't you believe in second chances?"
The room seemed a little colder, a little darker, as if a shadow had passed over the sun.
"Sonny Lee always said, 'Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

Cinda Williams Chima

#16. I often thought my gravestone would say, 'Here lies Gandalf. He came out,'

Ian McKellen

#17. No, Lil," he tells me with a short laugh. "You're the opposite. You're my stability ... my home.

Krista Ritchie

#18. I'm Irish, so I'm messing all the time. Which means, I'm having a laugh. I'm always making jokes.

Saoirse Ronan

#19. The realization of a sustainable economic development strategy for Maine's Native American communities has always been a priority and a critical element of my administration's overall economic development strategy.

John Baldacci

#20. Sin claims to free but in fact it kills.

Mark Dever