If I Were A Boy Funny Quotes

#1. I was raised a nice Jewish boy in a Conservative household. Went to Camp Ramah. It's funny actually. I think I enacted my queerness there unconsciously. I was kind of one of the weirdos. I was on staff and definitely interested in alternatives to what that social structure was supposed to be.

Jay Michaelson

#2. When he woke, daylight was coming through the glass floor, and a boy's voice said, Oh ... You are in so much trouble.

Rick Riordan

#3. If you were half as funny as you thought you were, my boy, you'd be twice as funny as you are.

Cassandra Clare

#4. Calypso: "You think it's funny to send me this ... this charbroiled runt of a boy to ruin my tranquility? This is NOT FUNNY! take him back!"
Leo: "Hey, sunshine, I'm right here you know ... "
Calypso: "Do NOT call me sunshine!

Rick Riordan

#5. Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.

Noel Fielding

#6. Until I was about 14, I was a fat boy, or at least I looked like a fat boy. I think that being funny was a bit of a defence mechanism for me, so I ended up being a bit of a joker.

Pippa Evans

#7. It's so funny because you think you're attracted to this bad boy. They do whatever they want, but you don't really want that. You don't want someone who's out on a tour bus, sleeping around with different people and getting wasted.

Malin Akerman

#8. The funny thing is that my husband couldn't be sweeter. He looks like this bad boy. He's got tattoos and earrings and a mohawk, but when you talk to him and he's around you, he's such a gentleman. He holds doors for ladies. He pulls out chairs. He cooks. He cleans.

Malin Akerman

#9. When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.

Mitch Hedberg

#10. A 66-YEAR-OLD woman has become the oldest new mum in Britain after giving birth to a baby boy. I'm amazed she needed to have a caesarean section though, you'd think at 66 she would have needed some masking tape down there just to stop it falling out.

Frankie Boyle

#11. How do you do it?" I asked. "You had five minutes to get ready."
"Always prepared." Vee shot me a grin. "I'm a Boy Scout's dream.

Becca Fitzpatrick

#12. When I set out from the boy's attic window, my head was so full of competing plans and complex stratagems that I didn't look where I was going and flew straight into a chimney.
Something symbolic in that. It's what fake freedom does for you.

Jonathan Stroud

#13. I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.

Dane Cook

#14. Funny, when i was a little boy I wanted to be good. But I could never seem to manage it somehow. And if you're not good, the good people will throw you to the wolves. So you might as well just be bad

C.J. Sansom

#15. When I was a kid we were so poor, if I hadn't been a boy I wouldn't have had anything to play with.

Rodney Dangerfield

#16. Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say ... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of ... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like ... after "I love you" ... or "You're going to live" ... or "It's a boy!

Demetri Martin

#17. Mr. Morrow, IOI owns this network ... " "Of course they do!" Morrow shouted gleefully. 'The own practically everything! Including you, pretty boy! I mean did they tattoo a UPC code on your ass when they hired you to sit there and spout their corporate propaganda?

Ernest Cline

#18. Manners, boy. I'll beat them into you if I have to.

Lori Foster

#19. I have a 10 year old boy and a 6 year old boy and the stuff that they watch, it's always ... I mean, it could be because we're a funny family, but they love the humor and combining humor with space action, I mean, you know, there's a winner right there.

Rhys Darby

#20. Billy is a funny, cheeky, lovely boy and I love being with him. Parenthood is terrifying though. I can barely walk past a building without panicking that it's going to collapse on his head.

Rufus Sewell

#21. I always loved that boy as if he'd been my
my
my own grandfather.

Charles Dickens

#22. Boy, you knock on the devil's door and he will head slam you through the wall.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#23. Leonard had let them go alone with the young boy who Ali was now convinced, was a couple falafel's short of a picnic

L.R. Currell

#24. In a man, I like funny guys. A guy who doesn't have a lot of therapy, who's mature. A man, not a boy.

Maura Tierney

#25. As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.

Woody Allen

#26. Anything you say can and will be used against you, so only say my name.

Fall Out Boy

#27. Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn't it?"
Michelle said dryly.
"That the boy most likely to become the next Unabomber has a crush on you?

Carla Cassidy

#28. Don't put your wand there, boy! ... Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!

J.K. Rowling

#29. It's like this, dear boy, the one in front is blind and the kind one behind is pushing him.

Noel Coward

#30. I reach up and pat them both on the head. Poor things. If you had a boy that looked like Logan, you'd be kissing him every chance you had, too.

C.J. Redwine

#31. Alexander? Fine. I'll leave you alone so you can call Lover Boy back." "Stop calling him that." Once he was gone, she punched her pillow a few times. It was funny that Sam thought she could have any man she wanted. If she were just looking for guys who wanted to hang out

CrushStar Romance

#32. What's the matter, fairy boy? Pissed because Chrys rather kiss me?" - Essence (Nymphs of Macedonia Trilogy #1)

Racheal Renwick

#33. Me: "Ngh"
Cal: "Well put."
...... Every Boy's Got One

Meg Cabot

#34. I don't miss much about my childhood. I lived in a good neighborhood, a wacky neighborhood. It was a very boy-heavy neighborhood - kind of Lord of the Flies-y. So many weird things happened, funny things.

Justin Theroux