Top 100 If I Was Quotes
#1. If I was in office, I'd get together all the chiefs and all the heads and chiefs of staffs of all the countries and explain to them like, 'This is how it's going to be. We need y'all oil and water. Y'all need our money and technology. Now, what y'all gon' do?'
Trick Daddy
#2. I always thought that I was lazy because I could never tell if I was working or not. I was making things, which doesn't seem like work.
Ari Marcopoulos
#3. As a girl, I was always told I was nasty or dirty if I was sexual in any way. Americans are such prudes.
Jessica Alba
#4. If I was going to pick one person in the world to reattach my head, I'd pick you
Rick Riordan
#5. Sancho Panza by name is my own self, if I was not changed in my cradle.
Miguel De Cervantes
#6. If I was a cynic I would be wondering if sooner or later some charismatic douche-bag might stomp all over this Little House on the Prairie dream of yours.
Stephen Baxter
#7. I was tested for a reason I was put on trial to see if I was worthy
Cameo Renae
#8. No matter how dire a situation may be, I can always find the humor in it somewhere. If I was ever in a horror movie I would be the goofy one who doesn't seem to know quite what's going on but survives to the end with witty one-liners.
A.J. Rose
#9. It's one of those things that if I was smart enough to explain it in words, I wouldn't have had to make a movie [ "World Of Tomorrow" ] out of it. It's a love letter to science fiction.
Don Hertzfeldt
#10. I have a life and do a lot of things, and so far my work has been my life. If I was a painter no one would question me about my age. I'm an artist, I hate saying that.
Al Pacino
#11. I don't know if I was ever looking for this kind of success- it came along as a by-product of concentrating on what I was doing.
Russell Crowe
#12. I don't know if I was a funny kid. I would say I was a loud and weird kid.
Will Forte
#13. I stuck a barette with a silver star into my black hair. If I was going to be popping my head in and out of bars like a wife who was looking for her husband who had just got paid and was squandering all the money, at least I was going to look unbelievably fantastic while I was doing it.
Heather O'Neill
#14. At this point, I think I would garner a lot of hate mail if I was now on the cover of Modern Drummer seeing as I'm not a modern drummer anymore.
Jason Schwartzman
#15. I never wanted to be a bombshell; I wanted to be an actor. I would much prefer to be a woman than a man, but if I was a dude, maybe I'd have Johnny Depp's island because women in this industry after a certain age definitely don't get to do 'Pirates of the Caribbean.'
Lori Petty
#16. My goal, if I was going to do art, fine art, would have been to become Picasso or greater.
Kanye West
#17. Mal," I whispered into the night.
"What?"
"Thanks for finding me."
I wasn't sure if I was dreaming, but somewhere in the dark, I thought I heard him whisper, "Always.
Leigh Bardugo
#18. If I was influenced by anything, it was architecture: structure having to do with logic. If you don't do it right, the whole thing is going to cave in. In a certain sense, you can carry that to graphic design. Fortunately, however, nobody is going to die if you do it wrong.
Paul Rand
#19. got the Journal to buy me a Fat Mac." I had convinced the big guys in New York that if I was going to be writing about Apple, I'd better be familiar with their latest machines.
Brent Schlender
#20. In addition to my comedic sensibilities, I also have a love of science. I think that it would be nice if, by the time we're doing the next version of 'Roger Rabbit,' it would be nice if I was receiving my Nobel prize the same week.
Charles Fleischer
#21. Fifteen minutes later, cold-showered and somewhat clear-headed, I walked into the bar certain of two things. If I was going to stay in my very comfortable closet, I needed to avoid my new boxing trainer. And I needed a fucking drink.
N.R. Walker
#22. I struggle as a writer, and I'm convinced that if I was at school now, I'd be termed as having ADS. Two minutes and I'm drifting.
Johnny Vegas
#23. I couldn't decide if I was more offended that people thought I was the kind of person who would kill myself over a boyfriend or that I was apparently too stupid to know how to do it right.
Eileen Cook
#24. If I was a woman, I would be dressed in the same thing for a month and just change my hat and gloves. Maybe my shoes too; yes, I see what you mean but, really, it's jewels that change an outfit.
Manolo Blahnik
#25. A Nigerian acquaintance once asked me if I was worried that men would be intimidated by me. I was not worried at all - it had not even occurred to me to be worried, because a man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the kind of man I would have no interest in.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
#26. I saw a fleet of fishing boats ... I flew down almost touching the craft and yelled at them, asking if I was on the right road to Ireland. They just stared. Maybe they didn't hear me. Maybe I didn't hear them. Or maybe they thought I was just a crazy fool.
Charles Lindbergh
#27. If I was producing something, it wouldn't make sense to me to cast somebody because of who their father is because that doesn't put anyone in the seats in the theatre. I wouldn't go to a movie because that person's father is so and so.
Bryce Dallas Howard
#28. I get a terminal dissatisfaction on films. If I was bad in one scene, it's impossible to let go. And it can make or break my day. If I drank, I would probably drink a lot.
Jared Leto
#29. If I was working nine to five, acting would be my hobby ... I always feel like maybe I should do an Open University degree. But I'm never going to.
Claire Foy
#30. I write from my soul. This is the reason that critics don't hurt me, because it is me. If it was not me, if I was pretending to be someone else, then this could unbalance my world, but I know who I am.
Paulo Coelho
#31. If I was really a bitch I'd make your life a living hell. Instead, I'll just stand by and watch you do that yourself. You seem to do a pretty good job at it.
Sophie Monroe
#32. How did I know you were going to show up?"
"Because you're psychic now?"
Dylan raised an eyebrow at that. "If I was actually psychic, sweetheart, I probably wouldn't have
gotten involved with you."
"Oh, ow," he said, grabbing his chest. "I think you just made my heart hurt.
Andrea Speed
#33. The truth was, if I was perfect, it was only because of her. It would only ever be because of her.
J. Lynn
#34. It's a fallacy that writers have to shut themselves up in their ivory towers to write. I have all these interruptions, three of which I gave birth to. If I was thrown for a loop every time I was distracted I could never get anything done.
Jodi Picoult
#35. I've been a huge fan of all things paranormal my whole life. For me, it was always a question of when, not if, I was going to write a paranormal series. I dipped my toe in the genre by incorporating a mystical curse into the 'MacCarrick Brothers Trilogy.'
Kresley Cole
#36. What if I was truly my brother's keeper? And what if I really loved my neighbor? And what if it really wasn't about me but about we - where would we be? The possibilities should blow your mind. But since it's not
Bobby F. Kimbrough Jr.
#37. After the epidural was firmly in place, I double checked that we had a waiver on file that states we would own the hospital should my wife become paralyzed. If I was going to feed her mashed peas and wipe her ass until we die, I wanted to be rich.
Tara Sivec
#38. If I was having a bad day, eating was like self-medicating. But if you abuse food, you still have to use that substance that you abuse every day. You have to learn to use it responsibly.
Al Roker
#39. I'd forgotten what it was like to play music and have it be fun so I decided to stop. I wasn't even sure if I was going to make a new record, I was just kinda quitting.
Evan Dando
#40. And for so long, I had thought if I was going to write a song, or get "into" something, I had to at least smoke a joint or something. And that didn't work anymore. Once I was fairly well cleaned out, even a little bit of a drug getting into my work threw me off kilter.
Iggy Pop
#41. I realized then, that Cassie was going to kiss me. As my eyes found hers, something opened up between us. It was as if I was seeing something deeper inside her, then I ever had before. Without any words, I saw then, that Cassie loved me.
Melanie Cusick-Jones
#43. What's great about 'The Daily Show' is I can use satire and push the envelope. I couldn't do that anywhere else. Even if I was a journalist.
Aasif Mandvi
#44. Everything I've done feels like I'm just as much a part of it as if I was the producer. It's still the same job: all of us together figuring out the common good for a song. That's the only thing that matters. It's not like, "I'm the boss, and I'm gonna tell you what to play."
Vince Gill
#45. Charlie Christian showed me a lot, and was a great help, but even then, I realised that if I was going to make it, it was no use copying Charlie
Barney Kessel
#46. How do you make a compass? Uhhh hmmm so if I was a compass how would I make myself?
Toby Turner
#47. If I was on Broadway, I would want to do anything Vaudeville or a biopic.
Kat Graham
#48. From 1994 to 1997, I did nothing. I slept and slept and slept. If I was awake, I had to deal with things, I had to do things. In order to avoid that, I would just stay in bed.
Jonathan Knight
#49. If I was in a room with a bunch of skinheads talking about racism, then I would be disturbed, but after we finished a take, we were normal people again.
Edward Furlong
#50. If I was you," I whispered in her ear, "I'd be less worried about whether or not a girl beat up my boyfriend and more concerned about why my boyfriend wasn't with me instead.
Karen Lynch
#51. Since life is a dream I think I'll stop eating and drinking so much
do some ethereal daydreaming instead
go in the mansion of the mind and close all the doors, as if I was traveling in the back of a bus for 4 days & 4 nights, broke.
Jack Kerouac
#52. My mother never criticized any idea I had. She thought anybody could have anything. Even if I was in a poor family that worked at Ford Motor Company and lived in Dagenham. I could have told my mother that I wanted to work in pantomime. And she'd have said, "Great. I can help you."
Scott Raab
#53. NOW, MY BRETHREN!" Poseidon's voice was so loud I wasn't sure if I was hearing it from the smoke image or from all the way across town. "STRIKE FOR OLYMPUS!
Rick Riordan
#54. His arms surrounded me, pulling me close, holding me as if I was infinitely precious. I burned and trembled in his embrace.
Julianne Donaldson
#55. If I was born 400 years ago instead of now, I wouldn't have the life I have. There were freak shows, and there was horrible discrimination.
Peter Dinklage
#56. I was in the Vancouver airport, and I was speaking with a young girl. She asked if I was Freddie Prinze Jr., and I said I was. She kind of giggled, and while I was talking with her, her girlfriend ran up and took my sandwich. I did not call out after her ...
Freddie Prinze Jr.
#57. I have no regrets. I wouldn't have lived my Life the way I did if I was going to worry about what people were going to say.
Ingrid Bergman
#58. I didn't care if I was a genius or if I was pretty or if I was good in sports. I just liked to listen to Lynn and to talk to Bera-Bera and to eat rice candies.
Cynthia Kadohata
#59. I would venture to guess that if I was a construction worker ... who requested a transfer to another department for the betterment of his family, I would be commended for it. But because it's sports, there's just so much passion added to it.
Derek Fisher
#60. In the 1970s, I bought some cheap horses, then decided that if I was going to be in it, I was going to go big time. So in 2001, Bill Casner, a partner with me in Excel, and I bought a breeding farm, WinStar Farm, together.
Kenny Troutt
#61. If I was asked to say what was the greatest invention of human beings, I would say the sentence.
John Banville
#62. If I was on a march at the moment I would be saying to everyone: 'Be honest with each other. Admit there are limitless possibilities in relationships, and love as many people as you can in whatever way you want, and get rid of your inhibitions, and we'll all be happy.
Ian McKellen
#63. If I was afraid that something bad would happen, why wait? Why not make it happen now?
Helen Oyeyemi
#64. Most of us start from that position of irony now and what I wanted to do - really felt like I had to do if I was going to write another novel - was move towards something like sincerity.
Ben Lerner
#65. If I was a bad character that got away with murder like we see on other shows, I do not think I would like it because that sends a message that you can do these horrible things and never pay for it.
Hunter Tylo
#66. I absolutely love television. What's so great about TV is that I can tell 20 stories in a year. If I was working at a feature studio, I'd tell 1% of someone else's story, over the course of four years.
Alex Hirsch
#67. I'm not bleaching my skin, and if I was bleaching my skin and I felt like saying so, I would, but for the record, I am not.
Tamar Braxton
#68. If I was a freak of nature ... Hell yeah I wanna do freak shows! I don't wanna be applying for jobs at the mall.
Doug Stanhope
#69. I knew how to use a dictionary, and if I was going to be spending time around Nero Wolfe, I would have to buy one."-Archie Goodwin in Archie Meets Nero Wolfe
Robert Goldsborough
#70. If I was so malicious or off-color or just plain wrongheaded that I had to constantly censor my conversation with a minister, then I needed the experience anyway.
Charlaine Harris
#71. If I was going to spend the next day in jail for obstruction of justice, I'd better get a good nights sleep.
Kathi Daley
#72. I ached with loss that I'd never allowed myself to feel. As if I was leaving something important behind. And that something was me.
A. Lynn
#73. Sir if I was your daughter I would wait until this train started again and throw myself in front of it!
Kirby Larson
#74. If I was 30th in points and not making races and not being competitive in races, I could understand them saying I'm over-the-hill or I'm ready to quit or whatever.
Dale Earnhardt
#75. If I was a gold-digger, I would have a lot of money in my bank account. I'd be worth millions and millions.
Heather Mills
#76. How would Elvira run the state of California? Well, there isn't much I could do that is worse than what Arnold Schwarzenegger has done. Running it into the damn ground. If I was running the whole nation? I would have free Netflix movies for everyone.
Cassandra Peterson
#77. I happen to think Latinas, Latin women, are the most beautiful women in the world. So that's what I'm going to draw. I love women from all cultures, of course, but if I was going to deal with any of them, that would be No. 1 for me.
Gilbert Hernandez
#78. Sometimes when I'm under pressure, if I think somebody is expecting stuff from me, I'll do better than if I was just left on my own. I can sit down - I'm a skilled writer, I've been doing it all my life - and I can get down to it.
Dolly Parton
#79. If I was lying on my deathbed and I had kept this secret and never ever did anything about it, I would be lying there saying, 'You just blew your entire life.'
Bruce Jenner
#80. What I should have done, if I was going to be a GM, was gone on the road, gotten into the personnel a lot better. To do that job, you've gotta do it all year. I just did it at draft time.
Matt Millen
#81. If I was a braver man, I'd leave things the way they are, but I can't. You asked me why I'm a coward because I refuse to be without you. I cannot fathom any kind of a happy existence if you're not in it.
Colleen Houck
#82. Once, when I was little, I asked her if she'd cried when my father had fallen to his death.
At the funeral? I mean, the burial?
No, I did not.
Because you weren't sad?
Because it was nobody's business if I was.
Khaled Hosseini
#83. I figured if I was eccentric looking in Indiana, people would think, 'What is he selling? Let's look in his case.'
Ty Warner
#84. I didn't come from a wealthy family. I had no money. Maybe it goes back to naivete which is your greatest asset when you're young. If I was starting in comedy today and if it didn't work the first time, I'd probably quit. But I kept at it, kept at it.
Steve Martin
#85. What to say if I was wise and on your age I will take the chances and take Reddit Collection #1 and #2...
But if you are hungry... go and buy one sandwich!
Deyth Banger
#86. He was still experimenting with kissing girls even though he said he'd rather be kissing boys. That's exactly what he said. I didn't know exactly what to think about that, but Dante was going to be Dante and if I was going to be his friend, I would just have to learn to be okay with it.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
#87. My ideal kinda guy, if I was really gonna go there even though he's married, is Mark Wahlberg. To me he's a little black and white, the kinda guy who would understand if I pull my weave out.
Toni Braxton
#88. If I was able to tell my story with the passion I felt, my lecture might help others find a path to fulfilling their own dreams.
Randy Pausch
#90. He was mine, and I'd be damned if I was going to let some other woman have him. I would shove the candlelight up her ass.
Abbi Glines
#91. I've got nothing but the greatest respect for Mrs. Gogol," said Granny. "A fine woman. But talks a bit too much. If I was her, I'd have had a couple of big nails right through that thing by now."
"You would, too," said Nanny. "It's a good thing you're good, ain't it.
Terry Pratchett
#92. Aiden grabbed my arm, pulling me right against his chest. The unexpected contact fried my brain. If I was like every other pure-blood, I would have had you by now, without even thinking about the consequences for you. Every day is a struggle not to be like them.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#93. If you spent a proper amount of time with me, you would probably wonder if I was on drugs - I'm not. I'm just incredibly hyperactive and manic. I can be quiet and serious at the same time.
Daniel Radcliffe
#94. And over that side of the island all their sacred men were at work trying to kill me by their (magical) arts. Messengers arrived from every quarter of the island, inquiring anxiously about my health, and wondering if I was not feeling sick.
John Gibson Paton
#95. If I was a bird, Kline Brooks could go fuck himself.
Max Monroe
#96. I write a lot about other people, like family and friends. I look at their lives and relationships and think, 'Well, if I was in your position, this is how I would see it.'
Dionne Bromfield
#97. I grew up listening to Commission, Kirk Franklin and Hezekiah Walker. If I was found listening to any rap, my pops would throw them out, or crush the CDs and tapes - literally.
Rahki
#98. I'm not much of a political person and even if I was, look, Rock 'n' Roll is supposed to be fun and sexy and a little bit dangerous.
Lita Ford
#99. If I was a book, I would like to be a library book, so I would be taken home by all different sorts of kids.
Cornelia Funke
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