If I Was Quotes

#1. People ask me if my shoes were too small when I was a kid and I say it wouldn't matter how fight my shoes were, I just liked that feeling of them being in there. That's how I started tapping my toes.

Nomar Garciaparra

#2. I don't know what kind of life you had, what sorts of joys and sorrows you experienced. But even if there was something that left you unfulfilled, you can't go around seeking it at other people's doors. Even if it is at the place you're most familiar with, and the sort of act that is your forte.

Haruki Murakami

#3. I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like What I'm Going to be If I Grow Up

Lenny Bruce

#4. Protective coloration ... you learn to use it to get along in the world if you want. Only I got sick of living in the box the world prescribed; it was far to small to hold me. So I knocked down a few walls.

Bruce Coville

#5. Somebody came up to me after a talk I had given, and say, "You make mathematics seem like fun." I was inspired to reply, "If it isn't fun, why do it?"

Ralph P. Boas Jr.

#6. I'm wondering if you can speed this story up a bit," Ms. Jordan said. "I spilled pudding on Missy Trillin's head while she was taking a pee." "I see." Ms. Jordan nodded. "Now I think we're getting somewhere.

James Patterson

#7. I suppose I was dying again, so I asked the Lord of Permanent Affection for the strength to live the day. Clearly, the answer came in the affirmative."
"I didn't know there was such a Fellow," Buttercup said.
"Neither did I, in truth, but if He didn't exist, I didn't much want to either.

William Goldman

#8. My greatest gift in life was being dyslexic. It made me special. It made me different. If I had not been dyslexic, I wouldn't have needed sports.

Caitlyn Jenner

#9. It surprised me that I was already using the past tense. People I knew. As if I didn't know them anymore.

Ashley Newell

#10. It will be a nuisance if he even suspects I spare the merest moment to ponder the Intruder, and he would willfully misinterpret it. I think of her only because I am concerned with their security. The thought was so lame and uncertain in his own mind, it made him growl.

K.M. Shea

#11. If I had to sit in Heaven forever, knowing that there are these people, millions and millions- probably billions of people, suffering these eternal horrible torments and there was nothing I could ever do for them, that, to me, would be Hell.

Richard Carrier

#12. I did comics on the Internet because it was free, and if I had made printed copies, I wouldn't have known what to do with them. But I knew how to make a website when most people didn't, and back then, that was enough!

John Allison

#13. They just expected it to you know ... Paul, Steve and I could have hired our own publicist, if we wanted to, but I kind of liked the way it was more of a cult thing and those that liked it, liked it, you know what I mean?

Amy Sedaris

#14. I am not and will never again be a young writer, a young homeowner, a young teacher. I was never a young wife. The only thing I could do now for which my youth would be a truly notable feature would be to die. If I died now, I'd die young. Everything else, I'm doing middle-aged.

Meghan Daum

#15. I would not want to be a politician ... Let me tell you this: If I was campaigning, and I go against my opponent and he started attacking my character, and I leap over the table and choke him unconscious, would that help my campaign?

Chuck Norris

#16. Even when I did my Broadway show, I did 15 minutes no one had seen before, because that was the night that Michael Jackson protested about Al Sharpton bailing on him. I said, "Wow, if that man bails on you, this must be really a lost cause."

Robin Williams

#17. The first two drinks were always wonderfully liberating. You think better. You're braver, and you'll say anything. If you could just hang in there with two or three, it'd be beautiful. The trouble was I couldn't.

Barry Hannah

#18. Suddenly, the world I had scrutinised for so long was all around me, as if I had leaned forward and climbed into the television like Alice through the looking-glass. I had no idea just how deep the rabbit hole would go.

Simon Pegg

#19. On the other hand, there is a certain advantage in traveling with someone who has a reputation for shooting rather than being shot: as Keram said, in a self-satisfied way, they might kill me, but they would know that, if I was with him, there would be unpleasantness afterwards.

Freya Stark

#20. If any man is able to convince me and show me that I do not think or act right, I will gladly change; for I seek the truth by which no man was ever injured. But he is injured who abides in his error and ignorance.

Marcus Aurelius

#21. I laugh when Floyd Mayweather says that if he went back in time he would beat us all. I'll tell you this: if he was in the same era as Hagler and Hearns and Leonard and me, I don't think he would be such a big name. There is too much talk.

Roberto Duran

#22. The sign outside the juice store had said CHANGE YOUR FUTURE WITH SUNSHINE IN A GLASS. My future was looking pretty great already, and I couldn't wait to see what would happen if I added orange juice to it.

Maggie Stiefvater

#23. The strange thing is, if I was speaking to drama students about the thing that you should do if you're lucky enough to know or to meet the character that you're playing, I'd say, 'It's obvious: you quiz them diligently about their experience.'

Rhys Ifans

#24. It was long before I got at the maxim, that in reading an old mathematician you will not read his riddle unless you plough with his heifer; you must see with his light, if you want to know how much he saw.

Augustus De Morgan

#25. The bungalow was a hideous red-brick structure built, if I had to guess, in the early 1980s by some hack architect who'd been aiming at art deco and hit Tracy Emin instead.

Ben Aaronovitch

#26. My mom was always pretty supportive. She saw me do plays and she'd always act out the parts I did. My aunt, who played a big part in my life, was a little bit more reserved, because if they don't see you on TV every week they think you must be starving.

Angela Bassett

#27. We struck up a conversation, but took pains to keep to small talk at first. We touched on the most trivial of topics: I asked if he thought the fate of man was unalterable. He thought it was.

Gunter Grass

#28. If I was alone I'd find something to do. Read or work on homework or doodle, fake it, so if I was alone it'd look like I wanted to be alone.

Julie Anne Peters

#29. And yet we couldn't leave
it was if the rocks were holding us there. I mean, they were only rocks. But for some reason, those rocks made lonely feel good.

Cynthia Kadohata

#30. My first novel, 'The Lions of Lucerne,' just poured out of me. It was an amazing feeling of accomplishment. My biggest fear and therefore my biggest obstacle to becoming an author had been, 'What if I spend all that time and the book is no good?'

Brad Thor

#31. If he thought at all, but I don't believe he ever thought, it was that he and his shadow, when brought near each other, would join like drops of water ...

J.M. Barrie

#32. And I really wanted to see you, too," she said. "When I couldn't see you any more, I realized that. It was as clear as if the planets all of a sudden lined up in a row for me. I really need you. You're a part of me; I'm a part of you.

Haruki Murakami

#33. In effect, I was asking that if Russia mobilized against Austria, the German Government, who had been supporting the Austrian demand on Serbia, should ask Austria to consider some modification of her demands, under the threat of Russian mobilization.

Edward Grey

#34. Well, I'm sure I hope your health may be good, Louisa; for if your head begins to split as soon as you are married, which was the case with mine, I cannot consider that you are to be envied, though I have no doubt you think you are, as all girls do.

Charles Dickens

#35. People are still asking me if I knew Star Wars was going to be that big of a hit. Yes, we all knew. The only one who didn't know was George.

Carrie Fisher

#36. I was always being called upon to be an honorary boy alongside my brothers. I don't think I'd be a comic now if it hadn't been for that.

Jo Brand

#37. God, it's like reality's completely shifted on me. I used to think I was standing on such solid ground. If I wanted something badly enough, I just worked like hell for it. Now I can't decide what to do, which move to make. All the things I counted on aren't there for me anymore.

Tess Gerritsen

#38. My dad was a different bloke to me and not very nice to my mum, although I never judge him. If you did, you'd become one of those people who is all-consumed by a fault in their past. And I haven't got the time for it.

Martin Clunes

#39. I grew up thinking it was wonderful to be big and strong and to be able to knock down other children in the playground if I needed to. But I never felt the need.

Maeve Binchy

#40. If you walk by something that I've done and you like it then I don't think I did what I was supposed to do. It should hit, it should either make you feel uncomfortable, or it should make you feel great, as long as it makes you feel something.

Jason Shawn Alexander

#41. You must always be puzzled by mental illness. The thing I would dread most, if I became mentally ill, would be your adopting a common sense attitude; that you could take it for granted that I was deluded

Ludwig Wittgenstein

#42. And under my breath I was telling it to hisht and for shame, and if I had known any swearing I would have had that in, too.

Richard Llewellyn

#43. The only thing I wouldn't like to do is to play roles as a musician. I'm not sure that I would be comfortable doing that, and I'm not sure I'd be very good at it. I think I would be better served, and would be a better partner, if I was in something outside of myself.

Larry Mullen Jr.

#44. Will you accompany me in this dance?" he said, bowing and holding out his hand.
"No, thank you." Miri smiled.
The prince frowned and looked and the chief delegate as if for assistance.
Miri laughed self consciously. "I, uh, I was teasing.

Shannon Hale

#45. I even found it difficult to watch myself playing on TV because I couldn't identify with the person on the screen. I couldn't get to grips with it. It was as if it was all happening to someone else.

George Best

#46. My grandmother always used to tell me, if I had a problem, I was only allowed to complain for one second. Then I had to take action.

Euzhan Palcy

#47. Plus, I wondered if any of these celebrities were alive; or if Brangelina was now a zombified couple.

Shannon Jaeger

#48. I call you domina because that's what you are," Samuel insisted.
"It's what I was. Now I'm just Brie. What if I only called you pathfinder?

Kenya Wright

#49. With you, I want it all. If I get a taste of what it could be, I won't ever want to let it go. I fell in love with you when I was sixteen, and that's never changed. But trusting you with my heart again is different. With you, I need to know it's forever.

Abbi Glines

#50. I wondered if all creatures were drawn to what was dangerous or if we merely wanted light at any cost and were willing to burn for our desires.

Alice Hoffman

#51. THE MAGICIAN
They asked St. Germain's manservant if his master was truly a thousand years old, as it was rumored he had claimed.

'How would I know?" the man replied. "I have only been in the master's employ for three hundred years.

Neil Gaiman

#52. They are so very cultivated, so very rich and so utterly charming. At the end of each day, they all ask themselves: 'Is it time I stopped?' And they all reply: 'If I did, there would be no meaning to my life.'
As if they actually knew what the meaning of life was.

Paulo Coelho

#53. I didn't do anything for two years but work on 'Gone Baby Gone,' and it was miserable and hard, but at the end? It is a good movie. I liked it very much. If it had been dismissed and deemed worthless, it would been definitely devastating. But that didn't happen.

Ben Affleck

#54. It's funny. I thought she'd live through anything."
Charlie said, "Me too. I figured even if there was a nuclear war, it would still leave radioactive cockroaches and your mum.

Neil Gaiman

#55. I had an irritating flash of nervousness, wondering if he was right outside - or across the street, or downstairs, or hiding in a closet. Because I couldn't stop myself, I rushed to the hall closet and flung it open to make sure. Packed

Cherie Priest

#56. I assumed it was someone trying to sell me something. They're always calling to sell. Once they said if I sent in a check for $99 I'd be pre-approved for a credit card, and I said, Right, sure, and if I step under a pigeon I'm preapproved for a load of shit

Nicole Krauss

#57. Eight years ago, I was a waiter, and I didn't have a pot to piss in. And now ... ? It's like I said to my wife: I love the fact that, if I was in a restaurant and Steven Spielberg walked in, I could go up to him and say, 'Hey, mate, how are you?' I think that's pretty amazing, actually.

Nick Frost

#58. I couldn't decide if he was four or nine or twelve. I had no idea of the specifics of children. He was too young to drive, but old enough to be able to turn doorknobs.

Maggie Stiefvater

#59. I wondered whether trusting him was merely unwise or if it crossed the line into recklessness, like lying down for a nap in the middle of a road.

Ransom Riggs

#60. The idea of love seemed an invasion," she wrote. "I had thoughts to think, a craft to learn, a self to discover. Solitude was a gift. A world was waiting to welcome me if I was willing to enter it alone.

Kate Bolick

#61. I mean, you can't have sex until you're married if you're Mormon. The first time I had sex, my parents found out. They were listening in on the phone while I was talking about sex to my girlfriend. They freaked out, man. They both cornered me in my bedroom.

Bert McCracken

#62. I never saw her down, you know? But those last two times, it was like she was . . . fading. As if someone was stealing her spirit.

Nalini Singh

#63. The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.

Bob Hope

#64. I had been on the road for a long time and was not really getting anywhere. Bob Johnston, a friend of mine, had taken over Columbia in Nashville. He asked me if I wanted to come down. I did - thank God I did.

Charlie Daniels

#65. Again, if I was going to call Romney and the Republicans stupid, I'm certainly not going to call the Democrats and President Obama stupid.

Antonio Villaraigosa

#66. If I was into politics, I would be rich.

Lena Headey

#67. I was thinking that if I hit his nuts, maybe he would serve like a woman.

Thomas Muster

#68. But the right thing...was admitting that I couldn't possibly fully love her if my heart beat faster for someone else

Penelope Ward

#69. When I was younger I knew I could do anything - I could be the president if I wanted to, but that was a stupid idea - I'd rather be a rock star.

Kurt Cobain

#70. I was raised in the environment where it really wasn't about sittin' around dreaming all the time, it was about practicing and workin' really hard and if a dream ever came to you, you'd be prepared for that opportunity.

Harry Connick Jr.

#71. None of my actions have ever sort of been motored by the search for a husband or wondering if I was going to have a family someday or wanting to live in a really great house or thinking it would be really great to have a diamond.

Lena Dunham

#72. I don't pray. When I was young, I vowed I never would be caught begging God. If I want something I get it for myself. I go to church only to show the old hens they don't get me down.

Louise Erdrich

#73. No, amusing me only, I wonder if they realize how they are used?"
"Not a bit. They think they are the emperors of creation."
"Poor lambs."
"That's not how I'd describe them."
"I was thinking of animal sacrifice."
"Ah. That's closer.

Lois McMaster Bujold

#74. I was a big TV kid.When I was a kid, I would go home at 3:00 and watch TV straight through to the end of Letterman at 1:30 in the morning.I was obsessed with comics.And I would watch Jerry Seinfeld and Jay Leno and study them as if it was Tolstoy.

Judd Apatow

#75. I was tormented with guilt for years and years. In fact, it was so bad that if I didn't feel wrong, I didn't feel right!

Joyce Meyer

#76. I shot a Metallica video in Hollywood, and there were, like, 100 people on set. There was even a guy there to put antiseptic gel on my hands. Amazing. If I asked for that on a Danish set, they'd probably kick me out of the country.

Thomas Vinterberg

#77. I don't necessarily find superheroes in general, for me, that appealing. I'd much prefer to play, if I was to be cast in a superhero film, I'd prefer to play the villain because there's a reason, there's a motive behind their madness.

Ryan Kwanten

#78. My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

Jeff Foxworthy

#79. Hollywood is a very interesting place to deal with. And having been a theatre person, I was quite surprised by the slipperiness of some people in Holly-weird. There was a part of me that just said, 'If this is the way the game is played, I'm not sure I want to play it.'

Joyce DeWitt

#80. I was going through a break up. I was depressed ... I really did need to do something. Recording an album was a great escape. I don't know what would have happened if I wouldn't have started to work.

Damon Albarn

#81. I watched as that dark blob walked out into traffic, then was violently struck by a car. Yup, that's me. I was somewhat proud of humanity when I saw that a few people immediately came over to me to see if I was okay, rather than stealing my wallet or completely ignoring me.

Dennis Liggio

#82. One of the most touching things my mother said to me was that if I ever wanted to come back to live in India, she would build me a home and go out and work hard so that I could be happy.

Saroo Brierley

#83. If I am not mistaken, it was a British poet who said that 'no one is properly dressed unless he wears a smile.'

Sukarno

#84. If I lived in another country, like a country that was, say, an enemy of the United States, I would be more amused than I am.

Fran Lebowitz

#85. If I have not read a book before, it is, for all intents and purposes, new to me whether it was printed yesterday or three hundred years ago.

William Hazlitt

#86. Mia: I was sixteen when I first realized my mom was more concerned about my appearance than I was ... I'll be talking to my mom and realize she hasn't heard a word because she's studying my face to see if the foundation I'm using is a good match for my skin tone.

Mia Fontaine

#87. If there was a crayon, and I was to put a label on it, I would call it dinosaur skin.
-So B. It

Sarah Weeks

#88. I can't believe you're going to sacrifice your archery mojo for MacReive." Lucia would forfeit her fantastical skill with a bow if she was unchaste. "Who am I going to hang out with when your a talentless nobody?

Kresley Cole

#89. I thought Marilla Cuthburt was an old fool when I heard she'd adopted a girl out of an orphan asylum," she said to herself, "but I guess she didn't make much of a mistake after all. If I'd a child like Anne in the house all the time I'd be a better and happier woman.

L.M. Montgomery

#90. I eat soup noodles for comfort. In fact, noodles of any kind. It's a food that is very easy to eat; it's very soothing and comfortable, too. If I could choose any, I'd say buckwheat was my favourite: it has a very good flavour and is healthy, too.

Nobu Matsuhisa

#91. That,' he confessed aloud, 'was as ludicrous a case of mutual ineptitude as the gods of slapstick ever engineered. We both deserve to be tickled to death by small green centipedes. Well ... if you keep quiet about it, I will.

Poul Anderson

#92. When I was a worker I busied myself with socialist or, if you like, marxist literature.

Adolf Hitler

#93. If someone is being bullied or feels like an outsider, and they relate to something that I've done, even if it's just igniting a spark, that's great. I had that feeling as a kid. I was messed with no end.

Johnny Depp

#94. I think it would be terrific if everybody was alike.

Andy Warhol

#95. There was a loophole in the law that said if I was working, I could be in the clubs as long as I didn't drink alcohol and had someone with me.

TyDi

#96. It's always the case, whenever you're doing someone real, how much you want to do an impression or a characterisation. If I was doing Churchill, or Gandhi - people know exactly how they talked, walked.

Martin Freeman

#97. I was quiet. If I really wanted to say something, I would. I just wasn't interested in saying anything.

Nelsan Ellis

#98. New York City revived around the team. I don't think you can look at the recovery of New York from the 1970s without, on some level, talking about Steinbrenner. Even if you're just talking about the feel of the city, he was part of a creation of a new sense of optimism.

Jonathan Mahler

#99. There was no question that in our house doing well, doing it the right way, school, sports - there was an expectation. One of the things I've taken away from that is that I'm unafraid to expect a fair amount from people. It makes them so much better - you're doing them a disservice if you don't.

James McNerney

#100. I had a daughter who was 9 years old and I had the feeling I wasn't going to be a real parent if I didn't quit making movies for a while and spend time with her. I also felt that I'd made enough movies and said what I had to say at the time.

Jane Campion