Humour Jokes Quotes

#1. I think I have got a very good sense of humour; other people don't, but I do. I also laugh at my own jokes.

Jennifer Johnston

#2. We are sometimes hurt mostly or only not by what happened or is happening to us but by being felt sorry for.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#3. Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

Dave Barry

#4. Life sometimes confuses us by making us discover in someone we hate a quality or qualities we love.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#5. What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"Ask a glass of water!

Douglas Adams

#6. I think of myself as a writer with a sense of humour rather than a comedy writer. Happy to tell a story with lots of jokes in it - I wouldn't know how to do jokes without the story.

Steven Moffat

#7. Had a cold hummus with pita bread,
Under a delicious food, yellow or red.
Might just have the appetite to cook
Urgent dinner by hook or crook.
So that's just a humus humor spread.

Ana Claudia Antunes

#8. If u want to work in Corporate, then u should know how to play Chess.

Honeya

#9. I always have humour in my action movies. I think characters that make jokes under fire are more real. It somehow helps put you in their shoes.

Shane Black

#10. Remember that the wit, humour, and jokes of most mixed companies are local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not often bear transplanting.

Lord Chesterfield

#11. Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone else; and some are dead.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#12. Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#13. I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace.

Fakeer Ishavardas

#14. What's your favourite position?"
"I usually play winger."
"Zach, I adore you, but you can't make soccer jokes during phone sex. It just isn't done.

Tiffany Reisz

#15. When People in sales are at work, they are at war.

Honeya

#16. What did the soup say to the tea plate?
"You're too shallow for me. I like deep dish to dip right into!" I still keep my British humour in good taste. No room for egos or rumours.

Ana Claudia Antunes

#17. The primary paradox that man is superior to all the things around him and yet is at their mercy.

G.K. Chesterton

#18. The real problem you get with humour is that you only have so many kinds of jokes within you, and you mine that vein a lot. This isn't just common to me; it's anybody who's funny.

Bill Bryson

#19. I'm very proud of being Jewish. It means I have a good work ethic, and you get Jewish humour and you're allowed to tell Jewish jokes.

Daniel Radcliffe

#20. Why do we have to humiliate someone to crack a joke??? Do what u would like people to do with u..

Honeya

#21. Not every single way of saying the right thing is right.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#22. A best friend is one who understands humour in your most weird jokes..

Himmilicious

#23. No time for jokes," Nakamura said. "Is Neil there?"

"Let's just say I'm Sleeping Beauty's personal assistant right now."

"I guess that makes you Waking Ugly?"

"I thought you said this was no time for jokes. That was a joke, right?

Kevin Sylvester

#24. Not everyone who condemns masturbation can masturbate.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#25. It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour.

Keenen Ivory Wayans

#26. Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags.

Fakeer Ishavardas

#27. The man who acts as his own lawyer has a fool for a client.

Joseph Hansen

#28. The only time when i realize that i use a car, which is a "Luxury", is when i go to the fuel station to refuel it.

Honeya

#29. Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humour is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.

Frank Muir

#30. A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

Friedrich Nietzsche

#31. He said he wouldn't stay, as he didn't care much for the smell of the paint, and fell over the scraper as he went out. Must get the scraper removed, or else I shall get into a scrape. I don't often make jokes.

George Grossmith