Humour Author Quotes

#1. Being under pressure is great, if it's all in the right place.

Benny Bellamacina

#2. If you want to leave a big mark in life, make sure you've got a bigger rubber

Benny Bellamacina

#3. I'm not going to sit at your table and watch you eat, with nothing on my plate, and call myself a diner. Sitting at the table doesn't make you a diner.

Malcolm X

#4. It's good to write badly. Things can only get better.

Alan Dapre

#5. People are afraid of knowledge that is not yet theirs.

Madeleine L'Engle

#6. We choose our favourite author as we do our friend, from a conformity of humour and disposition. Mirth or passion, sentiment or reflection; whichever of these most predominates in our temper, it gives us a peculiar sympathy with the writer who resembles us.

David Hume

#7. I'm tired of the anonymity of being an unpublished author. I crave the anonymity of being self-published.

Tristan Durie

#8. Any advice for how to be a successful author?"
"Yes. Don't be a woman. And be dead. And do both at the same time, if you can.

Michelle Franklin

#9. The art of writing involves making as many cups of tea as you can in the time available for writing. Then adding extra time for writing ...

Alan Dapre

#10. Japanese people accept that art and commerce will be blended; and, in fact, they are surprised by the rigid and pretentious Western hierarchy of 'high art.'

Takashi Murakami

#11. You think writing a book is hard? Wait until you give it to someone to read.

Ken Stark

#12. I do not do free e-books. I occasionally like to eat that thing you people call "food".

Carla H. Krueger

#13. While an author is yet living we estimate his powers by his worst performance, and when he is dead we rate them by his best.

Samuel Johnson

#14. Always walk as if you're running late, it's healthier.

Benny Bellamacina

#15. When I meet people, I no longer say "Hi, I'm Derek Landy, pleased to meet you." Now I say "Hi, I'm number one bestselling author Derek Landy. Worship me.

Derek Landy

#16. The perversion of the mind is only possible when those who should be heard in its defence are silent.

Archibald MacLeish

#17. You just want to make something that's awesome and that people dig, and I'm excited about it.

Zachary Levi

#18. Shigure: G'morning.
Tohru: Good morning!
Yuki: Um, Shigure, it's night. Why don't you get a normal sleep pattern?
Shigure: I became an author so I wouldn't have to.

Natsuki Takaya

#19. My indiscretion was a part of my author mystique, just like Charles Dickens and Richard Madeley.

Rosen Trevithick

#20. I welcome reviews from all readers. I take criticism well; but please ... no comments on my author face!

C.C. Alma

#21. All worthy work is open to interpretations the author did not intend. Art isn't your pet
it's your kid. It grows up and talks back to you.

Joss Whedon

#22. If I could split myself into five people, I would still be behind on my writing schedule. I see now why James Patterson cloned himself so many times.

Peter James West

#23. If you can make it down to the pub, the pub will make it up to you.

Benny Bellamacina

#24. The sun doesn't live in England; it comes here on holiday when we're all at work.

Benny Bellamacina

#25. You put cow dung on my face?' 'Every day religiously until you were three. Why else do you think your skin is so clear?

Renita D'Silva

#26. It was unknowable then, but so much of the progress that would define the 20th century, on both sides of the Atlantic, came down to the battle for a slice of beach only 6 miles long and 2 miles wide.

Barack Obama

#27. There's no denying that television is one of the most powerful propaganda media we've ever invented.

Jim Fowler

#28. Use - to live by his own industry in England, rather than on the industry of the overladen people of France.

Charles Dickens

#29. The lot of the bride
to be wed before bed
desired until rotten.
The lot of the author
to be read before bed
admired then forgotten.

Roman Payne

#30. In today's society, looking good and feeling good often trumps doing good and being good. And some people don't know the difference anymore.

Ravi Zacharias

#31. In the U.K., the history of regulation, certainly regulation of the media, is one in which, time and again, successive governments lacked the 'bottle' to enforce the powers that were available to them.

David Puttnam

#32. If I had followed every urge I ever had, I would have had much more sex and killed a lot more people

Tommy Cotton

#33. If I could do it all again, I would start three hundred years ago, and write twice as fast.

Peter James West

#34. Oh, to be the author of prison letters. It's a young girl's dream come true.

Jenny B. Jones