Humorous Sarcastic Quotes

#1. Some of us are looking at the stars, but all of us are living in the gutter.

Vann Chow

#2. My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical.

Tim Heidecker

#3. Was he joking? Was he being sarcastic? Aggressive? Impertinent? Or just courteous? There was no telling from his impassive face. What a country, he thought despairingly. In Russia you always knew. If a man made a stern face he was threatening; if he was laughing uproariously, he was joking.

George Mikes

#4. We're automatons in a symphony conducted by a lunatic and performed by blind idealists. Damon

Eleni Papanou

#5. While I still did not know what self- actualization that sat on the top level of the pyramid meant, I could believe
that if I knew I would be able to say something positive about it as well in
my life.

Vann Chow

#6. All right, we need a way to get into the palace. Any ideas?"

"Ask nicely? Charge in? Fly? Wait, do you mean reasonable ones?

Noelle Crawford

#7. Kelly was not going to remove her glasses. No matter what the television said about it being safe to do during the 'totality'. The television also told her she wouldn't age if she bought expensive creams and pills.

Guillermo Del Toro

#8. Men never forget true love. They always remember all the women they couldn't have.

Ljupka Cvetanova

#9. Miss Green can call a turd a rose if she wants, but that don't mean people's going to be lining up to smell it.

K. Martin Beckner

#10. You're bubbly and approachable.".... "I'm none of those things. The sarcastic wit and humorous charm is a front. I honestly despise people. I like to consider myself as more of a dictator that staff are confident in but scared to approach.

Eden Summers

#11. Understandably she had a lot of suitors, just like any other girls in China with two arms and legs.

Vann Chow

#12. The worst thing about the dead rising? (Other than, you know, all the zombies?) The smell. Nothing kills the mood like the odor of three day old road kill and poo ... -Katherine Anita Cho(KyCH)

Shawn Durnin

#13. How many kids are in the Graveyard?"
"A bunch."
"Who sends your supplies?"
"George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget."
"How often do you receive new arrivals?"
"About as often as you beat your wife.

Neal Shusterman

#14. Hey!" Mena exclaimed "Don't knock Jeopardy. I love that show"
"So do I" Max admitted.
"I like it when I know the answers." Logan added.
Trent turned to Logan, "Dude, if you hate the show, all you had to do was say so.

Amanda Kelly

#15. Writers don't get mad they get even in their novels.

Candace C. Bowen