Humorists List Quotes

#1. Recalling the dream was like trying to follow a ship into fog.

Henning Mankell

#2. Nothing is inanimate; what is the rest is our interpretation.

Dejan Stojanovic

#3. I've got two wonderful children - and two out of five isn't too bad.

Henny Youngman

#4. It's a weird thing because I've been single at the time when I've been successful. That's good and bad. Good, because you meet lots of people, bad because your privacy is infringed, so it's harder to develop things.

David Walliams

#5. more than 90 percent of the female runners come home with a buckle, while 50 percent of the men come up with an excuse. Not even Ken Chlouber can explain the sky-high female finishing rate, but he can damn well exploit it: "All my pacers are women," Chlouber says. "They get the job done.

Christopher McDougall

#6. Oft in my way have I stood still, though but a casual passenger, so much I felt the awfulness of life.

William Wordsworth

#7. Richard began to understand darkness: darkness as something solid and real, so much more than a simple absence of light. He felt it touch his skin, questing, moving, exploring: gliding through his mind. It slipped into his lungs, behind his eyes, into his mouth ...

Neil Gaiman

#8. If you don't throw it, they can't hit it.

Lefty Gomez

#9. When you thought about it, it was sort of a blue-eyed wonder that women could love the best of them, let alone the rest of them.

Stephen King

#10. I've never done anything for money. My first love is things of limited commercial appeal. I could be happy doing Shakespeare for the rest of my life.

Karen Allen

#11. Physick, says Sydenham, is not to bee learned by going to Universities, but hee is for taking apprentices; and says one had as good send a man to Oxford to learn shoemaking as practising physick.

Thomas Sydenham

#12. I don't dig that two-beat jive the New Orleans cats play. My boys and I have to have four heavy beats to the bar and no cheating.

Count Basie

#13. Since I'm the judge, it's a very stupid thing to irritate me!

Judy Sheindlin

#14. May the devil himself splatter you with dung.

Jean Cocteau