Grandma Mazur Quotes

#1. That shooting gave me an appetite," she said. "Somebody pass
me the potatoes."
Grandma Mazur

Janet Evanovich

#2. When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said:
She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.

Janet Evanovich

#3. Grandma Mazur reads the obituary columns like they're part of the paper's entertainment section. Other communities have country clubs and fraternal orders. The Burg has funeral parlors. If people stopped dying, the social life of the Burg would come to a grinding halt.

Janet Evanovich

#4. I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down.
Grandma Mazur

Janet Evanovich

#5. I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate.
Grandma Mazur

Janet Evanovich

#6. Well that's disappointing," Grandma Mazur said. "I expected something better from her.

Janet Evanovich

#7. [Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love
[Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking you had it, or you talked yourself into thinking you didn't need it.

Janet Evanovich

#8. I shot that sucker right in the gumpy.
Grandma Mazur

Janet Evanovich

#9. I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant." -Grandma Mazur

Janet Evanovich

#10. Grandma was wearing a blond Marilyn Monroe wig, a hot pink tank top, black Pilates pants, and black kitten heels. She looked like the senior version of an inflatable sex toy doll that needed more air.

Janet Evanovich

#11. Taking things for granted is a terrible disease. We should all be checking ourselves regularly for signs of it.

Kate Tempest

#12. There are more temples across the earth than there have ever been. More people in all the world have felt the Spirit of Elijah move them to record the identities and facts of their ancestors' lives.

Henry B. Eyring

#13. Body tension will always be present if our good feeing is just ordinary, self-centered happiness. Joy has no tension in it, because joy accepts whatever is as it is.

Charlotte Joko Beck

#14. The road may bend out of sight at times, but I know what lies ahead: the faraway horses.

Buck Brannaman

#15. If I let her in I'm doomed. It's like inviting a vampire into your house. Once you've invite them in, that's it, you're good as dead!

Janet Evanovich

#16. The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.
Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.

Janet Evanovich

#17. Enjoy the beauty of simplicity and slowness of life, let go of urgency, stress, and anxiety of life.

Debasish Mridha

#18. Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

Janet Evanovich

#19. It is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom ... So often, our acts of service consist of simple encouragement or of giving ... help with mundane tasks, but what glorious consequences can flow ... from small but deliberate deeds!

Spencer W. Kimball

#20. There Bomar is, wherever he is, spending a fortune every day on liquor and beautiful women and expensive playthings, when he could find peace of mind right here with us, for a mere twenty cents.
Bomar

Kurt Vonnegut

#21. Whether you're a Democrat or Republican, if your standard-bearer for the presidency is not doing well, it's gonna reflect on the down-ballot.

Tommy Thompson

#22. Damn, I thought everyone carried a gun in New Jersey!!!

Janet Evanovich