Golf Bag Quotes

#1. You think nuts don't apply to the FBI? We get 'em all the time. A man in a Moe hairpiece applied in St. Louis last week. He had a bazooka, two rockets, and a bearskin shako in his golf bag." "Did you hire him?

Thomas Harris

#2. His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

Robin Williams

#3. On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he's now my golf bag.

Bob Hope

#4. You're such a cheater. The best wood in your golf bag is your pencil!

Rex Pickett

#5. If I needed advice from my caddie, he'd be hitting the shots and I'd be carrying the bag.

Bobby Jones

#6. Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes.

Dave Marr

#7. Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles.

Chi Chi Rodriguez

#8. I will just put four or five extra packs of cigarettes in my bag and I will be fine.

John Daly

#9. I've thrown or broken a few clubs in my day. In fact, I guess at one time or another I probably held distance records for every club in the bag.

Tommy Bolt

#10. Your confidence is the 15th club in your bag. You'd like it to be a thick headed driver. But it sometimes seems like a pretty weak little stick.

Peter Jacobsen

#11. I have a random array of ball markers in my bag and don't use any specific one. Many are the plastic kind you find at almost any golf course.

Matt Kuchar

#12. The way I pack is I look at how long I'll be gone and I pack day for day. If I'm going on a three-day fishing trip, I plot each day. I put most of that in a little bag. If I'm going from there to work on golf courses for a few days, I plot that trip.

Jack Nicklaus

#13. The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.

Bruce Lansky

#14. She gestured to the bag. "What have you got in there?"
"Nothing much. Some golfballs, a handful of tees, a Glock, extra ammo, two hand grenades, a tear gas canister, a knife, Tums, clean socks, flares, and some Ensure chocolate shakes."
"You took all of that with you to play golf?

Janet Evanovich

#15. The only thing you should force in a golf swing is the club back in the bag.

Byron Nelson

#16. I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on the back of a dinosaur.

Bob Hope

#17. I had a 15th club in my bag.

Ben Crenshaw