God Jokes Quotes

#1. I love jokes, but God, jokes can go so wrong. I have stayed up many nights thinking, "F**k. I can't believe I made that silly little joke. That was a disaster."

Drew Barrymore

#2. I wrote. I wrote all the things I couldn't say to him. I wrote about how much I believed in us. I wrote about how much I trusted God. I wrote that I was praying for him. I wrote down all the jokes I could remember, which weren't many.

Kimberly Novosel

#3. 28Just leave in peace the one who waits in silence, patiently bearing the burden of God; 29Just don't interfere if he falls, gape-mouthed in the dust. There may well be hope yet. 30Just let him offer his cheek when struck. Let him be the butt of jokes.

Anonymous

#4. It was one of God's jokes that such a dumb mind had been put in such an eloquent body.

Charlaine Harris

#5. God's jokes are the soul's curriculum.

John Perry Barlow

#6. If you are reading this then you have wasted another day of your life day dreaming, rather than planning the life God intended you to live.

Shannon L. Alder

#7. The Scripture warns about evil communications that corrupt good manners. Off-color jokes and dirty stories have no place in the Christian life. Thousands of people are engaging in immorality by the way they talk. Keep your talk pure. Ask God to purify your tongue.

Billy Graham

#8. We have arrived at the point where we are flippant about God. We tell jokes about Him. God's name is used so often in profanity in the entertainment world that sometimes it is embarrassing to watch television.

Billy Graham

#9. Oh my god," I said, but I couldn't help but laugh. "You can't make jokes about eating dead people if you actually eat dead people.

Kali Wallace

#10. God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.

Garrison Keillor

#11. When you can make others laugh with jokes that belittle no one and your words always unite, Hafiz will vote for you to be God.

Hafez

#12. The preacher released a pent-up breath as he sagged in relief. "Thank God he's gone." His eyes narrowed at Alexander as he bit out, "Did you know that man had the nerve to lasso me while I was out in the woods?

Rose Wynters

#13. I don't suppose God laughs at the people who think He doesn't exist. He's above jokes. But the devil isn't. That's one of his most endearing qualities.

Robertson Davies

#14. God is always joking. Look at your own life - it is a joke! Look at other people's lives, and you will find jokes and jokes and jokes. Seriousness is illness; seriousness has nothing spiritual about it. Spirituality is laughter, spirituality is joy, spirituality is fun.

Rajneesh

#15. If we piled them up, they would reach God.' 'But God does not exist, Comrade Farmer.' 'Nor do the potatoes, Comrade Stalin.' " "Old one." "Jokes only get old if they're good. Otherwise, who keeps telling them?" "People like you who aren't funny?

David Benioff

#16. A button machine makes buttons, no matter what the power used, foot, steam or electricity. They, no matter what the motivating force, death, love or God, made jokes.

Nathanael West

#17. The gods too are fond of a joke.

Aristotle.

#18. He said, "If God lived on Earth people would stalk his Facebook page and leave nasty comments on his Pinterest site." Then it sunk in- timing was everything and social media was the devil.

Shannon L. Alder

#19. Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.

Mark Twain

#20. I have some speakers up here, thank God, because last night I didn't have them and I was telling jokes and I had no idea which joke I was telling. So I told jokes twice. I even told that one twice.

Mitch Hedberg

#21. Women were invented ages ago, before the 1960s, because God realised very quickly that Adam needed an audience for his jokes.

Bridget Christie

#22. Profane, vulgar, or crude language and inappropriate or off-color jokes are offensive to the Lord. Never misuse the name of God or Jesus Christ.

Thomas S. Monson

#23. Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?

George Bernard Shaw

#24. I remember, growing up, if something big - God forbid - happened, the first jokes you heard on the subject came out of Jersey.

Oscar Nunez

#25. You should not take prayer too seriously. There is something playful about God. You only have to look at a penguin ... to realize that He likes to play little jokes on creatures.

Thomas Keating

#26. I always like to think I build in historically accurate musical in-jokes that are so precise that like maybe there's 7 or 8 people in the world watching the show that will sit up and go, "Oh my God the music being played is the right kind of music!"

Bear McCreary