Top 37 Stupid Jokes Quotes
#1. Vor stared for a moment at his own reflection in the familiar mirrored face, remembering some of the stupid jokes his friend had told and the innovative military games they had played together. Seurat had never harmed him in any way.
Brian Herbert
#2. All of a sudden Yutaka realized he had created a cloud of dust all around him. Oh no! No! This sucks. This blows more than your mama! Hey, now's not the time to come up with stupid jokes!
Koushun Takami
#3. My knowledge of the universe is that if I write stupid jokes, the universe gives me a really nice house and great meals. I do not believe mankind will ever develop a formula to explain this.
Joel Klein
#5. I said it, just like that. No stupid jokes, no changing the subject. For once, I wasn't embarrassed, because it was the truth. I had fallen. I think I had always been falling. And she might as well know, if she didn't already, because there was no going back now. Not for me.
Kami Garcia
#6. I've always wondered, what am I going to do that's important with these stupid jokes that I tell.
Ray Romano
#7. It's often the way that people who take their work seriously laugh at stupid jokes; it's as if they are under-humored and, as a consequence, suffer from premature laugh-ejaculation.
Nick Hornby
#8. Without a bellyful of liquor, all I am is a woman who cracks stupid jokes to make up for being shy.
Katie Crouch
#9. If they invent a car that runs on stupid jokes, you could go far.
Haruki Murakami
#10. I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In,' Flip Wilson.
Bernie Mac
#12. I discovered there was an endless source of robust enjoyment in trifling with psychiatrists.
Vladimir Nabokov
#13. What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.
Carlos Mencia
#15. Some jokes are stupid and useless, if you can't get it. It's to stupid to go in it, but whatever!
- Make your choice!
Deyth Banger
#16. Socialism is workable only in heaven where it isn't needed, and in hell where they've got it.
Cecil Palmer
#17. I heard my name." Ash's voice startles me. "You tow better not be making fun of me about this stupid bra Mama's making me wear. I've had it with the jokes. I'll break both your noses if it doesn't stop.
Abbi Glines
#18. People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing.
John Oliver
#19. Europeans hate the way Americans talk. They think we're loud and uncouth and they don't like our jokes, except for Michael Moore. Plus, they resent the fact that they've had to learn our language because if they didn't we wouldn't buy their stupid metric widgets or visit their overpriced ruins.
Denis Boyles
#20. 138: Yo momma so stupid, she thought the bait at the Safari Zone was free food and the rocks were souvenirs
Pokemon Jokes
#21. Jokes are another example of stupidity... we are so wise and so clever and we do stupid stuff, how wise is that?
Jokes on stage of being serious... when you aren't serious what you get is more likely somebody being in state of seriousness.
Deyth Banger
#22. Caring works. Caretaking doesn't. We can learn to walk the line between the two.
Melody Beattie
#23. It's Elvish," Tummeler repeated. "It says, basically, 'Declare allegiance, and be welcomed."
"Well, doesn't it perhaps mean that the magic word that opens the door is 'allegiance'?" Said Jack. "In Elvish?"
"That's a stupid idea," said John. "Then anyone who spoke Elvish could get in.
James A. Owen
#24. I like things that are immature and offbeat and bizarre. Random jokes. Weird stuff. And stupid. Stupid is the highest compliment a person can pay to me.
Andy Samberg
#25. You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good.
Tom Lehrer
#26. Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions
Criss Jami
#27. The portrait I do best is of the person I know best.
Nadar
#28. Grant, if we edited Fortran, I assume that you'd put a column thing in there.
Ken Thompson
#29. It was a different planet in 1967, the Broadway theatre. It had a little ashtray clamped to the back of every seat and the author got 10% of the gross.
Tom Stoppard
#30. It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to.
Sarah Silverman
#32. Damsels? You get sliced open, burned, and dashed against rocks about a thousand times or so. Then we'll see who the damsel is.
Kendare Blake
#33. Making jokes is about the most wrong and stupid thing a bemused, middle-aged, white heterosexual Anglo Saxon sort of Celt Australian male can do these days.
Michael Leunig
#34. 'The Sopranos' is filled with really retrograde humor. Bathroom humor, falls, stupid puns, bad jokes - infantile, adolescent stuff, but it makes me laugh.
David Chase
#35. It's not that I feel that school is a good idea gone wrong, but a wrong idea from the word go. It's a nutty notion that we can have a place where nothing but learning happens, cut off from the rest of life.
John Holt
#36. I don't see anyone avoiding the Stones because DJs make jokes about them being a part of the Geritol set. All it does is make the DJs look stupid.
Joe Perry
#37. Indeed, the first thing you might learn, in considering jokes, is that Marcel Duchamp's urinal was one - quite a good one the first time around, corny by mid-twentieth century, and downright stupid today.
Roger Scruton
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