Funny Prize Quotes

#1. We have been taught to "just eat a balanced diet." We have been taught wrong. The truth is natural healing works.

Andrew Saul

#2. I've seen quite a bit of the world, but I really like Sweden and feel like I could live there some day.

Juliana Hatfield

#3. I'm certainly curious about people. As a kid, I moved around a lot. I was raised in a lot of different places, and thanks to working in the movies, I've gotten to keep traveling. I've always been interested in other cultures and languages.

Viggo Mortensen

#4. If you found yourself in a situation where you could either save a drowning man, or you could take a Pulitzer prize winning photograph of him drowning, what shutter speed and setting would you use?

Paul Harvey

#5. What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!

Frankie Boyle

#6. When I am dead, I charge you to mingle our ashes and bury us together.

Madeline Miller

#7. I thought I'd go to a craft fair, and there would be a jar of jellybeans there - "Guess how many jellybeans are in this jar, and win a prize". Aw, come on, man, let just me have some. I'll tell you what, guess how many jellybeans I want! If you guessed a handful, you are right.

Mitch Hedberg

#8. Many short follies - that is called love by you. And your marriage putteth an end to many short follies, with one long stupidity.

Friedrich Nietzsche

#9. A designer is only as good as the star who wears her clothes.

Edith Head

#10. I think the central theme about black society is that it has got elements of a defeated society

Steven Biko

#11. This [discovery of a cell-free yeast extract] will make him famous, even though he has no talent for chemistry.

{Comment on German scientist Eduard Buchner who later ironically won a Nobel Prize in Chemistry for this discovery}

Adolf Von Baeyer

#12. Our nation is defined by an unshakable belief that we, the people, have the ability to control our destiny. A belief that anyone can reach out and grab opportunity and create a more prosperous future for themselves, their children and their grandchildren.

Tim Walz

#13. I didn't have anything to do with being born to my mother and father. But I had a lot to do with Kristin Shepard's notoriety. I'm proud of the work I did on Dallas.

Mary Crosby

#14. We've been married for more than eight years now and we're still into it. I think you do fall in and out of love and you just keep going, and every time you go through a really difficult phase, you rediscover something new and it just gets better.

Gwyneth Paltrow

#15. Don't think, he'd said, because it was easier than saying, Take me for who I am.
He couldn't bear that suddenly. He wanted it without pretences, without excuses, his fingers curling hard into Laurent's hair.
'It's me,' said Damen. 'It's me, here with you. Say my name.'
'Damianos.

C.S. Pacat

#16. Oyin Honey Wash smells stupid good on you.

Theodora Taylor

#17. It's not that I think I'm some kind of prize.
No, wait, that's not true. I do think I'm some kind of prize. I'm smart and occasionally funny and I'm pretty. I don't see why I should spend long dates with some guy who expresses himself in single syllables and wants to go to slasher movies.

Michael Grant

#18. The stubbornly doubter always wants to be heard
by listens to nothing and misconstrues everything.

Toba Beta

#19. You think the weather is weird now? Just wait. A new MIT study, just published in a peer-reviewed journal, projects that the Earth could see warming of more than 9 degrees F by 2100 - more than twice earlier projections.

Jeff Goodell

#20. First, I'm going to teach you how to Irish Whip someone."
"Oh, that sounds kinky. I want my safeword to be peaches," I said, grinning.

Kyle Adams

#21. City people try to buy time as a rule, when they can, whereas country people are prepared to kill time, although both try to cherish in their mind's eye the notion of a better life ahead.

Edward Hoagland

#22. Fredrika Bimm, what do you think you're doing?"
"Freaking out. Losing my mind. Thinking about snapping your husband's spine. Squashing the urge to vomit. Wishing I had died at childbirth."
"Oh, you say that when you don't get a prize in your Lucky Charms.

MaryJanice Davidson