Top 36 Funny Knife Quotes
#1. The two women exchanged the type of glance women use when there is no knife handy.
Sydney Smith
#3. The door opens and my new neighbor is a vampire. He's nearly a foot taller than me. Unruly ink-black hair, and a face made of knife angles. If I were obnoxious, I might use the term shockingly attractive . Or terrifyingly handsome . Holy mother of balls would also be an option.
Eva Morgan
#4. Being with her I feel a pain, like a frozen knife stuck in my chest. An awful pain, but the funny thing is I'm thankful for it. It's like that frozen pain and my very existence are one.
The pain is an anchor, mooring me here.
Haruki Murakami
#5. When I was 14, I saw someone getting their face and wrists slashed with a knife in a pub in Catford. Nobody lifted a finger. That's when I realised that violence wasn't funny. At all.
Noel Fielding
#6. You won't even take your bow? Are you planning to throttle a moose with your bare hands, then?"
"I've a knife in my boot," she said, and then wondered, for a moment, if she could throttle a moose with her bare hands.
Kristin Cashore
#7. He had noticed my bandaged hand.
"An accident," Warthrop said tersely.
"Dr. Warthrop chopped off my finger with a butcher knife."
Von Helrung's brow knotted up in confusion. "By accident?"
"No," I answered. "That part was on purpose.
Rick Yancey
#8. No way!" I yelled, taking it from him.
"I can't believe I made a pink knife."
"It's so cute! I love it. Finally, a companion worthy of Tasey.
Kiersten White
#9. concept: me, dancing alone in a moonlit meadow. everything looks silver. i'm not worried at all
L.J. Buchanan
#10. Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?
Stanislaw Lem
#11. Scientists have determined that the most irritating sound to the human ear is the sound of a knife cutting a glass bottle. And the second-worst sound is a fork scratching a glass bottle. Evidently they did all their research at the Picnic for Morons.
Peter Sagal
#13. It is not histories I am writing, but lives; and in the most glorious deeds there is not always an indication of virtue or vice, indeed a small thing like a phrase or a jest often makes a greater revelation of a character than battles where thousands die.
Plutarch
#14. Going into a game against Lew Alcindor [later Kareem Abdul-Jabbar] is like going into a knife fight and finding there's no blade in your handle.
Bill Fitch
#15. It is not a conspiracy, don't call it a conspiracy. It is all out in the open and it stands on the ignorance, apathy and stupidity of the American people that is the foundation upon which the New World Order is built.
William Cooper
#16. I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
Rodney Dangerfield
#17. The thought of being with Shay Wilder makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a butter knife
Lisa McMann
#18. This morning my soul is greater than the world since it possesses You, You whom heaven and earth do not contain
Margaret Of Cortona
#19. [William] Klein has eyes like a knife. He is ruthless and outrageous but never mean - he is tender and funny and violent - and, I'm sure, really in love with our crazy Rome.
Sophia Loren
#20. I've got a bit of Scottish Blood ... On my kitchen knife!!
Milton Jones
#21. Sin is a spiritual and moral malignancy. Left unchecked, it can spread throughout our entire inner being and contaminate every area of our lives. Even worse, it often will "metastasize" from us into the lives of other believers around us.
Jerry Bridges
#22. He shook his head. He didn't know. He couldn't tell when he had woken fully. He walked to the horses. They definitely seemed alarmed. But then, they would. After all, he had just leapt to his feet unexpectedly, waving his saxe knife around like a lunatic.
John Flanagan
#23. Quirky, funny, happy-go-lucky dead inside Dexter. No longer Dexter with the knife, Dexter the Avenger. Not until next time.
Jeff Lindsay
#24. Alek coughed politely, "If I promise to avoid funny business, could you perhaps remove this knife from my throat?
Scott Westerfeld
#25. I like rivers. They promise to take you places you ain't never dreamed of. Besides, if you got troubles? Just slip into a river and let the current carry them away. That's what I think when I'm in a river.
Judith Redline Coopey
#26. If you don't feel comfortable playing a role, if you're in a scenario that's not conducive for that kind of environment, then that's when you don't do well.
Nina Dobrev
#27. The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
Doug Larson
#28. Oh, I'm so going to put a knife in the other side of your chest, I think, feeling stabby.
Amy A. Bartol
#29. I think people should maybe just go out into the garden and watch a ladybug crawl across a flower and relax their mind. That's about all you need to know about life, I think.
Harland Williams
#30. Wolfe grunted. "That's admirably specious, but drop it. I give you my word that I haven't the faintest notion of who killed Ellen Tenzer." Cramer eyed him. "Your word?" "Yes, sir.
Rex Stout
#31. It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.
Demetri Martin
#32. Raphael snapped, "This isn't funny."
"That's why no one's laughing." Jace stood, hauling Raphael upright, jamming the tip of his knife between Raphael's shoulder blades.
Cassandra Clare
#33. Sometimes all it takes is a little watering everyday and a sunny day to follow, that's how weeds become flowers and new dawns rise - why would it be any less then for a human life?
Nikki Rowe
#34. He's sitting casually at my kitchen table peeling the skin off an apple
with a pocket knife, a red apple that he has quite obviously appropriated from my fruit bowl, might I add.
L. H. Cosway
#35. That has less significance than a dog's fart.
Mao Zedong
#36. Some years later, long after he and Megadeth parted company, Jay Jones was stabbed to death with a butter knife during-rumor has it-a fight over a bolonga sandwich. That's not funny, of course. But, if you knew Jay, neither is it particularly suprising.
Dave Mustaine
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