Funny Douchebag Quotes

#1. Suspicion on one side breeds suspicion on the other, and new weapons beget counter-weapons.

John F. Kennedy

#2. I don't like going out that much. When I'm out, I think about my couch.

Jennifer Lawrence

#3. The Chinese say that water is the most powerful element, because it is perfectly nonresistant. It can wear away a rock, and sweep all before it.

Florence Scovel Shinn

#4. I transmit but do not create. I place my trust in the teachings of antiquity.

Confucius

#5. Then at certain moments I remember one of his words and I suddenly feel the sensual woman flaring up, as if violently caressed. I say the word to myself, with joy. It is at such a moment that my true body lives.

Anais Nin

#6. You know what, I'll suffer in silence.

Joe Teti

#7. To accept with unquestioning faith, or to refuse to reconsider any particular view held by the Church in the past, is as unreasonable as it is unsafe. The faith of the Church is a progressive affair.

George Trumbull Ladd

#8. The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet.

Eoin Colfer

#9. It's so tiring to make love to women, it takes forever. I'm too lazy to be a lesbian.

Camille Paglia

#10. The dog is guided by kindly instinct to the man or woman whose heart is open to his advances. The cat often leaves the friend who courts her, to honor, or to harass, the unfortunate mortal who shudders at her unwelcome caresses.

Agnes Repplier

#11. I didn't want to prejudge but based on the company he kept, the glistening of his suit, and the poser-like swagger, I somehow suspected that Shiny Suit was what the students today technically refer to as a douchebag.

Harlan Coben

#12. Rhiannon's Law #22. You can't lie to yourself, so don't bother trying. Doing so only multiplies your douchebag level to the umpteenth power and confirms what others have been saying for years - that you are an idiot.

J.A. Saare

#13. Medicare is paid for by the American taxpayer. Medicare belongs to you. Medicare is for seniors, who many of them are on fixed income, to lift them out of poverty.

John F. Kerry

#14. The nobility which exists within any cause is to be found not in any achievement, but instead within the struggle.

Derek R. Audette