J.A. Saare Quotes

#1. It was the equivalent of asking a little girl not to scream the first time she was personally introduced to
Hannah Montana.

J.A. Saare

#2. Listen," I sighed and reached for my plastic bottle. "I want to get this sh!t over and done. Can we strive to obtain that goal? I have a meaningless existence, and I can't put that kind of action on hold indefinitely

J.A. Saare

#3. I nodded in approval, turned around and opened the door, and stepped into the hall. I walked past the receptionist, smiling at her shocked face when she told me in a superficial voice to have a nice day, and I gave her a parting gift - my middle finger.

J.A. Saare

#4. Rhiannon's Law #16: If it looks like a rabbit, and it hops like a rabbit, run the other way and fast. That shit is liable to tear you arm off.

J.A. Saare

#5. Rhiannon's Law #28: If you're going to fuck up, be sure to fuck up good and proper. Nothing makes failure acceptable, so you might as well make your misery count.

J.A. Saare

#6. I can't help it; this isn't like you at all. I know the blood exchange changes things - including mood and body chemistry - but this is beyond any kind of scientific explanation.

J.A. Saare

#7. Well, well, well. Tickle my Elmo ass silly.

J.A. Saare

#8. If you were anyone else, your nuts would be taking a long vacation, and the destination would be out of your mouth

J.A. Saare

#9. Don't tell me," I snickered. "You're in a club that gathers together like raving Trekkies to share secrets of the afterlife. I bet you even have an Enigma CD you crank up to get in the mood." "Don't be silly." His face lit up with an enormous grin. "We listen to Enya, not Enigma.

J.A. Saare

#10. Rhiannon's Law #37: Don't get so high and mighty, God will only reward that arrogance with a huge bitch slap back to reality.

J.A. Saare

#11. Just because I'm on the lookout for an ass kicking doesn't mean I'm actively seeking one out. It's called covering all your bases.

J.A. Saare

#12. My mind was no longer functioning on a rational level. For fuck's sake, who needed rational when they boarded a train to insanity? All that was missing were the Oompa Loompas and Willy-fucking-Wonka.

J.A. Saare

#13. Rhiannon's Law #63: Fake it until you make it. You might not know what the fuck you're doing, but that doesn't mean everyone else is aware of your inaptitude. When in doubt, hold your head high and pretend you have a clue.

J.A. Saare

#14. I arrived to work on the wrong foot. I was jumpy and agitated, constantly watching the doors. A loud fart would have sent me skyrocketing into orbit.

J.A. Saare

#15. Rhiannon's Law #68: If you're going to fly by the seat of your pants, rock out with your cock out. The landing is going to hurt either way, and you might as well make an impression when you nail it.

J.A. Saare

#16. It took years of trial and error to blossom into the fine outstanding young woman you see before you
today.

J.A. Saare

#17. Stalking ins't cool unless you're an Edward.

J.A. Saare

#18. The satisfying sound of bone giving way, as well as his outraged cry, made the you-had-it-coming-asshole angles sing.

J.A. Saare

#19. If her death taught me anything, it's this. Cherish the time you have. Don't worry about tomorrow. Right now is all we are promised.

J.A. Saare

#20. Who needs immortal strength when you've got weapons of mass destruction?

J.A. Saare

#21. Come with me," he said quietly and extended his hand.
"Nuh-uh." I shook my head, scooting in the opposite direction . "I don't think so, All American Hero.

J.A. Saare

#22. Rhiannon's Law #22. You can't lie to yourself, so don't bother trying. Doing so only multiplies your douchebag level to the umpteenth power and confirms what others have been saying for years - that you are an idiot.

J.A. Saare

#23. Rhiannon's Law #14: There is a reason the truth hurts. When you cease to feel the sting, it means you've stopped caring. And damn, wouldn't that be a total fucking waste?

J.A. Saare

#24. Stalking isn't cool unless you're an Edward.

J.A. Saare

#25. You have a lot to answer for, love. I can't decide if I want to take you to my bed and bust that perfect ass of yours or rip off your clothing and take you here and now against the wall.

J.A. Saare

#26. The feature article made my holy-shit-o-meter blare like a banshee

J.A. Saare

#27. Our bodies are stronger and faster, but our hearts are just as fragile, remember that.

J.A. Saare

#28. Thank you, Dr. Phil, for that fine psychological assessment," I snapped and motioned my chin to Disco. "Why don't you and Oprah here go take a long walk off a short plank and do the world a favor?

J.A. Saare

#29. Stop a knife? You're serious."
"As a heart attack."
"You are something else."
I couldn't tell if he was giving me a compliment or a veiled insult. "I try to be an individual. It's all the rage.

J.A. Saare

#30. Allow yourself to fall. I'll catch you.

J.A. Saare

#31. Fuck with the bull, assholes, and get the horns.

J.A. Saare