Funny Contradiction Quotes

#1. I don't think it's a contradiction to find painfulness funny.

Jill Soloway

#2. I really got into the cricket and staying up late watching the World Cup.

Jeremy London

#3. I'll tell you what I did need to learn was tolerance, and I think I've been actually given a daily opportunity to practice that, and it's - it's - and I know that that sounds almost like a backhanded slap, and it is in a way because I haven't been successful at it every day.

Mel Gibson

#4. Come as you are. If you are the blackest soul out of hell, trust Christ, and that act of trust shall make you clean.

Charles Spurgeon

#5. Where in the Bible are we told in one verse not to do a thing and in the next to do it?

'Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.' Prov. xxvi. 4.

'Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.' Prov. xxvi. 5.

Samuel Grant Oliphant

#6. 'Grease' is an awesome movie. I wish they'd make a new one, more for our time. The graphics are terrible when you look back on it.

Kyrie Irving

#7. My mother was an angel," I blurted. "A guardian angel."
Kaidan began to chuckle.
"What's so funny?" I asked.
"You. You're a walking contradiction. Horns and a halo. I don't belive it.

Wendy Higgins

#8. I like how strong Sade is and how she doesn't give away too much.

Jessie Ware

#9. I was born in Georgia. That's where my grandparents-and all my people-are from. But my family traveled a great deal because my dad was in the army as a helicopter pilot.

Michael Stipe

#10. We all have more than our share of pains and sorrow. Embarrassments and things that haunt us. From that, no one is ever immune, no matter how good or perfect a life you think they live. Shame and hurt spare no one.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#11. I've got drinks piling up on my desk and a stack of pills I haven't even opened yet!

Karen Walker

#12. It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.

Woody Allen

#13. Treasure each other in the recognition that we do not know how long we shall have each other.

Joshua L. Liebman

#14. I flunked three grades before I got out of high school.

Stephen J. Cannell

#15. If he's honest, he'll steal; if he's human, he'll murder; if he's faithful, he'll deceive.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

#16. Charity is a cold grey loveless thing. If a rich man wants to help the poor, he should pay his taxes gladly, not dole out money at a whim.

Clement Attlee

#17. He's always been moody. Even when he was a baby he was like a cat. All snuggly one second and then the next, he'd be looking at you like he had no idea who you were.

Gillian Flynn

#18. Ministry of magic?' bellowed Uncle Vernon. 'People like you in government? Oh this explains everything, everything, no wonder the country's going to the dogs ...

J.K. Rowling

#19. It will be recorded that the dead in the first decade of the calamity died of our indifference.

Paul Monette

#20. I think there's an interesting contradiction of having a young face and an old soul. There's something funny about it, and it also allows you to reinvent being old.

Matt Smith