Funny Bus Sayings

#1. Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was "How are you getting on?"

Billy Connolly

#2. Science must be understood as a social phenomenon, a gutsy, human enterprise, not the work of robots programed to collect pure information.

Stephen Jay Gould

#3. On a crowded bus in Israel, a mother was speaking to her son in Yiddish. An Israeli woman reprimanded her. "You should be speaking Hebrew. Why are you talking to him in Yiddish?" The mother answered, "I don't want he should forget he's a Jew."

Kirk Douglas

#4. Get the right people on the bus and in the right seat.

James C. Collins

#5. The more fascinated we become with the toys of this world, the more we forget that there's another world to come.

Aiden Wilson Tozer

#6. I loved Omar Vizquel. He tells some really long jokes, and he has his own way of telling them, but he can make every joke very funny. He would always come up with jokes on the loudspeaker on the bus.

Steve Finley

#7. Greyhound Bus Lines motto: "We Stop For Some Damn Thing Every 200 Yards."

Dave Barry

#8. This is L.A. You wanna learn Spanish? Take the bus.

George Lopez

#9. Hey, Ethan."
"Yeah?"
"Remember the Twinkie on the bus? The one I gave you in second grade, the day we met?"
"The one you found on the floor and gave me without telling me? Nice."
He grinned and shot the ball. "It never really fell on the floor. I made that part up.

Kami Garcia

#10. Money feels funny in my hands. If I give you this slice of paper, you let me on the bus? It's ridiculous.

Cameron Jace

#11. I had spent many years before I was 31 hearing people tell me, Oh Man, you're so funny, you need to be in television. But that and a quarter won't get you on a bus.

Chi McBride

#12. I was very young, and I kind of decided I wanted to do comedy. My parents were musicians, so we traveled on a tour bus. You're in a different town every night; as a kid, you're trying to make friends fast. You try to be funny.

Trevor Moore

#13. And I was all, "Don't be gross, you crustacious fuck. You pull that thing out and I'll pepper-spray you until you fry." (You have to be stern with weenie waggers
I've been exposed to on the bus over seventeen times, so I know.)

Christopher Moore

#14. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't driving around on a bus and having a campfire kind of adding to the environment problem?

Will Smith

#15. Seungri, are you listening? I love you.

G-Dragon

#16. My great grandmother threw herself in front of a bus. The police tried to say she was committed suicide but the family knew she was just trying to stop civil rights.

Anthony Jeselnik

#17. No matter where he went in the City, there was an odoriferous mix of food and vehicles, like the alchemic concoctions of some mad gourmet mechanic: Kung Pao Saab Turbo, Buick Skylark Carbonara, Sweet-and-Sour Metro Bus, Honda Bolognese with Burning Clutch Sauce.

Christopher Moore

#18. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?

Billy Connolly

#19. It's always weird to go from my mom to Mitch. It doesn't seem like I should have been able to get to this life from my old one, like there aren't even roads between those two places.

Rainbow Rowell

#20. I rented a car. I didn't really need one, I just wanted to make one less available. I wanted one businessman on the bus with no car.

Mitch Hedberg

#21. It's so funny because you think you're attracted to this bad boy. They do whatever they want, but you don't really want that. You don't want someone who's out on a tour bus, sleeping around with different people and getting wasted.

Malin Akerman

#22. Your awareness has its source in unity. Instead of seeking outside yourself, go to the source to realize who you are.

Deepak Chopra

#23. The tour bus is always fun, and there's plenty of time to watch movies. Actually, Kanye introduced me to the movie 'Step Brothers.' We were sitting there, watching it and clowning around - it was so funny, man.

Kid Cudi

#24. I had this funny family. At one end, they were breeding dogs in south-east London - for greyhound racing - and at the other, my uncle was living in Downing Street. And I would actually go to Downing Street, which didn't strike me as funny. I'd get on the number 15 bus.

Michael Moorcock

#25. People are funny. They want the front of the bus, the middle of the road and the back of the church. - Mrs. Miracle

Debbie Macomber

#26. I'm sitting in the bus station, minding my own business, reading 'Ta-Da!' magazine; a magazine by and for gay magicians, but that's a different story.

Dave Attell

#27. I had trouble even looking at her face without getting lost in the beauty, lost in the feelings, the love I had for her.

Karina Halle

#28. I was on my bus, and on my bus I have a yoga swing. Jennifes comes on, and she goes, ' Hi, Woody, I'm J
is that a sex swing?' Her first sentence to me.

Woody Harrelson