Funny Bear Quotes

#1. Horace, who had been trying to find out the meaning of Kurokuma for some time now, was pleased to hear the translation.
"Black bear," he repeated. "It's undoubtedly because I'm so terrible in battle."
"I'd guess so," Will put in. "I've seen you in battle and you're definitely terrible.

John Flanagan

#2. That really was NOT fun, though. Well, the hitting-her-with-a-stick part, that was fun. But crashing into a concrete bear? NOT fun.

Rick Riordan

#3. This (French-Kissing) is a really sexy thing to do, according to the French people, although you should bear in mind that they also like to eat snails.

Dave Barry

#4. Funny how Underhill could get along with almost anyone, tuning down his manias to whatever the traffic would bear.

Vernor Vinge

#5. Are you recycling? Are you!? You just killed a polar bear! YOU!

Russell Howard

#6. The little dictator who went to Moscow in his green fatigues to receive a bear hug did not forsake the doctrine of Lenin when he returned to the West and appeared in a two-piece suit. (On Daniel Ortega Saavedra)

Ronald Reagan

#7. Margherita Margheritone put the pot of water on the fire and the Wicked Witch emptied the sack into it and the little wash-bear jumped out and started biting both of them, went down into the yard and started eating the hens, and threw all the rubbish into the air.

Niccolo Ammaniti

#8. "Ah, Miss, hope is an excellent thing for such as has the spirits to bear it!" said Mrs Wickam, shaking her head. "My own spirits is not equal to it, but I don't owe it any grudge. I envys them that is so blest!"

Charles Dickens

#9. I love my ex so much I printed out all his pictures. After all, I need him for target practice. And I just love customised toilet paper and doormats. My only regret is that those items don't bear his autograph.

Natalya Vorobyova

#10. The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear's huge jaws. I wouldn't even try that with my agent.

Bob Hope

#11. Remember that the wit, humour, and jokes of most mixed companies are local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not often bear transplanting.

Lord Chesterfield

#12. When we were on acid, we would go into the woods, because there was less chance that you would run into an authority figure. But we ran into a bear. My friend Duane was there, raising his right hand, swearing to help prevent forest fires. He told me, "Mitchell, Smokey is way more intense in person!"

Mitch Hedberg

#13. I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook.

Bill Cosby

#14. In the silence, the bear died. It was a cute death, with funny music.

Orson Scott Card

#15. It's not funny. How would you like it if your balls fled in fear? My balls haven't been this frightened since I dove into the icy water at the Polar Bear Plunge my first year of high school.

K.C. Faelan

#16. He wasn't aware of it but when he smiled he looked like an amiable bear. When he didn't smile he didn't look amiable

Emma Goldrick

#17. This is the Presley and Zachary of old times. Two hot-headed and emotional people. Yes, he's sweet and loving, but he has an angry side. When you poke the bear, he roars loud. Funny thing is that I'm the same. He's pissed me off by coming here yelling at me.

Corinne Michaels

#18. The guy behind the counter scratches his neck. "Are you being serious?" Her face is stoic. "Absolutely. I never kid about teddy bears.

Jessica Sorensen

#19. Sometimes advises from others are more difficult to bear with than even slang.

Amit Kalantri

#20. You support me when I falter, and give me strength to bear the pain of my past. You make me laugh until I hurt, and soothe me when I'm tied up inside. It's funny how things work out, how life can throw curveballs, yet two people wind up exactly where they're supposed to be.

Kristin Miller

#21. I'm not scared any more,' said Midge. 'Thank you, Kevin. Sometimes you can be very kind.'
'Yes,' said Kevin. 'And if you tell that to any of the other trolls I will pull off your nose and feed it to a bear.

Doug MacLeod

#22. Are you scared of going in to see the raghnaid [the council]?" asked a gray female pup.
"Are you cag mag [crazy]? If a bear was his Milk Giver, you think he's scared of the raghnaid?

Kathryn Lasky

#23. So what's it to be, Bear?"
Dev lifted his leg and gave a sarcastic slap to his thigh.
"By golly, I'll take door number two, Bob. You know the one that calls for straight suicide with a side of mutilation and pain? Sign my hairy ass up for that and don't be late.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#24. The Second Amendment! It says you have the right to bear arms, or the right to arm bears, whatever the hell you want to do!

Robin Williams

#25. He looks funny in a suit jacket, like a bear dressed up in costume for the circus. I would never tell him that, though.

Lauren Oliver

#26. I think you can get away with so much more offensiveness when you're operating behind a stuffed teddy bear or a cartoon or something that's not real, because it's forgiven. It's like having a little kid in a movie curse - it's funny because it's not natural.

Mila Kunis

#27. Bear suits are funny - and bears as well.

Christopher Walken

#28. If I could go into the woods and kill a bear myself, I'd wear it proudly as a trophy.

Nigella Lawson

#29. It wasn't like there was a dating and mating website for bear shifters. If there had been, its mascot would have been that yellow Care Bear with the heart on its stomach.

Lila Felix

#30. When I consider that the noble animals have been exterminated here - the cougar, panther, lynx, wolverine, wolf, bear, moose, deer, the beaver, the turkey, etc, etc - I cannot but feel as I lived in a tamed, and, as it were, emasculated country.

Henry David Thoreau

#31. Amy [Schumer] and I each have our cross to bear when it comes to tattoos. Amy and I are funny when we fight. It just keeps escalating until one of us starts laughing. Then it's over. I'm happy that we're friends.

Anthony Jeselnik

#32. Dog owners are out in all kinds of weather. They tell you it's small payment for the love their dogs bear them. Some love. If that dog weren't on a leash, he'd be off after another dog, a cat, or any stranger walking along the street with a wet bag of meat.

Selma Diamond

#33. Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.

Arthur Smith

#34. I believe in a reasonable amount of "right to bear arms". But private citizens of the United States are not allowed to own nuclear weapons. I always wanted a nuclear weapon, if I could have gotten one. I'm every other kind of power, but I'm not a nuclear power.

Ted Turner

#35. What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless.

Bill Bryson

#36. Most animals show themselves sparingly. The grizzly bear is six to eight hundred pounds of smugness. It has no need to hide. If it were a person, it would laugh loudly in quiet restaurants, boastfully wear the wrong clothes for special occasions, and probably play hockey.

Craig Childs