Funeral Home Quotes

#1. Some men go a lifetime and never have their kid blow up a car, but I have a daughter who's knocked off three cars and burned down a funeral home. Maybe that's some kind of record.

Janet Evanovich

#2. I see people driving cars, winding down the streets. I don't know where these people think they're going. They're going to the funeral home; that's about it.

Frederick Lenz

#3. When Malcolm X was assassinated I was working at the Apollo. They brought his body to the Unity Funeral Home, which was around the corner.

Etta James

#4. But when I see Dust, I'm back at the funeral home. Tears streamed down my face and I couldn't make them stop. He handed me tissues. Only man to do that. It was a simple gesture and one I'll always remember.

Katie McGarry

#5. I grew up in a funeral home. Both my parents were morticians.

Tamara Tunie

#6. I've got no idea when I am going to retire. Whenever they pick me up and take me to the funeral home, I guess.

Colonel Sanders

#7. You would have thought that I had left 11 corpses on the steps of a funeral home.

Alex Ferguson

#8. Instead of slapping her head, I do what they tell you to do: count to ten. Only I do it the gifted way: 123+456+789+10. When your sister has hurtled you swerving into the darkness, stranded you at a funeral home, and threatens to get you in trouble, just stop and count to 1,378 before you respond.

Jo Ann Beard

#9. The biggest problem is the funerals that don't exist. People call the funeral home, they pick up the body, they mail the ashes to you, no grief, no happiness, no remembrance, no nothing. That happens more often than it doesn't in the United States.

Caitlin Doughty

#10. If you're ready," I say, wiping my eyes while he blows his nose, "we should head to the funeral home. Do you think they allow dogs in there?

Shaun David Hutchinson

#11. I grew up in a funeral home, born and raised, and everyone was always like, 'Well, what was that like?' and I was like, 'It was normal', because it's all I knew.

Tamara Tunie

#12. CREMATION OF THE BODY IS FINAL. - SIGN IN FUNERAL HOME

Darynda Jones

#13. Every morning I walk by a funeral home, and that's my productivity hack for how to make sure your to-do list is properly prioritized.

Anil Dash

#14. I used to work in a funeral home to feel good about myself, just the fact that I was breathing.

Chuck Palahniuk

#15. Anyway, they took her body to McBurney's Funeral Home in Motley. They'll be planting her tomorrow.

Peter Hedges

#16. Can you help me move those tables against the wall?" Mama pointed to five tables in the back corner. "The funeral home said they needed four feet of clearance all the way around.

Katie Graykowski

#17. You owe me!" -Stephanie
"Why do I owe you?" -Joe
"I caught your no good cousin." -Stephanie
"Yeah and in the process you burned down a funeral home, and damaged thousands of dollars of government property." -Joe
"Well if you are going to be picky about it ... " -Stephanie

Janet Evanovich

#18. They were both smiling so hard, it was surprising the frame could contain the happiness of that moment, surprising that it didn't shatter into a million pieces, floating all over the funeral home like dust.

Liz Welch

#19. Oh my God. I just got dumped by a red headed mortician in a funeral home named Crummy's, after pretending to be a circus freak at a visitation I had just crashed. I was pretty sure there'd be no bouncing back from this. -Dakota Bombay

Leslie Langtry

#20. Women who are interested in pursuing bachelor's and master's degrees - especially in STEM fields - benefit from starting at a community college. They offer an affordable education, with flexible schedules and degrees close to home.

Jill Biden

#21. There's no way that you can stop nature.

Luis Negron

#22. What I've always said about comedy is if you do it in the right way, you can say anything to anybody because they know where you're coming from. They know it's not malicious.

Trevor Noah

#23. The ocean is like a checking account where everybody withdraws but nobody makes a deposit. This is what's happening because of overfishing.

Enric Sala

#24. It's not just about filming, you go to awards and interviews too. I enjoy all of it, even learning my lines!

Christopher Parker

#25. Cheerfulness is the daughter of employment; and I have known a man come home in high spirits from a funeral, merely because he has had the management of it.

William Cornelius Van Horne

#26. Four days after his own funeral, Albert Wilkes came home for Tea.

Justin Richards

#27. It is very important not to mistake hemlock for parsley; but not at all so to believe or not in God.

Denis Diderot

#28. His mother wanted him closer to home. The funeral had been

Carl Hiaasen

#29. I don't want to go into a fridge at an undertaker's. I want you to keep me at home until the funeral. Please can someone sit with me in case I get lonely? I promise not to scare you.

Jenny Downham

#30. My mother died today. Or maybe yesterday, I don't know. I received a telegram from the old people's home: "Mother deceased. Funeral tomorrow. Very sincerely yours." That doesn't mean anything. It might have been yesterday.

Albert Camus

#31. Kids, don't trust any radical under twenty-five. His cock tends to get in the way of his political vision

Juan Antonio Butler

#32. Maman died today. Or yesterday maybe, I don't know. I got a telegram from the home: 'Mother deceased. Funeral tomorrow. Faithfully yours.' That doesn't mean anything. Maybe it was yesterday.

Albert Camus

#33. Virginia returned home, followed by the cats. There, in the kitchen, she gave birth to seven little boars. Out of sentiment she kept the one most like Igname, and boiled the others for herself and the cats, as a funeral feast.

Leonora Carrington

#34. The home funeral - caring for the dead ourselves - changes our relationship to grieving. If you have been married to someone for 50 years, why would you let someone take them away the moment they die?

Caitlin Doughty

#35. Morrie went to his funeral. He came home depressed. "What a waste," he said. "All those people saying all those wonderful things, and Irv never got to hear any of it.

Mitch Albom

#36. In our desire to impose form on the world and our lives we have lost the capacity to see the form that is already there; and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are.

Colin Gunton

#37. A bottle of wine begs to be shared; I have never met a miserly wine lover

Clifton Fadiman

#38. I never laugh or smile when I am writing. When I come home for lunch after writing all morning, my wife says I look like I just came home from a funeral. This is not bragging. This is an illness.

Carl Hiaasen

#39. If you focus on what you want and you persevere, chances are you succeed. You know, that's what I found. It might not be in acting - it might be in business, financing, it might be in the arts, it might be in anything. But it's all about focusing and being inspired.

Cory Monteith