Top 33 Family Humour Quotes
#1. We were a very funny family. Humour was the tool with which my brother and I tried to get attention. We were always trying to be the funniest.
Meg Cabot
#2. He nuclear family from across the street, which, as a result of decay, truly did have 2.5 kids;
Robin Becker
#3. I can just imagine what the humidity has done to my hair. I'm going to meet your family looking like a poodle with a live wire shoved up its butt. - Paige Winterbourne
Kelley Armstrong
#4. There is hardly less torment in running a family than in running a country.
Michel De Montaigne
#5. There was a family joke that Lucy's first words were, Nicholas is bugging me!
Alyxandra Harvey
#6. My wife is way funnier than I am. As much as I don't really feel I share a sense of humour with my family, I definitely share one with her - we find the same things funny.
Steve Carell
#7. The salutory effect of surviving a heart-attack: One felt that nothing mattered beyond kindness, good manners and humour
Hugh Massingberd
#8. Mother, who has an absolute belief that it is not the cards that one is dealt in life, it is how one plays them, is, by far, the highest card I was dealt.
Kay Redfield Jamison
#10. To steel yourself against mangoes showed a degree of iciness that was almost inhuman.
Vikram Seth
#11. -understand. She'll want to visit her family."
"If she does, it can only be for a day at the most. I don't approve of her, but the people are fond of her, not to mention the Italians. It would be very inconvenient if she died.
Kiera Cass
#12. He punctuated this last thought with such a deep sigh that a house sparrow singing near by stopped and rushed home to be with his family.
Norton Juster
#13. He crouched at the car window and looked in. 'What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one.' His finger jabbed the glass. 'That one's a bit ugly.
Derek Landy
#15. Our family car was the antithesis of designs and desirability. It was like driving Hitler's moustache.
Samantha Bee
#16. Honestly, we don't kick or bite or throw potatoes at all our guests."
A crooked smile touched Lord Bradford's lips.
"Your family has spirit," he said, taking his hat from Azalea. "I enjoyed the evening."
"Well, yes, you've just come from a war," said Azalea.
Heather Dixon
#17. Chater: You dare to call me that. I demand satisfaction!
Septimus: Mrs Chater demanded satisfaction and now you are demanding satisfaction. I cannot spend my time day and night satisfying the demands of the Chater family.
Tom Stoppard
#18. As a bandleader, I try to pass on the same family values that I grew up with: help people, hang on to your sense of humour, be tolerant, and keep your judgments to yourself.
Jools Holland
#19. Waiting for a book to be published is like having a baby. It would be nine months before we heard the patter of tiny pages trotting through the letter box, and the bookcase shuffled it's shelves in boredom and I was a martyr to morning sickness.
Deric Longden
#20. I'm a fun-loving guy. We are basically from Amritsar and ours is a chilled-out family. I think I have got my humour from my mother.
Kapil Sharma
#21. There is some humour in 'Family Values.' I don't want everyone to think it's not going to make them laugh. But there are quite a lot of poems there that aren't funny at all.
Wendy Cope
#22. Everywhere that we looked, were objects & artifacts reminiscent of a bygone age. of war & destruction, of mankind's determination to rule his neighbour, to prove how mighty he and his people are, yet a romance of days past that I am drawn to like a soul lost and hearing his lovers cries to him
Rob Shepherd
#23. Get down,' Bunty says grimly. 'Mummy's thinking.' (Although what Mummy's actually doing is wondering what it would be like if her entire family was wiped out and she could start again.)
Kate Atkinson
#24. They fuck you up, your mum and dad', and if you're planning on writing that's probably a good thing. But if you are planning on writing and they haven't fucked you up, well, you've got nothing to go on, so then they've fucked you up good and proper.
Alan Bennett
#25. With the long list of supposedly health-endangering
meals on our menus, 'starving' seems like
a healthy option to have on our list of safe-to-eat meals.
Uche Mac-Auley
#26. He was silent for a moment, staring out the window into the rain; I imagined he was contemplating the fact that his family's presence was turning the locals into giant dogs.
Stephenie Meyer
#27. I was much affected by the internal troubles of the Punch family; I thought that with a little more tact on the part of Mrs. Punch and some restraint held over a temper, naturally violent, by Mr. Punch, a great deal of this sad misunderstanding might have been prevented.
Edmund Gosse
#28. If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.
Johnny Depp
#29. The man behind the check-in counter gives the impression that he has just axe-murdered the motel's owner (and family, and family pet) and is going through these procedures of hostelry so as not to arouse suspicion.
Paul Quarrington
#30. Thorn, Gardener, get it? More skeptical people tended to believe that the Thorn family simply named itself after their high position in the Gardeners. I had my own theory. I thought his name was Thorn because he's a giant prick.
Erica Lindquist
#31. I'm so lucky to have a family, adopted or not! I'm so lucky to be alive! Judy Ellis Taylor tells her three school-age girls ... They roll their eyes.
Shireen Jeejeebhoy
#32. You set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far.
Libba Bray
#33. I have actually known a case where a Woman has exterminated her whole household, and half an hour afterwards, when her rage was over and the fragments swept away, has asked what has become of her husband and her children.
Edwin A. Abbott
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
